All this suiciding
Posted on | June 20, 2007 | 64 Comments
Isn’t there a lot of talk about suicide at the moment. Like the Hula Hoop, Coca Cola ‘spinners’ (yoyos) and Panini football cards it appears to be the latest craze. Every time you turn on the news there’s somebody else who has drowned themself or hung themself or taken an overdose.
In Armagh three teenagers from the same school have hung themselves in the last month and a psychologist up there reckons it’s part of a wider pact involving up to 12 students. What the fuck is going on? I know Armagh is not exactly the Riviera but it’s hardly the worst place in the world to live (which is Callan in Co Kilkenny in case you were wondering).
Teenagers today have it much easier than we ever did. They have mobile phones, internet, MP3 players, XWiis and Playboxes, more disposable income and far more prospects than we had but they’re dropping like never before. Is it that material goods are the cause of their unhappiness? Are they just spending too much time online? Or are they just overly sensitive fannies who see it as the easy way out even though it causes so much pain and devastation for those they leave behind? I suspect the latter and it is, however you want to try justify it, one of the most selfish things anyone can do. And they don’t even have The Smiths.
I heard one news report suggesting that ‘the internet’ was responsible for some of the deaths. That sneaky fucking internet crawling out of their computers and making it look like suicide. I’m putting my computer to ‘no sneaky suicidey tricks’ before I go to bed tonight.
A campaign has been launched and a TV ad will feature a bloke who tried to commit suicide three times. I’ve talked about it before but you have to be pretty crap to fail at killing yourself three times. I bet most of us could get it right first time. Maybe it was his first failed attempt that spiralled him into depression and caused the other attempts. Some people are destined for crapness.
They need the campaign to mirror that film with Dudley Moore in it when he was an advertising executive sent to a mental asylum for some reason which I forget now but which was vital to the plot. He got the mentalists working on his campaigns and they got into the whole ‘honest advertising’ ideal. I don’t remember too many of them but I think there was one for Volvo which was ‘They’re boxy but safe!’.
Suicide campaigns need to be the same: ‘Today might be crap but tomorrow will be slightly less crap and the day after slightly less crap again’ or ‘If you do this you’re going to break your Mam’s heart and make her cry for years, you cunt’.
If you’re an orphan with no friends or family, not even a foster family who have cared for you, and you feel like killing yourself then go right ahead. Ultimately nobody is going to miss you but if you’re a 15 year old in school and you have parents and siblings and friends and you think you have no option but to do yourself in then think again. Don’t be a fucking stupid cunt and make your Mam cry and even your Dad cry, which is worse because nobody wants to see their Dad cry.
If you have problems with exams, fuck the exams. They’re practically worthless at the end of the day. If it’s girl trouble, fuck the girl (well, if the problem you’re having is not being able to fuck the girl then don’t read that the wrong way). There are loads of girls out there. Gay and can’t tell anyone? Don’t worry, everyone already knows because of your lisp and the way you dangle your hand when you talk. If you’ve been listening to too much Damien Rice then there’s nothing anyone can do to help you, sorry.
The best way to stop teenagers commiting suicide is to make them feel worse about doing it than the way they feel anyway and not talk to them like idiots.
Either that or we ban the sale of rope to anyone under the age of 18.
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64 Responses to “All this suiciding”
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June 20th, 2007 @ 12:14 am
You never hear of suicide epidemics in the Sudan, or Iraq, Ethiopia or any other bad spots in the world. Its a first world problem… we give young people playstations and TV and its these things that are raising the kids not the parents,
Parents give the little angels enough money to melt their head with cider, hash and buckfast so they can fuck themselves up and think about how crap things are, instead of wondering about where their next meal is coming from, or dying of AIDS or worrying about being intefered with by some fucker…. the point is people in the world with real survival problems don’t have the luxury of wondering if they’d be better of ending it all, they’re too friggin’ busy trying to stay alive…
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:23 am
I’d have shot you.
