Swear count
Apologies for the many short posts yesterday but I really am beavering away on the manuscript. I’m probably going to be a bit obsessed until I send it in but what can you do? It’s an 18 hour a day part of my life.
One interesting thing is a feature in the program I’m using to write it. Not being a fan of Microsoft Word or the scabby, slow as fuck open source alternative, I’m using a thing called Scrivener which is very nice and I would recommend it to anyone using a Mac. As well as the word count (come on, come on), there’s a ‘word frequency’ section so I thought I’d tot up the swear word usage up to this point.
Curse Count
arse – 13
arsehole – 1
bastard -6
bollocks -7
cecilia – 1
cock – 3
cockbadger – 1
cunt – 25
cunting – 1
cunts – 18
flaps – 2
fuck – 45
fucked – 4
fucker – 9
fuckers – 6
fucking – 60
fuckpig – 1
fuuuuuuuck – 1
gee – 4
gobshite – 3
harney – 1
jesus – 34
piss – 11
prick – 2
rice – 22
shit – 19
shitface – 1
shite – 15
shitebag – 1
shitehawk – 1
twats – 3
wank – 1
wanky – 1
The rest is just pure fucking poetry. Not literally, of course. Poems are gay.
August 21st, 2007 at 12:21 am
I see the cunts outnumber the pricks by 12.5 to one. That’s some fucking world yer living in 20….
August 21st, 2007 at 12:39 am
I would have expected more cock too. Shitehawk is of course genius, been using it since I was a lad. Ah happy days, just me and ol shitehawk messing about with a football.
cecilia – made me giggle….
August 21st, 2007 at 12:41 am
you left out cunt-bubble it is a favorite of mine feel free to use it in your book, what is a cunt bubble ,ie ;any T,D
any civil servant
any one from r,t,e
the ban garda who fined me €60 last week for {forgetting }cough ,to tax my car
August 21st, 2007 at 1:24 am
Where does beaver stand ?
August 21st, 2007 at 2:38 am
Only three twats in your life? Lucky, that.
August 21st, 2007 at 7:10 am
cunt – 25
jesus – 34
Is this a religious book? Are you planning on an edition being published by Veritas?
August 21st, 2007 at 7:32 am
What about D section, Donegal, Derry, Down!
August 21st, 2007 at 7:36 am
Oh, I see you have alresdy covered it, under cunts!
August 21st, 2007 at 7:38 am
What ?
Not 1 Ballbag, Poxbottle or Geebag
You can’t win the MAN BOOKER prize without them
You couldn’t even win a PULITZER
not even if you were a septic tank
August 21st, 2007 at 8:28 am
Not one geebag.
You fucking heathen.
August 21st, 2007 at 8:39 am
What Johnny5 said. Shit, now I feel so unclean.
And where is the cuntbutler? Is the library with a smoking gun? Get him would you.
August 21st, 2007 at 8:41 am
I’m saving geebag for the epic finale.
August 21st, 2007 at 8:43 am
Was thinking the same as Yacuncha as well, but then I see the fuck and fucking count is way higher. You don’t want to those religious people to replicate that much, do you?
August 21st, 2007 at 8:52 am
Sweet Twenty,I’ll have 10 copies
August 21st, 2007 at 10:40 am
Alliteration?
That Blank Chequebook Bollix Bertie
August 21st, 2007 at 11:12 am
Well done Twenty I can see that you’re a real swear wordsmith -ah’ bum! That’s one you have omitted?
August 21st, 2007 at 11:22 am
Pretty impressive list Twenty. It’ll be even more impressive when you finish the second paragraph.
August 21st, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Well that blows the idea of giving a copy to grannymar for her birthday – if she read it then she’d only end up cuffing you across the head at the next blog awards…
August 21st, 2007 at 12:13 pm
“Cecilia”…?
Is this a new addition to the cussword lexicon or are you talking about your ex?
August 21st, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Thats some good cursin right there Twenty..I bet that was just the dedication at the start of the book though…
August 21st, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Careful Mad Dog – the Ahern girls brng back terible meemories for Twenty – being thrown over by Georgina for Nicky Byrne was bad enough, but Cecilia pushed him right to the edge!
August 21st, 2007 at 1:30 pm
If you’re using geebag, I want royalties as I invented the word.
August 21st, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Frankly, I’m disappointed there are no piss-flaps, minge, gooch or shite-pipes in there somewhere. Nevermind, I’ll probably still flick through a copy at some stage.
August 21st, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Its sounding better and better each day.
August 21st, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Rice ??????
August 21st, 2007 at 2:33 pm
“I would have expected more cock too.” Oh reeeaally Manuel? The things you learn..
August 21st, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Johnny 5 and FMC are after my swearword heart with “geebag”. “Nob jockey” is also a favourite of mine.
August 21st, 2007 at 3:50 pm
got to have some nice compound curses, such as cocksmokingcuntbustinghorseflaps – always guaranteed to impress. if you’re looking for tips, there’s that toll trolls thing going round.
August 21st, 2007 at 5:28 pm
I was once visiting a friend and his sister answered th door… The two were obviously mid-argument over somehting or other…
As she opened the door she whas simultaneoulsy screaming at him in the next room “….and you watch your goddamn motherfucking language you bastard…”
She then turned to us and smiled sweetly and just said “Hi – come in…”
August 21st, 2007 at 6:20 pm
Maggot: Heh, thanks for the advice. I won’t mention the C word ever again on these pages.
August 21st, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Westlife is a no no as well Mad Dog.
August 21st, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Westlife?
Que? Dare I ask…?
Wait a minute, I’ve just Googled it/them. A wanky, heinously popular band from Sligo it seems. Living in Seattle means that, mercifully, I’ve been spared this drivel. Thank you, Maggot, for updating me on popular culture. Twenty, sorry but the discussion on this lot in now closed.
August 22nd, 2007 at 9:21 am
Twenty
Do you ever get “writers bl…………
August 22nd, 2007 at 9:25 am
Not very of
August 22nd, 2007 at 6:11 pm
It would be good if you could export it to Excel, then you could make a nice pie chart or bar graph out of the data.
September 11th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
[...] a cunt that they will be as good a writer as he is. They are best ignored. Twenty actually does a swear count in a book he is writing, which seems to prove a point [...]
September 11th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
[...] a cunt that they will be as good a writer as he is. They are best ignored. Twenty actually does a swear count in a book he is writing, which seems to prove a point [...]