Yesterday, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I had to use a pen and paper to write some stuff. Normally you’d tip-tap away on the keyboard (and can I just heartily recommend the new Apple keyboard to anyone. It’s fuckin’ awesome. It makes you type better and it makes the stuff you type even better because it’s flowing with love from your fingers) but this time I had no choice.
What I noticed was that after a few minutes my hand became quite sore and that my handwriting has gone to complete shite. My previously calligraphic script has now become all scrawly and like that of a person that writes with a pen strapped to their forehead.
If you write a letter to somebody these days it’s generally typed and printed so you get out of practice. Even envelopes are printed on the ‘puter. The only time I sign my name is when I’m waiting for a credit or laser card receipt and beyond that it’s the odd simplex crossword when I can be arsed to buy the Irish Times, which is about once a year.
Do you write anymore? What’s your handwriting like when you do and why does my wrist ache so (no smart comments, fuckers)?
I can answer your question, without any hint of facetiousness, or reference to your oninism.
Your wrists ache for one reason only… You’re a cunt!
OK?
I worry for the future – who will do the headstones?
I have little black note books for writing shopping lists, plans for work stuff and preparatory notes for breathtakingly witty blog comments.
As I’m also unable to read my own writing, we tend to eat mostly dog food, my career has gone to shit, and my blog comments are about as witty and insightful as this one.
I need a sexy secretary to ‘Take a note, Helen..’
Mmmmm, sexretary.
You write credit card receipts?! What happened to chip and pin… god damn it, I’m a product of this twenty first century consumer society.
Hope you never break your arm!
I broke my right arm last summer and had to use the left hand to write. Weird!
I also produced a Powerpoint Presentation with text, all done with the left hand!
Had a play with the new keyboard recently and thought it was fantastic, so figure if I buy the keyboard then I should also buy the computer to go with it, cos it would be stupid not to, like!
I used to write – manually – all the time, millions of words, constantly jotting and scribbling down nuggets, I say nuggets, of goldeny wisdom.
The other day I had to write a parking-related note to stick on the dashboard, about 10 words is all, and it was just embarassing. Looked like the frail, uncertain meanderings of a really old person. Then I thought “ah fuck it” and stuck it there anyway.
On an unrelated topic, just when you thought P*** D****** couldn’t be any more of a cunt than he currently is, I see he banged a line of posh into his new-born kitten who, unsurprisingly, was then taken ill. Brilliant.
Twenty you are not alone I had a dozen attempts at writing a letter the other day and was disgusted with myself – writing with the feet couldn’t have been any worse.
Dunno about the new Mac keyboard but anything by AppleMac is wonderful!
I broke my right arm last summer and had to use the left hand to write. Weird!
See, if I did that people would say ‘Why have I just received a letter from a retarded 3 year old?’
Only when I’m putting your email address on the back of a beermat for some fat minger I met down the pub.
The things you do for me. The things you do…
Try a fountain pen. I suspect your wrist aches with book-related rsi. Plead that rather than hyperactive onanism, or conanism as we call it hereabouts.
Perhaps you could try taking cod liver oil dearie
For filling out forms, I write in Helvetica Neue 11pt all-caps with a black Pilot V5 pen.
For everything else, there’s Macintosh.
how do you scrawl with your head?
I’m exactly the same Twenty, people used to commend me for my handwriting and I recently wrote to my sister who thought I’d had one of my children write while I dictated…
haven’t written anything since they took my crayons away – and they were sooo tasty
I get asked to sign women’s breasts all the time.
I have the laziest handwriting in the history of the world. It’s not quite “doctor” bad, but it’s getting there.
I write the songs…
You must be a proud man Twenty – I see your daughter has got 4 MOBO nominations!
the social welfare make us write are names for the dole, so i am very Good at my signature, see people on the dole do work for there money ,and your wrist hurts twenty from tugging day and night over Amy winehouse i know your a fan,,
Perhaps your wrist ache is Carpal Tunnel Syndrome???? I’d stick with the keyboard; writing’s over-rated anyway!
Depite all manner of posh pens, my handwriting looks like I’ve suffered a stroke. And it’s getting worse with age. I’m totally computer dependent and even use Lucida Handwriting font to fake my signature. Yay for the Mac keyboard.
I type quite a bit every single day, seldom write now, but when I do my handwriting is very nice thanks. It disimproved in college taking lecture notes, but seems to have improved with less use.
Get a tablet. Write but stay digital. Ha, digital!
Strangley enough I dont do much typing, except to respond to shite on the interweb
when I’m pricing anything for customers its generaly off of a set of plans so its easier to write/draw with a biro than to try to type it all into a computer.
I have a secretary for any actual typing of stuff like letters etc
I NOW ONLY WRITE IN CAPITALS OUT OF SHEER EMBARRASSMENT FOR THE JOINED UP CHICKEN SCRAWL THAT MY HANDWRITING HAS BECOME. IT’S A BIT SLOWER BUT AT LEAST IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE FUCKING SANSKRIT.