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:38 am
I remember in the mid nineties a Fianna Fail politician saying, without any hint of irony, that ‘the Internet must be stopped’.
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:38 am
haha
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:40 am
That ‘haha’ was for Michael and for irony who is referring to this. See the comments.
June 20th, 2007 @ 1:30 am
Seems that that a lot is expected of the kids and teenagers today. Apparently we all had it relatively good (ya think?) but the pushy parents want to make it sure that their offspring have it better than they had.
Kids today aren’t even allowed out to play now for fuck sake. They can’t even climb a tree without fear of a lawsuit.
Parent:
“If that tree wasn’t there then my child would never have climbed it.”
Judge:
“Fair enough, I award you the sum of €X thousand.”
It is no wonder the fuckers want to off themselves. No doubt the misery they leave behind would be nothing to the misery that some, if not most have had to endure.
Growing up and making mistakes, like falling out of trees and other daft things is part of life. Being a kid is a learning experience and all about learning right from wrong. But when you aren’t given that option to face up to that reality or to fuck about and make a moron of yourself, that is when reality kicks you firmly in the balls then you are well fucked.
Because when you eventually fuck up and do something stupid, Your parents might not be around to bail you out. Because you might make a mistake that you could have done years before and learned the lesson from but were never given the chance.
Sheltered kids and protective parents = fucked up kids, Fucked up kids = high suicide risk.
Reality is a bitch and parents should teach their kids about it and learn to appreciate their children for who they are and not what you would like them to be.
End result is that a lot of them lack the social interaction that most of us reading this here today would take for granted.
They end up meeting someone online who has similar thoughts and feelings and then the last resort comes in. They finally find a kindred spirit and it is to do one of the worst things possible and probably every parents worst night nightmare.
June 20th, 2007 @ 6:41 am
“whowantstoknow”…
yeah, but… I have a theory that we were all brought up the same. We were belted for crossing lines – by our parents… or by total strangers if they were the witnesses. Those were the days when cops could kick us in the arse ‘cos we MAY have done something, or if we hadn’t then we might do something in the future.
Then we grew up and decided our kids weren’t going to have the shit we had. No, we taught them their rights. If a cop kicks your arse, have them. Take the fucker to court and sue.
No stranger will belt my kids, fuck them too (and then sue them).
No hardship for our kids, no walking to the shops or cycling to their friends, c’mon, son, I’ll give you a lift.
And we reared a generation of kids that ended up fat and knowing more than us and if we touch them they’ll fuck us also.
So one or two or three commit suicide and we wonder why…
June 20th, 2007 @ 8:45 am
“Teenagers today have it much easier than we ever did. They have mobile phones, internet, MP3 players, XWiis and Playboxes, more disposable income and far more prospects than we had but they’re dropping like never before”
I don’t know if the fact that teens have all of these things is a factor but it does seem that even with these things, they don’t seem to be able to communicate.We didn’t even have a telephone for years when we were small but my parents were able to track me down in minutes..now a friend of mine is considering having a GPRS transmitter embedded in her childrens arms (not joking here).I feel sorry for kids and I’m completely behind the notion of letting them make their mistakes and break the odd bone and my own gut feeling is not to give in to the pressures from yen year olds for mobile phones and separate internet access..maybe that’ll hepl in getting them to actually speak to us about their problems..who knows?
June 20th, 2007 @ 8:56 am
Maybe their Mams are the problem, Twenty.
Everyone should be like FMC and just channel their Mam issues into inescapable blograge.
June 20th, 2007 @ 8:56 am
I think the biggest reason for so many suicides in Ireland now compared to the eighties is MASH. We all watched MASH and learned a valuable lesson.
Today there is no MASH and so these kids dont know what we knew….
June 20th, 2007 @ 9:14 am
‘If you do this you’re going to break your Mam’s heart and make her cry for years, you cunt’.
Thanks a lot, that’s me off suicide, you wanker.
