Monthly Archives: July 2007

Today I saw a blind man at an art exhibition. He was being led around by a woman as he clutched his white stick.

Dirty Dave has always wanted to be a superhero. He likes their powers and the way they protect the small guys from the baddies (but only after a few of the small guys are killed along the way). The other … Continue reading →

TV company, New York City. Two men in sharp suits and even sharper haircuts sit, head in hands, at a glossy table. Exec 1 – “Look. We have to come up with something. They said since Maximilian arm-rotored that woman … Continue reading →

“Twenty”, asked Dirty Dave, “who would you have preferred to be out of the following?” “Debbie Gibson or Tiffany?” “Erm, Debbie Gibson?” “Right. Everyone says that. Anyway. Nik Kershaw or Limahl?” “Kershaw.” “Why?” “Who the fuck wants to be called … Continue reading →

Jesus Christ, did you see that thing in the papers about that bloke that did that thing to that other bloke? For a start I can’t believe a bloke who came from where the first bloke lives could manage to … Continue reading →

A fat man with a fat dog sat on a park bench. The fat man was sweating heavily. It was summer and unusually hot. The fat dog lay at his feet panting. The walk up the hill from the monument … Continue reading →

“Jaysus”, said Dirty Dave, “I was just over in Spain at the weekend, seeing my lovechild Filthy Felipe, and it’s fucking roasting there. Why can’t we get that weather here?” “That”, said Jimmy, “is the fault of Albert Flynn”. “What? … Continue reading →

I like the way he thought he was being really clever. I like the way he lied and tried to make alibis. I like the way he contaminated the forensic evidence. I like the part that something as simple as … Continue reading →

I saw an ad for this thing in Ron’s last night as he had the golf channel on. He’s a bit of a golf buff and he hates Tiger Woods. Did you see him walking up the fairway with enormous … Continue reading →

Friends of Amy Winehouse are worried about her. Worried pals have signed up to an intervention group on internet site Facebook – reports the Sun. Fucking hell. “Our friend is obviously losing her mind, suffering with mental problems, possibly drug … Continue reading →