Oh, what to talk about
I could go on about the rain but fuck it. Rain is good sometimes.
What about the M50 who have bumped up the toll, yet again, and some drivers face a charge of €3 if they don’t pay with a pre-paid card thing. The cunts at the toll bridge will then photograph your registration and send you a bill for €3. Wouldn’t the administration of sending bills for €3 and accepting payments of €3 at a time cost more than €3? Pack of stealing fuckers anyway. One day that bridge will get blown to shit like it deserves. However, I don’t want to talk about that.
Bertie at the Tribunal. Nah. It’s still ongoing and he’ll be back in his box next week or something.
What I want to talk about today is Didier Drogba and his reaction to Jose Mourinho getting sacked at Chelsea. Now, Didier Drogba is a 6′4 African giant. He is a bit of a fucking fanny though as he loves to roll around on the floor screaming at the slighest touch. This was just classic though, a description of Mourinho saying his goodbyes:
Mourinho then put his arms around the hitman and hugged him like a departing father. As he moved on, Drogba failed to keep himself together and broke down in tears.
Hahahahaha. Oh God, I hope that ends up on YouTube. Surely one of the Chelsea players was recording it on their mobile phone. Drogba, big strong Drogba, crying like a little baby. Hahahaha.
Whatever you think about Mourinho the fact that his departure made Drogba cry, IN PUBLIC, is worth all the aggravation and annoyance he’s caused. It deserves its own comedy style playlist.
While my Drogbar gently weeps – George Harrisson
Wail meet again – Vera Lynn
Blubber Hotel – Chris Isaak
Ziggy Sobdust – David Bowie
Any more? This is just too funny.
September 21st, 2007 at 9:21 am
The Drogs of my Tears — Smokey Robinson
September 21st, 2007 at 9:26 am
Woke up this morning with a hangover fit to kill
Heard a little bird singing as he sat on my windowsill
He sang of foreign beaches, sand, sex and sea
My hangover satrts to dissipate
The shackles come undone as he sings of flowing Streams of milk and honey
So loud and clear
That it appeared
His song was meant for me
So I crawl out of bed
Quietly opening the window
Before slamming it down on his fucking head.
September 21st, 2007 at 9:39 am
Fucking poems are so fucking shit.
fuck.
September 21st, 2007 at 9:41 am
Quite so. Way to spoil the mood, Sarah.
September 21st, 2007 at 9:48 am
“Ziggy Sobdust”? pushing the envelope a bit.
Why not Alladin Sobs or Let’s Cry or Hunky Weepy or Diamond Drogs hey that’s a good one.
September 21st, 2007 at 9:53 am
There once was a guy called Johnny Five
Who got his penis stuck in a bee hive
The doctor looked glum as he said Johnny my son
Your days of fucking are done
May I suggest a career as a nun?
So he looked at the religions the few and the plenty
Before decidng to suck cock at the church of Twenty
Happy and content he spent his days
Sucking and posting comments making fun of gays
With repetitive bullshit that made even Twenty cringe
As he read the comments from the man with the minge.
How about limericks J5? Do you like limericks?
Today is my birthday guys. Woo hoo!!
September 21st, 2007 at 9:56 am
It was early in the morning, Doc.
Sarah is the worst poet in history.
September 21st, 2007 at 9:56 am
‘Dont cry for me Didier Drogba’ – andrew lloyd weber / madonna
September 21st, 2007 at 9:58 am
Shall I compose a limerick about you Twenty? Maybe I could do a duet, say you and your sidekick J5 in the same limerick? Get back to me on that tiger.
Work is so boooooooooooring (the hangover is not helping either)
September 21st, 2007 at 10:02 am
No, no poems about me or anyone else, please. Poems are gay.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:02 am
Easy tiger.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:04 am
I dunno,
“There once was a guy called Johnny Five
Who got his penis stuck in a bee hive
The doctor looked glum as he said Johnny my son
Your days of fucking are done
May I suggest a career as a nun?”
Made me laugh, especially the extra line.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:04 am
Okay Twenty you win no more poems or smutty limericks.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:07 am
Leaving subs tears-Billy Bragg
September 21st, 2007 at 10:09 am
That Maroon, he’s so subversive. Like a jammy dodger.