June 20th, 2007 @ 9:31 am
Reciting decades of the rosary repeatedly is obviously the answer…
When did religion stop being the answer anyway?
June 20th, 2007 @ 9:41 am
now a friend of mine is considering having a GPRS transmitter embedded in her childrens arms (not joking here).
Fucking hell.
June 20th, 2007 @ 9:50 am
Apparently its easily done..its a bit 1984 for me though..
June 20th, 2007 @ 9:55 am
Increased level of suicides in Ireland in the last few years .. I don’t think so! You’ll find that there is an increased level of media interest in the topic and that Doctors are no longer prepared to certify suicidal deaths as farming accidents or other generic explanations. While technology has made huge leaps forward and there has been a commensurate increase in the number of techno-nerds, real per capita rates of suicide have shown no significant rate of increase over the last few decades. It will be some other revised topic next month … increase in the number of marital rapes perhaps (a new phenomenon in Ireland …. not…)
June 20th, 2007 @ 10:41 am
totally agree – kids are given the easy option in everything these days so why wouldnt they choose the easy option when it comes to a problem in life, rather than dealing with it?
im a ‘nortie’ meself and the suicide rate up here has always been pretty high, and it cant be blamed on the troubles anymore.
one of the biggest issues (up here anyway) is the culture of depression is cool – so they chat to people the same age and with the same limited experience in life as themselves, basically reinforcing their morbid views.
June 20th, 2007 @ 11:13 am
Nope Callan is not the worse place to live. the crappy little parishes around callan are worse. Callan looks metropolitan by comparison
June 20th, 2007 @ 11:25 am
is something up today…. why are people spouting so much sense, I’ve never been able to understand how protective parents are these days… it’s like they all have to be wrapped in a bubble.
But then in fairness if you read some of the shite on this site re Madeline McCann you’d be all in favour of GPRS tranmitters, in the indo two weeks ago there was some prick who wanted to GPRS his kids cos they were going on holiday to demonised Portugal, his point was that you can GPRS your Merc so why can’t you GPRS your children.
Because they’re humans you tosser, and if they never experience adventure or pain the only things they’ll learn about life is the Capital of Nigeria and the cheats on Sims 4.
And before you go asking me if i’m a parent, I had a lovely moment last night when my 14 yr old who went to the Gaelteacht on Sunday for the first time texted me to say she was having a ball, did not have time to call and would talk to me tomorrow.
Maybe i should check her GPRS implant or drive 3 hours to check she has not been accosted by a bogey man.
Or maybe i should be grateful she’s enjoying her own life, climbing up things she might even fall off.
June 20th, 2007 @ 11:34 am
Paul.Here here!
June 20th, 2007 @ 11:52 am
I blame the Celtic Tiger.
June 20th, 2007 @ 11:54 am
Celty the Suicide Tiger. Grrrrrr.
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:10 pm
You know, before people knew what apples where, nobody said’ Oh, I’d love an apple’.
I’ll be back with more wisdom later
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:19 pm
***k me, Twenty I really hate it when your rants are so spot on.
My pampered, over protected and much younger step brother did the very act himself a couple of years ago. His mammy is now (in my humble opinion) officially insane and he has basically split the family up. He is/was a lazy but harmless cunt who couldn’t be bothered to cope with reality, and debt, drugs, booze and a shit dead end job in a Britsh Gas call centre all contributed toward to his pathetic act.
If kids can’t be left to fall out of trees, not be allowed to eat Pepperoni Pizza every day because thats all the “wee dear likes”, shoot seagulls with air rifles, tell Father Mcshitstabber to stuff his cock up his own arse and understand that precious as they are, they are not really that important in the great scheme of things, there will continue to be an inexorable rise in their self-pitying numbers.
Oh yes and obviously blogs like yours don’t help either….
