Germans are cool
Posted on | June 27, 2007 | 42 Comments
Not only do Germans start all the best wars they’ve now banned Tom Cruise from filming there because he’s a Scientologist and they reckon Scientologists are crazy loons.
Hard to argue with them, really, and I think more countries should ban Hollywood stars. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Scientologist or anything else some random bannings would keep them on their toes. Headlines I’d like to see:
Italy has banned Kevin Spacey as late night dog walking around the Spanish steps is not permitted.
Malaysia has banned Lindsey Lohan as it’s believed a rare breed of fruit fly, which could decimate local crops, breeds in her gee and as she doesn’t wear knickers they could get out any time.
Martin Landau prevented from visiting Easter Island in case he stands still beside one of the statues and then it looks like he’s disappeared because his big long face is just like one of the statues.
China have refused Will Smith a visa to travel to the country for his new film because he’s black. Only joking! We banned him because he’s a jug-eared cunt.
These fuckers think they can swan in and out of a place in their trailers and private jets. This would teach them a valuable lesson. Namely, that … erm … they …er… need to …uhm… SHUT UP! That’s it. They need to shut the fuck up.
Dirty Dave was once banned from Coolock for trying it on with some local hardman’s daughter. This was last year. The daughter was 47.
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42 Responses to “Germans are cool”
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June 27th, 2007 @ 9:40 am
There are so many reasons to ban a Tom Cruise movie..frankly I’m surprised they chose to [alien]ate him because of his spacer religion.
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:00 am
Yawn.
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:04 am
Easter Ireland…
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:07 am
Just got out of bed Blarneyman?
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:27 am
All scientologists should be locked up. Seriously.
They’re completely fucking cracked.
If locking them up seems over the top, they should be able to take some sort of preventative measures. Like taking their kids off them. What hope has a kid got been brainwashed/raised by these fucking loony cunts.
Cruise even looks nuts these days. Weird fucking look in his eyes like he’s possessed. Definitely shouldn’t be allowed have kids. Shouldn’t even be allowed have a cat
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:27 am
Cheers, Sir Thomas.
Tired, Blarney?
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:36 am
It’s a little known fact that TC joined the cult in Dublin when he was shooting Farce and Away.
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:41 am
Has anyone ever been approached by the drones on Middle Abbey Street asking if they’d like a personality test?…I know is the oldest line in the book but I drew real satisfation a few years ago from answering the question with “no thanks, I have one”…its the little things.
I wonder how many times each day they get that reply.
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:50 am
Germans – never great on welcoming religions are they, also he’s gay so is in double trouble.
Wouldn’t be going into the showers in Germany if I was him, never know what might happen.
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:55 am
s’no different from sum big beardy bloke in the clouds wagging his finger at us from millenia ago, telling us that if we dont do as he says, he’ll get his mate in the hot place to sort us out. for ever.
we’re gettin a lota filmy types around here at the mo. makes a change from the spud-ugly millys and spides wandering around.
June 27th, 2007 @ 10:59 am
Scientology isn’t a religion.
Its a psychiatric condition
June 27th, 2007 @ 11:05 am
I never lost hope for the Germans, not even after The Hoff.
June 27th, 2007 @ 11:28 am
Residing in Malaysia I can not help but confirm 100% on the Lindsay Lohan thing … the poster campaign is in particular offensive.
June 27th, 2007 @ 11:36 am
I love Scientology. It just hilights how the fact that all religions are mental and how easy it is to make up a load of nonsense and have people follow it. Aliens from space… elephants with eight arms… making a woman from a rib. What’s the difference?
June 27th, 2007 @ 11:52 am
You’re under their spell John B.
June 27th, 2007 @ 11:55 am
Tired and bored.
June 27th, 2007 @ 11:56 am
Maybe you need a hobby of some kind.
June 27th, 2007 @ 12:20 pm
They should just ban any organization that makes up stupid words by combining two other words. For example;
France should ban the Cosmofucianists
India should put an embargo on the Celestialogues
Ecuadovia should have nothing to do with the Karmachameleons
And of course, Outer Monghana shouldn’t even let the 8th Day Catholithurgists off the plane.
This people with their makey-uppy words. Right cunts they are.
June 27th, 2007 @ 12:44 pm
Spoken like a true Twentologist, Lung.
June 27th, 2007 @ 12:58 pm
Too tired from too many hobbies and bored from work. Plus your blog doesn’t help in the “yawn” factor.
June 27th, 2007 @ 1:00 pm
Ahh, well then my advice to you would be to fuck off and stop reading it.
June 27th, 2007 @ 1:06 pm
About 3 months ago, myself and my mate ransacked the offices of the church of Scientiology in Perth. WE were barred from the CBD for 24 hours but we will be revered as heroes for all eternity.
June 27th, 2007 @ 1:06 pm
PartyPoker is knee deep in Germans – the cunts.
June 27th, 2007 @ 1:13 pm
J5, you’ll be sorry when they whisk you away and probe you. Or maybe you won’t.
June 27th, 2007 @ 1:17 pm
Well done Jonny5. Did you get a smack at any of the mad cunts
June 27th, 2007 @ 1:33 pm
I believe that Germany’s specific reason for outlawing the scientologists isn’t that they’re looneytunes, but because they fraudulently extort money from their brainwashed flock in exchange for promoting them to the “next level” of scientific conscience or somesuch bollocks, despite calling themselves a religion.
Personally, I wouldn’t let any reason stand in the way of banning Tom Cruise from entering the country.
June 27th, 2007 @ 1:35 pm
FMC, Why the fuck do you think we did it in the first place?
Silly girl.
June 27th, 2007 @ 1:45 pm
J5 ???
June 27th, 2007 @ 2:41 pm
But of course, how dastardly of you!
June 27th, 2007 @ 2:47 pm
We get to destroy the property of a shower of brainwashing shitehawks and get a large dose of anal pleasure thrown in for nowt.
Double Whammy.
June 27th, 2007 @ 3:36 pm
I really should but it’s car crash blogging.
June 27th, 2007 @ 3:38 pm
Commendable,I do feel however that you’ve supplied too much info as regards the anal pleasure dept.
June 27th, 2007 @ 3:51 pm
fan envy
June 27th, 2007 @ 4:28 pm
It’s safe to take a shower in Germany — unless your circumcised. Plus, your not gay if your getting probed by aliens.
June 27th, 2007 @ 7:08 pm
It’s only gay if you’re getting done by Graham Norton.
June 27th, 2007 @ 9:31 pm
one of my , alleged, friends gave the drones on middle abbey street my name and address
in 1984
the fuckers still write to me at my ma’s house
you’d think that in the afterlife she’d have told someone ?
June 27th, 2007 @ 11:50 pm
Like Twenty Major banned from Freisland cos’ he’s full of BULL :-)
June 28th, 2007 @ 3:11 am
Scientologist, a new religion/cult, they don’t believe in a super natural entity(as far as i know) but resent being denied the status of religion, don’t they know god is dead anyway. Anyway Tom Cruise is a cunt, and takes himself way too seriously for a midget.
June 28th, 2007 @ 11:20 am
Forgot to say it’ll take a lot more than banning Scientology to make Germans cool. Supercilious, sausage eating, Poland-invading cunts
June 28th, 2007 @ 10:07 pm
Sie werden lassen uns nie es vergessen, werden Sie? Mensch!!
June 29th, 2007 @ 5:55 pm
so can we ban peediddy and all the other wankers trapped in the closet?
Xenu is coming to get cha’
June 20th, 2008 @ 6:04 pm
Not true. we still got tom cruise on television programs..
(im from germany)
best wishes: Timme