There! Twenty. That’s what I think of ye. Before an hour’s out, I’ll stove in your old block house like a rum puncheon. Laugh, by thunder, laugh! Before an hour’s out, ye’ll laugh upon the other side. Them that die’ll be the lucky ones
a pirate walks into a bar, and he has a huge steering wheel from a ship, stuck in the front of his pants. He sits down at the bar(don’t ask how) and demands a drink. The befuddled bartender quickly complies, and hands him the drink. Finally, unable to contain himself any longer, the bartender says “Um, i dont mean to be rude, but do you mind me asking about that… huge thing… i mean… doesn’t it bother you?”
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we’re really a fright.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re rascals and scoundrels, we’re villians and knaves.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re devils and black sheep, we’re really bad eggs.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re beggars and blighters and ne’er do-well cads,
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
Avast Twenty Majaaarrr! Tis the best day of the year for sure. Would you rather “Happy multicultural birth of some saviour day and his pet armadillo”, while somebody rams a blow-up Santa in your face? What’s wrong with doing something for a laugh? We have an election every few years, such is the fun. ;)
have you had absolutely nothing else to do today except pester Twenty with opirate stuff. For those of you who haven’t heard the moshe dyan joke it ends with a parrot making wanking type gestures while holding one wing over one eye because they had tied his beak shut to prevent him using his only phrase….
My Grannies pie rates about 6 in the taste factor. I think its the wild parrot she uses to make the gravy, let me explain for any sensitive fowl lovers that the parrot is not an ingredient but a dab hand at making the gravy, but strangely shite at flying.
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off”.
“Wow!” said the seaman. “What about the hook”?
“Well…”, replied the pirate, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off.”
“Incredible!” remarked the seaman. “How did you get the eye patch”?
“A seagull dropping fell into my eye”, replied the pirate.
“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.
“Well…” said the pirate, “..it was my first day with the hook.”
I want a day called, “Act Like A Pirate” and have everyone go to their neighbor next door and steal their lawn furniture, garden gnomes, and children’s bicycles.
Joan, say woof if you agree, woof woof if you dont agree, woof woof woof if you want time to think about it and here boy if you want me to jump on/in your bed.
A kick in the Heaaarrt?!!
“Argh me beauties” type stuff while putting a patch over one eye.
It also reminds me of the moshe dayan/one eyed parrot joke actually
A kick in the Heaaarrt?!!
Right, that’s it. Outside Fnac at 10pm.
Aaaaaarh! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! That kind of thing? Okay, where’s me black spot?
Pirates are a pack of eye-patchioed, bearded cunts.
never been to Pittsburgh.
booty
Joke du Jour for Twenty: “Why are Pirates called Pirates” – “Because they just arrrggghh”
How do you feel about Frankie Howerd ? (boom boom!)
Oooh, er missus!
Howya from Arrrrrrrrrr T E….
:-)
And O’Shea propels himself to the top of the list…
Arrggh – was that a “smiley” fuck face? See, it even made ME swear!
Why are Pirates called Pirates?…..
Because they ARRRGH!
sorry Ms Larking…just spotted the fact that we share the same sense of humour…or joke source
shall I walk the plank?..
There! Twenty. That’s what I think of ye. Before an hour’s out, I’ll stove in your old block house like a rum puncheon. Laugh, by thunder, laugh! Before an hour’s out, ye’ll laugh upon the other side. Them that die’ll be the lucky ones
Been waiting all year for this one…
Where do pirates do their shopping?
In Spaaaarrhh
You are all complete and utter cunts.
What do pirates like to eat?
A. BARRRRbecue!
a pirate walks into a bar, and he has a huge steering wheel from a ship, stuck in the front of his pants. He sits down at the bar(don’t ask how) and demands a drink. The befuddled bartender quickly complies, and hands him the drink. Finally, unable to contain himself any longer, the bartender says “Um, i dont mean to be rude, but do you mind me asking about that… huge thing… i mean… doesn’t it bother you?”
The Pirate answers….Yarrgh it drives me nuts!
Where do Pirates buy their groceries?
SpAAAARRRR
I’m truly sorry.
“…a kick in the heart.”
Aye, aye… me hearties!
Please refer to comment #18.
All together now!
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we’re really a fright.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re rascals and scoundrels, we’re villians and knaves.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re devils and black sheep, we’re really bad eggs.
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
We’re beggars and blighters and ne’er do-well cads,
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
Pirates are also paedophile cunts who like cloves and have sex with winged midgets.
Arrgh, Little Sapling – is that from the Pirates in Me Pants?