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:20 pm
You know -a bit of religion could help. I mean, theres no fucking harm in thinking that if you commit suicide (or “suicide yourself” as my italian girlfriend says), then you face a life of eternity in hell, brimstone, fire and a place full of rangers supporters.
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:23 pm
it’s not Celty’s fault, it’s an exploitation of fear by media and companies to leave most people afraid of thier shite of everything.
Last night after the news i saw three adverts.
1. Apparently there are 3 million bacteria every square inch or some such shite….and if you don’t use Flash 4 your kids will die roaring.
2. There’s some new 4 step programme to stop you looking 40 when you’re 55… now you can look 35 when you’re 55 and the whole country will want to ride you.
3. Even in the summer your children are vunerable… fact…so if you don;’ give them elcasai immuniatas (for fucks sake) in the form of Danone they’ll die roaring there on the beach.
add that to the paranoia over Maddy and the other 2 girls in england with the beckham shirts…and is it any fecking wonder the world is in a state of advanced paranoia.
by the way, while your reading this burglars are breaking into your house, now if you had an Eircom phonewatch system, burglars would never break in…
Cunts…. Eircom… not the burglars.
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:25 pm
On a serious note – now that I’m thinking about it – my 1st cousin did the deed. He was in treatment alot for schizophrenia. We had them over for dinner one christmas – and it was heart breaking watchiung him struggle with himself and try to, well, act normal with us.
He was well aware how much he had deterioated since we were kids playing in Lahinch. I know this much – he fought it very hard, and he fought the voices in his head (yes, apparently it is true) everyday.
He gave up at 30. No one was really angry with him. Just plain sad.
I really hope he doesn’t go to a place full of rangers fans. He was a class act when he was alive.
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:28 pm
I agree
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:29 pm
Yeah, suicide’s a load of old bollocks.
For the record, the movie Twenty’s on about is Crazy People. The line is ‘They’re boxy, but they’re good!’
There’s a poster for a horror movie in it as well – ‘This movie is so scary it’ll fuck you up for the rest of your life.’ Excellent. Shame the rest of the movie was shite.
To be fair, there are far higher mental health problems in the young ‘uns today, which is slowly being attributed to cannabis. Before you pounce on me and say we all smoked cannabis and we’re fine… We’re not. I can name five good mates who are fucked right up now and the likely cause is smoking too much fucking pot. Research is now suggesting that if there is any genetic predisposition toward mental illness, getting repeatedly stoned off your tits will probably bring it out, while without the tits-offing it could easily have stayed dormant your whole life.
So there. Just saying it’s a possible factor – in England, pot is both far more widely used and more widely available now than when I was a teenager, and the NHS can’t cope with the rising numbers of mentlaist teenagers. And I’m not talking about people who are a bit upset and confused and need a ickle hug – I’m talking about full-on schizophrenia and depression.
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:40 pm
Could they not just kill themselves in “Second Life” and be done with it?
Or have a wank? everything seems much better after a good old fashioned wank.
Pathe
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:41 pm
I meant to say “pathetic cunts” but my laptop has a mind of it’s own.
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:45 pm
Bagerdaddy,
if you take any drug to excess its gonna fuck you up.
that includes booze and fags.
there’s nothing wrong with moderation.
As far as teens topping themselves It’s always gone on ,
Maybe more so now , but like others have said the way society is now, if something is difficult or painful it is to be avoided.
Putting chips in kids to track them is over the top.
Leaving 3 kids alone in an apartment while you go for a feed is criminal neglect.
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:49 pm
Austo: ur so right. actually im feelin a bit down now… i’ll be back in 5…
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:54 pm
You’ll go blind
June 20th, 2007 @ 12:55 pm
Howdo, Scorchio.
Just realised the way I wrote that sounds like I meant excessive use, and that’s not what I meant. Some people are fucked after a few spliffs, it seems – it’s just a question of the predisposition. So I don’t think moderation applies to pot and mental health problems. Totally agree with what you’re saying, excepting pot.
