Dave was back at the bar last night and it was like he’d never been away. He’s a bit jaundiced and sickly, like he should have some kind of old blanket wrapped around him, but he got stuck into a few pints and a few pints never killed anyone, as we all know.
“What about that old cunt, Bertie, eh?”, he said. “Giving out shite about having to go to the Tribunal and there are journalism students gasping for a bit of work experience in a newspaper. I mean, it’s not like he’s going to be Taoiseach forever. What’s he going to do afterwards?”
“Erm…”
“And what a shark he is sending his bird off with a briefcase full of cash. If I’ve got more than a €100 in my pocket I don’t like walking around O’Connell Street. I’d shit myself if I had a case full of bank notes. They know. They can see it in your eyes. You wouldn’t last 10 minutes out there. And he sends his bird? You kind of have to doff your cap to that, in a weird way. No amount of talking about necks and jockey’s bollocks would get even close.”
“I see what you mean.”
“And you know what?”
“What?”
“I got home and there were a load of emails there about Ronan O’Gara. I mean, what the fuck do I care about Ronan O’Gara. He gambles does he? Well, shock fucking horror. Man who earns lots of money likes to bet. He’s the Irish Paul Merson. So what?”
“Except without the coke.”
“Of course. And do I care if his wife has thrown him out or not? No, I do not. Why should I take some perverse pleasure because some bloke who likes to gamble and get shitfaced now and again, like all of us, is having marital problems? What the fuck business is it of mine and why does anyone think I give a shit?”
“Right on.”
“And then I was on the DART yesterday because I had to go and do that thing out in Dun Laoghaire-”
“How did it go?”
“Grand. No problem.”
“Good.”
“Anyway, I went past Lansdowne Road. Just as a neat segue from O’Gara.”
“I like it.”
“And it’s gone. The whole stadium is gone. They knocked it all down. And do you know what? It looks small. Like the ground area is small and I can’t imagine how the stadium was ever there because it always seemed so huge. And then do you know what?”
“What?”
“I was thinking ‘I wonder if they’ll find any corpses buried underneath the stadium’, and then I felt a cold chill go down my spine but it was just the door had just opened and I was sitting in a way which made my pants fall down a bit so I suppose people could have seen the crack of my arse and the wind must have gone down there and up my anus and caused an internal chill which went down my spine which had nothing to do with the thought of dead bodies. You see?”
“Ron, triple Jameson, please. And a pint of Absinthe.”
So Ronan likes to shag the odd slot machine.
Ha! I knew a guy who used to shag his wife.
welcome home Dave!
Well I like to gamble and drink and as far as I know its legal and no ones business so the fact he does is not my business either unless he had a bet on Ireland being the shitest team in the competition. If he had that bet then I want my share of the winnings.
I did hear though from a Munster man that ROG called Best an Orange B@$t@&D.Which might explain some things!!!
It’s good to have Dave back. At least you’ll have an excuse to drink absinthe.
Glad he’s feeling better.Did he get that pint I left behind the bar for him?
O’Gara has a bit of a fuckin cheek calling Best an orange bastard when he’s off playing garrison games like rugby. He’s only a fuckin West Brit himself.
So Dave flashed his arse at the Landsdowne Road grounds, eh?
A fairly apt gesture considering Ireland’s recent rugby performances.
Dave’s successfully passed more tampons than the Irish rugby team has passed the ball. Eddie must be due a dose of toxic shock.
Hope you all are going to observe a sixty minute silence in honour of Marcel Marceau!
mime is shit
and mime artists are cunts
paralysed with grief…because speechless wouldn’t really cut it.
Mime “artists” – alive and dead – deserve several punchs in the testicules. Cunts indeed.
mime is good .maggots bad unless you want to go fishing.
Maggots hatch Macdara – I won’t be a maggot forever.
You Macdaran cunt!
I liked Scaryduck’s post – http://scaryduck.blogspot.com/2007/09/brown-bread-marcel-marceau-1923-2007.html
Hmmm… the intriguing thought of dead bodies under a stadium has been left off for kicking mimes.
Glad to see this lot has their priorities straight.
Look if your going to bury a body under a stadium, at least leave its arse sticking out in the middle of the pitch. It’d be perfect for propping the ball up for kick off.
@ Twenty: Thanks, bloke
Off topic but fuck me Berties got a friend in world politics
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7010565.stm
Maybe Bertie can use the “tribute” to Marcel defence in the tribunal this afternoon?
Oh and its less stressful to lose an ear through leprosy than drinking fucking absinthe
It must be Monday. Weekend over. The bloggers are back at the 9 to 5.
and your point is……..
Happy Monday is all. Chelski got fucked.
ye, but yet another ref fucked up.
I love to see saha kicked several times
in the nuts. Give him a reason to fall over like a big girl. It was the must blatant dive ever.
And Joe Cole should be shot – for not breaking Ronaldo’s leg
I agree Joe Cole should be shot.
I’m with tt on this one. Chelsea are just not special any more…Without Lampard, Drogba and Carvallo they looked very ordinary. One save in 90 minutes for Van der Sar was all he had to do. I’ll miss Jose but wonder if he will return as the new Man u manager when eventually Sir Alex retires.
Typical Manchester weather. It pissed down all through the game. Those Chelski Africans just don’t do too well in the rain.
Anto! you sound like a sad poor bastard?
Try wanking with a red and blue glove!!
The sooner that this Rugby shite is over and done with, and we can get on with proper CATHOLIC Irish pastimes like reading about rape in the newspapers, wife beating, and being racist bastards, the better for all concerned.
(#15) maggots hatch macdara? are you saying you spawned macdara and he’s all your fault?
mimes are lazy cunts and should be beaten to death with the collected works of shakespear. how anyone can think some scrawny goth who couldn’t be arsed learning the words is a genius is beyond me.
i hope argentina annihilate ireland and we never hear of o’gara, driscoll or any of the rest of those cunts.
and welcome back, dave
Nah porridge – what I meant was that some day I’ll hatch into something better whereas he’ll always stay the same – a Macdaran cunt!
Conan Drumm!
Sloes are the fruit of the Shillelagh bush….
Sounds like the sort of Chap you’d like to bring to breakfast at Tiffany’s
and then on to the opera.
And maybe you could bring him out to montrose to met Twink and Graine Seoige get him .
It would be a charity if someone would offer them both a ride.
Sounds like the sort of Chap you’d like to bring to breakfast at Tiffany’s
and then on to the opera.
And maybe you could bring him out to montrose to met Twink and Graine Seoige .
It would be a charity if someone would offer them both a ride.
Though if he’s not in the best of health you could tell Pat Kenny he’s been an ardent admirer for 30 yrs ; not only would he get on the radio but also the TV show .. ”which is a cracker of a show.. lots of surprises.” He could then ask Twink for a blow job on air in real time – what a show !