I’m just saying…
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on September 19th, 2007
…anyone who talks to me like a pirate today is going to get a kick in the heart.
-
Recent Posts
Archives
Blogroll
- 73 Man
- Andraste
- Annie Rhiannon
- Bane
- Blather
- Counago and Spaves
- Crime always pays
- Damien Mulley
- Delightful
- Devil’s kitchen
- Diamond Geezer
- Director of goo
- Disillusioned lefty
- Dr Maroon
- Eamonn.com
- Emerald Bile
- Fatmammycat
- Fústar
- Fintan Taite
- Gavin’s blog
- georgiasam
- Gerry O’Sullivan
- Go Maith
- Green Ink
- Harry Hutton
- Head Rambles
- Inter-actions
- Irish Eyes
- Irish KC
- IrishURLS
- Linkmachinego
- Lung brothers
- Maman Poulet
- Matt Vinyl
- mcawilliams
- Medbh
- Monkeyballs
- Much ado about sumthin
- Musical Rooms
- Off the meatrack
- On the record
- One for the road
- Parallax View
- Politics in Ireland
- Positive Boredom
- Present Tense
- Problemchildbride
- Red mum
- Rick O’Shea
- Sarah Carey
- Scaryduck
- Sinead Gleeson
- Sliabh
- Spanish Exposition
- Stranded on Gaia
- The Chancer
- The Curmudgeon
- Tom Raftery
- Una rocks
- Well done fillet
Categories
-
© 2004-2008 Twenty Major - Still smoking in Dublin bars. All Rights Reserved.
Twenty Major - Still smoking in Dublin bars is an Irish blog.
A kick in the Heaaarrt?!!
September 19th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
“Argh me beauties” type stuff while putting a patch over one eye.
It also reminds me of the moshe dayan/one eyed parrot joke actually
September 19th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
1
A kick in the Heaaarrt?!!
Right, that’s it. Outside Fnac at 10pm.
September 19th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
2
Aaaaaarh! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! That kind of thing? Okay, where’s me black spot?
September 19th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
3
Pirates are a pack of eye-patchioed, bearded cunts.
September 19th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
4
never been to Pittsburgh.
September 19th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
5
booty
September 19th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
6
Joke du Jour for Twenty: “Why are Pirates called Pirates” - “Because they just arrrggghh”
September 19th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
7
How do you feel about Frankie Howerd ? (boom boom!)
Oooh, er missus!
September 19th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
8
Howya from Arrrrrrrrrr T E….
:-)
September 19th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
9
And O’Shea propels himself to the top of the list…
September 19th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
10
Arrggh - was that a “smiley” fuck face? See, it even made ME swear!
September 19th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
11
Why are Pirates called Pirates?…..
Because they ARRRGH!
September 19th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
12
sorry Ms Larking…just spotted the fact that we share the same sense of humour…or joke source
September 19th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
13
shall I walk the plank?..
September 19th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
14
There! Twenty. That’s what I think of ye. Before an hour’s out, I’ll stove in your old block house like a rum puncheon. Laugh, by thunder, laugh! Before an hour’s out, ye’ll laugh upon the other side. Them that die’ll be the lucky ones
September 19th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
15
Been waiting all year for this one…
Where do pirates do their shopping?
In Spaaaarrhh
September 19th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
16
You are all complete and utter cunts.
September 19th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
17
What do pirates like to eat?
A. BARRRRbecue!
September 19th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
18
a pirate walks into a bar, and he has a huge steering wheel from a ship, stuck in the front of his pants. He sits down at the bar(don’t ask how) and demands a drink. The befuddled bartender quickly complies, and hands him the drink. Finally, unable to contain himself any longer, the bartender says “Um, i dont mean to be rude, but do you mind me asking about that… huge thing… i mean… doesn’t it bother you?”
The Pirate answers….Yarrgh it drives me nuts!
September 19th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
19
Where do Pirates buy their groceries?
SpAAAARRRR
September 19th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
20
I’m truly sorry.
September 19th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
21
“…a kick in the heart.”
Aye, aye… me hearties!
September 19th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
22
Please refer to comment #18.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
23
All together now!
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we’re really a fright.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re rascals and scoundrels, we’re villians and knaves.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re devils and black sheep, we’re really bad eggs.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re beggars and blighters and ne’er do-well cads,
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
24
Pirates are also paedophile cunts who like cloves and have sex with winged midgets.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
25
Arrgh, Little Sapling - is that from the Pirates in Me Pants?
September 19th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
26
Sorry Twenty
http://migrant-isitjustme.blogspot.com/2007/09/arrrrggh.html
September 19th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
27
Well, I guess that makes me a winged midget
September 19th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
28
Mmmm cloves…
September 19th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
29
Why does a pirate’s phone go beep beep beep beep beep?Because he left it off the hook!
September 19th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
30
Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?Right where you left him.
This is so much fun..thanks Twenty!
September 19th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
31
“…have sex with winged midgets”
Twenty, actually it’s minged widgets.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
32
Re 24, you’re sounding irate… why don’t you have a p?
September 19th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
33
P for PIRATE!!!