Stupid hideous Drogba, that mad me laugh most heartily.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:12 am
Irish college poems are even shitter than shit…
Little Queenie – The Beatles
September 21st, 2007 at 10:12 am
Do You Know I’m Way Too Sad, Jose.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:12 am
Don’t leave me Jose: Communards
September 21st, 2007 at 10:14 am
Stop your sobbing (you big gay footballer ponce): The Pretenders
September 21st, 2007 at 10:14 am
There was once a fella called Twenty,
who was obviously quite argumenty,
he had tiny ears
some irrational fears
and was a huge cunt
September 21st, 2007 at 10:16 am
Cry Didier Cry: Santana
September 21st, 2007 at 10:17 am
Writing limericks is pointless if you don’t have the brains to rhyme the last word.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:19 am
“Hey Jose what can I do?” Led Zeppelin
September 21st, 2007 at 10:20 am
“Nobodys fault but mine” also Led Zeppelin
September 21st, 2007 at 10:27 am
poor Sarah
September 21st, 2007 at 10:30 am
poor Sarah
heh
September 21st, 2007 at 10:32 am
Ah Twenty leave Didier Drogba alone, did you know Mourinho rescued him from a jungle (of sorts) in Abidjan and hand reared him on a diet of banana’s and Mars bars. They share a special bond.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:40 am
I love seeing grown men cry
September 21st, 2007 at 10:43 am
You cunts may mock, but this is a terrible tragegy. let’s have some perspective here – this is an even bigger disaster than the death of Diana, Queen of hearts. I’m looking forward to hearing what Sir Elton comes up with.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:47 am
and it seems to me, ou live your life like a corner flag in the wind, never knowing who to cling to when relegation set in…etc
September 21st, 2007 at 10:48 am
the missing y
September 21st, 2007 at 10:49 am
Cruel Littlesapling!
September 21st, 2007 at 10:51 am
I’m upset as the sad git in this :
http://www.heavy.com/video/24409
Is it male or female ?
September 21st, 2007 at 10:58 am
heh heh
September 21st, 2007 at 11:02 am
A now yis are all very cruel and racist to poor wee Didier. I don’t reckon he was crying from grief at all. Have you ever inhaled next to a Portuguese. I have and I can tell you it made my eyes moisten like Paris Hilton’s minge at a frat party. To have one come up and hug me would undoubtedly have me bawling like a toddler too.
September 21st, 2007 at 11:24 am
i guess when oscar wilde said that sarcasm was the lowest form of wit he obviously hadn’t met a limerick writer.
that said. i’d say he met a few limerick men in reading jail .. the tealeaf cunts.
September 21st, 2007 at 11:44 am
Drog a bye baby
September 21st, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Drog a bye baby,
From a league top,
When the boss goes,
Drogba, will sob.
When the team breaks,
Drogba will fall
Down will go Chelsea,
Abranovich and all.
September 21st, 2007 at 12:25 pm
I was just about to say that
September 21st, 2007 at 12:26 pm
I hope someone sets fire to your gee Sarah, you poet cunt.
September 21st, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Tears in heaven – Some Cunt
September 21st, 2007 at 1:37 pm
‘Cry me a river’ Justin Timberlake
‘Tears on my pillow’ Kylie Minogue and someone else in the 50s
‘I’ll do my crying back in Spain (or portugal wherever he’s from)…someone
September 21st, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Whatever, the guys a great footBAWLER
September 21st, 2007 at 2:01 pm
sob
September 21st, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Stop being so cruel to Sarah – she completely justifies my sense of superiority.
Have any of you been following the scandal of the Blue Peter cat’s name?http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7004122.stm I am reliably informed that, despite what the BBC is saying, the name chosen by the on-line poll was actually Pussy. The BBC has robbed us of the opportunity to snigger when a co-presenter says “Now let’s have a look at Zoe’s Pussy”.
September 21st, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Gotta confess I cried tears of joy at the news of the exit of that piece of shit. As for Sarah….
Roses are red,
Elephants are grey,
So is your hair
September 21st, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Beautiful tt. Just beautiful.
As for J5: if there is any justice in this world your tongue will be in it when they do.
September 21st, 2007 at 2:40 pm
There was a young man called Didier,
Who’s team mates all thought he was gay,
He’s big and he’s black, and he’s great in the sack,
at least that’s what I heard from Jose.