Sorry Twenty
http://migrant-isitjustme.blogspot.com/2007/09/arrrrggh.html
Well, I guess that makes me a winged midget
Mmmm cloves…
Why does a pirate’s phone go beep beep beep beep beep?Because he left it off the hook!
Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?Right where you left him.
This is so much fun..thanks Twenty!
“…have sex with winged midgets”
Twenty, actually it’s minged widgets.
Re 24, you’re sounding irate… why don’t you have a p?
P for PIRATE!!!
It’s not, it’s ‘winged Midgets’ you illiterate prick.
What do Pirates watch on TV?
ArrrrrrrTE.
I’ll get my jacket
Avast Twenty Majaaarrr! Tis the best day of the year for sure. Would you rather “Happy multicultural birth of some saviour day and his pet armadillo”, while somebody rams a blow-up Santa in your face? What’s wrong with doing something for a laugh? We have an election every few years, such is the fun. ;)
you can’t watch RTE on TV, it’s a channel not a show.
Also, that joke was made over an hour ago.
Quite right! you fucking bilge rat. Oh, and Johnny Depp is a fucking ponce
How does a steak and kidney pie rate ?
afternoon dublin ice air two three tango foxtrot oscar delta delta md 80 inbound at level 15 eta two four 220 pob request join for one eight…
Arrrrrgh! Wheres that fool trying to land that plane?
Littlesapling
have you had absolutely nothing else to do today except pester Twenty with opirate stuff. For those of you who haven’t heard the moshe dyan joke it ends with a parrot making wanking type gestures while holding one wing over one eye because they had tied his beak shut to prevent him using his only phrase….
http://www.talklikeapirateday.com/translate/index.php
And you could also use this handy link….
Avast Ye scurvy landlubber!
Nothing to do with pirates, but have you heard –
Renault have just unveiled their new people carrier.
It’s so spacious you don’t even notice your kids in
the boot! It’s called the Renault McCann.
It’s not like you didn’t ask for it, Twenty.
Anyway, there was/is nothing glamorous or romantic about pirates – they were the Westies of their day.
They were little white dogs whose poo gets stuck to their fur quite a lot?
“Nothing to do with pirates, but have you heard –
Renault have just unveiled their new people carrier.
It’s so spacious you don’t even notice your kids in
the boot! It’s called the Renault McCann.”
If there’s a single human being in the world that hasn’t already heard that joke I’d like to meet them
Sorry, I only heard it this morning. I’ve been away.
Have I missed any more McCann jokes?
I thought my Westies comparison was pretty much air-tight, but it seems I was wrong.
considering twenty’s pirattitude, friday’s post (world gratitude day) should be interesting…
Thanks Porridge
Peadar: What’s the plus side of a costly spring holiday in Portugal?
A cheaper christmas.
Porridge
Can I copyright the first post on Friday
Thanks a fucking lot……
I hadn’t heard the renault joke, will I go straight to hell for laughing at it ?
My Grannies pie rates about 6 in the taste factor. I think its the wild parrot she uses to make the gravy, let me explain for any sensitive fowl lovers that the parrot is not an ingredient but a dab hand at making the gravy, but strangely shite at flying.
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off”.
“Wow!” said the seaman. “What about the hook”?
“Well…”, replied the pirate, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off.”
“Incredible!” remarked the seaman. “How did you get the eye patch”?
“A seagull dropping fell into my eye”, replied the pirate.
“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.
“Well…” said the pirate, “..it was my first day with the hook.”
Nothing wrong with wooden legs. Its more fun when you get your leg over. I’m a 21st century pirate cos mine is aluminium!! AAARRRGH !!
Twenty, can’t wait to see what we’re not supposed to do in your post tomorrow! And before you say it, let me say it for you
“You’re a cunt Celia.
Cheers
Twenty”
Hey – am I barred for obscenities? My comments aren’t showing up. Arrggh!
Em, okay they are.
Twenty, what’s the heads up on what we’re not supposed to bring up on tomorrow’s post?
Don’t know what the collective noun for pirate multimedia collection is but…
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=OfficialWench
Sorry.
Talk?
Deeds. Not words.
I want a day called, “Act Like A Pirate” and have everyone go to their neighbor next door and steal their lawn furniture, garden gnomes, and children’s bicycles.
Oh, and kick the neighbor’s dog, too.
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Joan, can i be your dog?
Joan, say woof if you agree, woof woof if you dont agree, woof woof woof if you want time to think about it and here boy if you want me to jump on/in your bed.
What do you call a pirate that sleeps with teenage girls?
Arrgh Kelly!
That’s one’s actually quite funny.