Not so great for Great
Posted on | July 4, 2007 | 28 Comments
You might remember a few weeks back me talking about Great Agbonlahor whose family was challenging the deportation order against them. I figured because his name was so totally awesome he should be allowed stay but now it seems the family have dropped the case and will be put into old tea chests next week and shipped back to Nigeria.
Can’t we just send the family and keep him? It just doesn’t seem fair.
Yesterday I had to go the post office to get a passport renewal form as my old one is about to expire.
“Hello Posty, one passport form, please!”, I said to the very young Chinese post office bloke.
“Here you go”, he said.
So I took myself off and got some pictures taken (yes, I look like a devestatingly handsome serial killer) and brought the whole lot back home. I searched the house for a pen of some kind (it’s been so long since I worked in any kind of office that the stationary supplies I used to order for me alone are almost gone) and sat down at the kitchen table.
Well, fuck me if the whole thing wasn’t in sanskrit or some kind of language using a cyrillic alphabet. On closer inspection it turned out to be Irish.
What the fuck was an ‘ainm’ or a ‘Céadainm’? What could ‘Do UPSP’ mean? And how the fuck was I supposed to figure out what ‘Dáta Breithe’ meant?
Naturally I went straight back to the post office and demanded a new passport form in a language I could understand. The spread of Irish is dangerous, you know. Look at all those people who lived in Dingle and found themselves completely and utterly lost when they changed the name to Irish (something like ‘An Dingindangen’). Next we’ll be getting news in Irish and they’ll probably set up some kind of Irish TV channel.
For now ta mé ag dul go dti an siopa agus rith mé ar nós na Ford Orion.
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28 Responses to “Not so great for Great”
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July 4th, 2007 @ 9:18 am
I’d fuck Peg Sayers silly
July 4th, 2007 @ 9:44 am
Yeah, I used to think that poem she wrote was hilarious when i was 6… “I wish i’d looked after me teeth”
What’s that got to do with Twenty’s passport though?
July 4th, 2007 @ 9:46 am
YEs recently I had a similar experience with A lebanese form, Irish is hard enough but what the fuck dose this mean.
And you have to read right to left.
تاريخيا ً كان مطار رفيق الحريري الدولي – بيروت بوّابة لبنان الأساسية. عند إدراك الحكومة اللبنانية للإمكانيات التجارية المستقبلية وتوقعات المسافرين، دعت في العام 1996 مقدمي عطاءات دوليين لإدارة عمليات مناطق المبيعات بالمفرد على قاعدة مجلس الأمناء الإدارية في مطار رفيق الحريري الدولي – بيروت.
July 4th, 2007 @ 9:47 am
It means you officially died in 1996, MacD. Did nobody tell you?
July 4th, 2007 @ 10:17 am
Steer clear of that Gaelic. Load of cobblers.
July 4th, 2007 @ 10:58 am
You’re a closet Irish Speaker Twenty, I know (is mise Íosa Chríost, an fear mór sin sa spéir) I know all my son, so just admit it
Dála an scéil tá tú ag déanamh an iomarca glacaireachta (wanking) na laethanta seo, cuir stad leis ar feadh nóiméad maith an fear, le do thoil!
le meas
Íosa Chríost
Bóthar Mac Dé
Scamall a Naoi
Neamh
July 4th, 2007 @ 11:05 am
Aililiú arsa Fiche, agus rith sé abhaile ar nós na Bora.
July 4th, 2007 @ 11:25 am
Ni Thuigim
July 4th, 2007 @ 11:38 am
First day of secondary school.
Irish teacher: What’s your name?
Me: Berties 3rd Nipple.
Irish teacher: No, its An Triur Nippleach do Bhertigh
Me: No it’s Ber..
Whallop!!!!!
Fuck Irish
July 4th, 2007 @ 11:48 am
What do you call Gaelic speakers who eat horses and donkeys?
Oscillators and copulaters.
July 4th, 2007 @ 12:16 pm
Iosa Chriost,
If “deanamh an iomarca glacaireachta” means wanking in Irish,
Does “Micheal Mac Dughaill” mean wanker?
July 4th, 2007 @ 12:30 pm
It’s all Greek to me!…but on the subject of filling forms in, any goverment or official type form is a f*cking nightmare to complete these days as they want to know Meg’s arse.
July 4th, 2007 @ 12:37 pm
Scorchio my child, bail ó Dhia ort, it means too much wanking.
Twenty, bail ó Dhia air, has being going at it with vigour as of late.
le meas aríst
ÍOSA, Mac Dé
July 4th, 2007 @ 12:53 pm
Iosa Chriost : Efkc fof oyu awtt !
July 4th, 2007 @ 12:54 pm
Fluent Dysphasia, an ea?
;-)
An bhfuil cead agam teacht thar n-ais mar sin, a Fhiche? (Do chuiris an ruaig ormsa an uair eile)
July 4th, 2007 @ 2:42 pm
Dul mo phud means Suck my big fat juicy one.
July 4th, 2007 @ 2:50 pm
What?! No mention of Beverly Cunting Flynn returning to the Dail in her big ass Toyota SUV? Standards are slipping, me thinks!
July 4th, 2007 @ 4:52 pm
Irish is for leprechauns seeking grants to live in a place called Gayle Talked, Connemara, which may or may not exist.
In Ireland we speak the Queen’s English dammit.
Oh, and Polish.
July 4th, 2007 @ 4:53 pm
Most of that shit is unpronounce-able!
My baby is trying to poop and it’s quite amusing.
July 4th, 2007 @ 5:43 pm
Gaelic sounds like Gay Lick which is totally fucking gay.
That is all.
July 4th, 2007 @ 8:21 pm
Extension of Gaeilge joke above:
Teacher asks Child 1 to give word in Irish. “Ossilate” goes the Child. WHats that, sez Teacher: its someting that eats donkeys. Child 2 goes “Copulate, miss, its something that eats horses”. So, Child 3 sez “my irish word is Vibrator, miss. Dunno what it is, but me sister sez it eats batteries”
July 4th, 2007 @ 8:23 pm
What’s your first language though? All the confusion seems to have fucked with your devEstatingly amusing musings on stationAry and the like. My pens tend to be motionless too though i suppose.
July 4th, 2007 @ 8:59 pm
talking in tongues ?
July 4th, 2007 @ 11:34 pm
God speaks Gaelic.
July 5th, 2007 @ 12:41 am
“Tar amach! Lamh amhain” *whack, whack, whack* “Lamh eile” *whack,whack,whack*…”Suigh sios.” First Irish I ever learnt….
July 5th, 2007 @ 1:32 am
without the irish language we’d be just another cuntload of english, or, even worse, americans, most of whom can’t even speak english properly.
July 5th, 2007 @ 9:23 am
So much anger…so much
Jesus weeps
July 5th, 2007 @ 10:47 am
Why is Irish so strongly associated with violence ?
A friend of mine wearing a UDA T shirt got a right kicking in Donegal gailtalk because he was singing in English.