Snail v Lawnmower

Posted on | July 18, 2007 | 13 Comments

There can be only one winner. Take that you house carrying, boggly-eyed cunt.

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13 Responses to “Snail v Lawnmower”

  1. Littlesapling
    July 18th, 2007 @ 6:05 pm

    a score each way on the mower.

  2. size ten
    July 18th, 2007 @ 8:03 pm

    Take the lawnmower out of the arena, and you have, Bollocks v Mollusc?

  3. fatmammycat
    July 18th, 2007 @ 8:15 pm

    GARY!

  4. Johnny5
    July 18th, 2007 @ 8:19 pm

    It’s too wet to be mowing the fuckin lawn ye mad yoke.

  5. porridge
    July 18th, 2007 @ 8:31 pm

    twenty only recently bought a lawnmower – used to do it this way (bastardface has grown since this photo was taken)

    http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/51/88/22618851.jpg

  6. manuel
    July 18th, 2007 @ 9:05 pm

    mmmmmmm escargot and salad……

  7. problemchildbride
    July 19th, 2007 @ 8:11 am

    You utter inhuman bastard! The world shall know of your unspeakable brutality. Fmc and I will perform accusatory dirges outside your place of residence and, after our pamphlet campaign, mothers will quicken their step and bustle their wide-eyed children past you in the street, muttering “Monster blah blah murderer blah blah Gary was a brave snail…faced the mower just like that student in Tiananmen Square…power-crazed fiend etc.” Soon you will be Twenty NoMates. Not even Stinking Pete will be able to look you in your diabolical eye. And lo, Gary shalt be avenged! Verily, like.

  8. Lung the Younger
    July 19th, 2007 @ 8:36 am

    A motor mower for shell-crushing efficiency, a manual rotary mower for that satisfying-splat personal touch but for sheer elegance and mollusk-popping perfection, you can’t beat the old Flymo.

    What was your instrument of lawn death Twenty. The scythe perchance?

  9. problemchildbride
    July 19th, 2007 @ 8:42 am

    We’ll be round your’s too, Young Lung! Just see if we’re not!

  10. Twenty Major
    July 19th, 2007 @ 8:58 am

    I used a chainsaw, Lung. It hadn’t been cut for a while.

    Sam – don’t worry, it didn’t suffer for too long.

  11. O'Reilly
    July 19th, 2007 @ 11:01 am

    Whatever you do don’t rub salt in the wound.

  12. fatmammycat
    July 20th, 2007 @ 11:19 am

    What Sam said, Gary was a noble beast, who-inexplicably- meowed a lot. A true friend to the little yellow squared sponge in all of us, and you, Major, have made the world a duller place with your indiscriminate mowing.
    Fare thee well Gary, may your next house be on heavenly coasters!

  13. Lawn Mower Reviews
    July 26th, 2007 @ 5:44 am

    Lanw Mower Reviews

    Tips on choosing the right lawn mower …

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