There, I think that covers all the bases.
Or….
Didier made all his mates snigger,
when his tears got bigger and bigger,
He thought it was over, till Big Ron came over
And called him a lazy fat……
I wish I could think of something to fit in there.
September 21st, 2007 at 2:42 pm
“While my Drogbar gently weeps – George Harrisson
Wail meet again – Vera Lynn
Blubber Hotel – Chris Isaak
Ziggy Sobdust – David Bowie
Any more? This is just too funny.”
No, no its not. The tragedy here are the bad puns and worse poems.
September 21st, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I think he’s from the Ivory Coast.
J5, I think sarah wants you
September 21st, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Since he left Chelsea, Mourinho has stated all he wants to do is go home to portugal and disappear.
Thankfully, the McCann’s have stepped in and are going to help him out…
September 21st, 2007 at 3:30 pm
@This was supposed to be the future
Hahaha!! Nice one.
September 21st, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Does he really want to be hidden in a dead labrador and burned in a furnace?
September 21st, 2007 at 4:46 pm
Aye, you’re in there, J5.
September 21st, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Get in line J5
September 21st, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Ye can all go together lads. I’m sure there’s plenty of room
September 21st, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Of all the chat up lines there ever was I never thought “I hope someone sets your gee on fire” would be the one that would finally get me some minge.
Jack.
Pot.
September 21st, 2007 at 6:04 pm
It seems that you have spawned a couple of feuds among the commentators.
September 21st, 2007 at 6:12 pm
she wants a tongue in her cunt.
I wouldn’t call that a feud
September 21st, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Number One: J5 is clearly Twenty’s bitch. The lucky bastard.
B) I know for a fact tt has an IQ of 2 and well it takes 3 to grunt.
Number Three: Peadar is correct there is plenty of room just ask Kate and Gerry Mc Cann.
C) Now I am off to listen to James Blunts new album while in the foetal position beside a half empty carton of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
Cheerio cunts.
September 21st, 2007 at 6:35 pm
1,B,3,C……..
what comes next?
September 21st, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Wots IQ mean ?
September 21st, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Jesus, the power of a woman and the promise of a gee to tongue
They’ll all be wearing high karate next and brushing their teeth
September 21st, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Hai Karate & wot teeth ?
September 21st, 2007 at 7:35 pm
tt – thanks for the spelling prompt, obviously your favourite brand. Silly me about the teeth too. My mind feels raped by the mental imagery that comment prompted..
September 21st, 2007 at 8:42 pm
tee-hee
September 21st, 2007 at 9:29 pm
Forget the Chelsea blues. Ireland have just penned their own swan song. The upside is that it spells an end to O’Gara’s wanky ad campaigns.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:26 pm
#4 On September 21st, 2007 at 9:41 am Twenty Major said:
Quite so. Way to spoil the mood, Sarah.
And not original either, Sarah.
September 21st, 2007 at 10:38 pm
Exactly, irish college poems, Yacuncha…
Though I think we were set up today by the smelly old pooing bastard with his Blubber Hotel. “I know it’s over – still I cling”…
September 21st, 2007 at 10:56 pm
ELCC, you are mixing up Chris Isaak and Morrissey!
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:52 am
So, Twenty’s latest theory is that only shorter people than himself are entitled to experience real grief? What are they, a different type of animal to him?
I heard a fellow on a stag night in Temple Bar saying once “Tall people are like rich people; they may feel low, but that’s such an effing joke, innit?”
And there I was, feeling that we’re all lucky, fairminded and brave to live in Ireland by choice – and so close to Longford, too ; )
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I like the story in the news today about the guy arrested smuggling iguanas inside his artifical leg!
September 27th, 2007 at 2:56 am
Hi, Twenty,
Sorry about the bad humoured comment. I’m glad there are still a few fellow smokers left, all the same : )
Enjoying your blog as always. Can’t resist adding this link, tho’
“The difference between soccer and rugby”
http://wesclark.com/rrr/soccer_rugby_difference.jpg
August 28th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
I WAS VERY DELIGTHED WRIGHT TO I WANT TO EXPLAIN THINGS TO,
thanks
god bless you
your faithfuy
author EGOWUIKE KINGS O.