September 19th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
34
It’s not, it’s ‘winged Midgets’ you illiterate prick.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
35
What do Pirates watch on TV?
ArrrrrrrTE.
I’ll get my jacket
September 19th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
36
Avast Twenty Majaaarrr! Tis the best day of the year for sure. Would you rather “Happy multicultural birth of some saviour day and his pet armadillo”, while somebody rams a blow-up Santa in your face? What’s wrong with doing something for a laugh? We have an election every few years, such is the fun. ;)
September 19th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
37
you can’t watch RTE on TV, it’s a channel not a show.
Also, that joke was made over an hour ago.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
38
Quite right! you fucking bilge rat. Oh, and Johnny Depp is a fucking ponce
September 19th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
39
How does a steak and kidney pie rate ?
September 19th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
40
afternoon dublin ice air two three tango foxtrot oscar delta delta md 80 inbound at level 15 eta two four 220 pob request join for one eight…
September 19th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
41
Arrrrrgh! Wheres that fool trying to land that plane?
September 19th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
42
Littlesapling
have you had absolutely nothing else to do today except pester Twenty with opirate stuff. For those of you who haven’t heard the moshe dyan joke it ends with a parrot making wanking type gestures while holding one wing over one eye because they had tied his beak shut to prevent him using his only phrase….
September 19th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
43
http://www.talklikeapirateday.com/translate/index.php
And you could also use this handy link….
September 19th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
44
Avast Ye scurvy landlubber!
September 19th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
45
Nothing to do with pirates, but have you heard -
Renault have just unveiled their new people carrier.
It’s so spacious you don’t even notice your kids in
the boot! It’s called the Renault McCann.
September 19th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
46
It’s not like you didn’t ask for it, Twenty.
Anyway, there was/is nothing glamorous or romantic about pirates - they were the Westies of their day.
September 19th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
47
They were little white dogs whose poo gets stuck to their fur quite a lot?
September 19th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
48
“Nothing to do with pirates, but have you heard -
Renault have just unveiled their new people carrier.
It’s so spacious you don’t even notice your kids in
the boot! It’s called the Renault McCann.”
If there’s a single human being in the world that hasn’t already heard that joke I’d like to meet them
September 19th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
49
Sorry, I only heard it this morning. I’ve been away.
Have I missed any more McCann jokes?
September 19th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
50
I thought my Westies comparison was pretty much air-tight, but it seems I was wrong.
September 19th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
51
considering twenty’s pirattitude, friday’s post (world gratitude day) should be interesting…
September 19th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
52
Thanks Porridge
September 19th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
53
Peadar: What’s the plus side of a costly spring holiday in Portugal?
A cheaper christmas.
September 19th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
54
Porridge
Can I copyright the first post on Friday
Thanks a fucking lot……
September 19th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
55
I hadn’t heard the renault joke, will I go straight to hell for laughing at it ?
September 19th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
56
My Grannies pie rates about 6 in the taste factor. I think its the wild parrot she uses to make the gravy, let me explain for any sensitive fowl lovers that the parrot is not an ingredient but a dab hand at making the gravy, but strangely shite at flying.
September 19th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
57
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off”.
“Wow!” said the seaman. “What about the hook”?
“Well…”, replied the pirate, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off.”
“Incredible!” remarked the seaman. “How did you get the eye patch”?
“A seagull dropping fell into my eye”, replied the pirate.
“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.
“Well…” said the pirate, “..it was my first day with the hook.”
September 19th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
58
Nothing wrong with wooden legs. Its more fun when you get your leg over. I’m a 21st century pirate cos mine is aluminium!! AAARRRGH !!
September 19th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
59
Twenty, can’t wait to see what we’re not supposed to do in your post tomorrow! And before you say it, let me say it for you
“You’re a cunt Celia.
Cheers
Twenty”
September 19th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
60
Hey - am I barred for obscenities? My comments aren’t showing up. Arrggh!
September 19th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
61
Em, okay they are.
Twenty, what’s the heads up on what we’re not supposed to bring up on tomorrow’s post?
September 19th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
62
Don’t know what the collective noun for pirate multimedia collection is but…
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=OfficialWench
Sorry.
September 19th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
63
Talk?
Deeds. Not words.
I want a day called, “Act Like A Pirate” and have everyone go to their neighbor next door and steal their lawn furniture, garden gnomes, and children’s bicycles.
Oh, and kick the neighbor’s dog, too.
September 19th, 2007 at 11:55 pm
64
Declan Chellar’s Ballog » International TLAP Day says:
[...] leave yer landlubberin’ ways until the morrow, but make sure y’give that scurvy dog Twenty Major a wide berth, [...]
September 20th, 2007 at 9:36 am
65
Joan, can i be your dog?
September 20th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
66
Joan, say woof if you agree, woof woof if you dont agree, woof woof woof if you want time to think about it and here boy if you want me to jump on/in your bed.
September 20th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
67
What do you call a pirate that sleeps with teenage girls?
Arrgh Kelly!
September 21st, 2007 at 2:15 pm
68
That’s one’s actually quite funny.
September 21st, 2007 at 4:43 pm
69