Chips in kids and controlling parents is fucking mental and no mistake, I’m not arguing against any part of that at all. Just saying that a wee smoke might account for at least some of the rise in suicides in young pups.
That and Pop Idol.
June 20th, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
i was in lahinch a few years ago and this young lad had climbed to the edge of a cliff and was threatening to kill himself. loads of people gathered and he was talked out of it. then, while trying to come back from the cliff edge, he fell. never mind your failed suicides, think about the people who succeed after changing their minds. poor stupid cunts.
June 20th, 2007 @ 1:41 pm
I have no idea why so many teenagers want to top themseleves.
But it does in some ways fit in with the overly dramatic way that teenagers now see their lives.
Everything is so over the top and they think their the centre of the universe. Its the ultimate attention grabbing exercise.
Most probably don’t realise the reality of what there doing and I reckon 99% probably cange their mind when its to late.
June 20th, 2007 @ 1:44 pm
themselves
June 20th, 2007 @ 1:52 pm
But I know loads of Damien Rice fans, why haven’t they committed suicide?
June 20th, 2007 @ 1:58 pm
Probably just waiting for the most dramatic moment, boredofficegirl.
June 20th, 2007 @ 1:59 pm
Mr Whippy was found dead in his van last week. They found him lying on the floor of his van…he’d topped himself.
June 20th, 2007 @ 2:04 pm
Why has Damien Rice not committed suicide?
June 20th, 2007 @ 2:05 pm
Well there are plenty of Suicide bombers in the middle east and they have fuck all to live for so the theory thats its all the trapings of modern life is out the window.
Maybe twenty was right about the women thing, maybe Irish boys think they are Muslim and that they will get virgins if they commit suicide.
And the Mash thing ….
June 20th, 2007 @ 2:08 pm
MacDara’s M*A*S*H theory of suicide. They’ll be running a degree course in that in Trinners next year…
June 20th, 2007 @ 2:14 pm
In all honesty one of of the major contributors is folk not being able to talk about shit. North Kerry had the highest rate of suicide in the whole of Europe a few years back. Now, being originally from the place I can tell you it isn’t exactly the sort of place where people open up. Even talking shite isn’t something that’s really done there.
Generalising of course, but there’s something to it.
That and there being fuck all to do.
June 20th, 2007 @ 2:38 pm
wooo! that was more than 5 mins – doesnt time fly when ur havin fun….
s’true about the dramatics, but thats not specific to this teen generation. hate to say it, but its probably just a fashion thing…
June 20th, 2007 @ 2:43 pm
As Gomaith point out having fuck all to do is another problem.
Little bastards aren’t allowed to get a part time job now until they are 16 or something. You can’t even impart the basics like if you want something you must work for it until it is too late and the little cunts are beyond giving a shit. Mainly because up until that point they have been given everything on a plate. The vast majority don’t even walk to school because they are not allowed.
Our first baby is due in November and I’m seriously thinking of shipping herself and the baby over to Poland because society here seems to be going beyond a joke as far as behavioral and child development is concerned.
And it is a lot cheaper over there too now that I come to think of it. Hmm. I wonder.
June 20th, 2007 @ 3:55 pm
It’s extreme teenage rebellion. They only do it to piss their parents off.
June 20th, 2007 @ 4:30 pm
It’s the damn emos again. They’re a miserable bunch of fuckwits who seem to embrace depression and the theory that the world doesn’t ‘get’ them. Lousy flightless birds.
June 20th, 2007 @ 4:33 pm
excellent post twenty, spot on. i live in a village and there’ve been 6 suicides in the last 2 years, all twentysomething men. here, i think its to do with not talking about stuff and definitely being overprotected.
June 20th, 2007 @ 4:40 pm
“Lousy flightless birds.” – heh.
June 20th, 2007 @ 5:33 pm
You know – the amount of young men who are topping themselves is scary. I’ve heard much of it is due to the insecurity many men feel in the modern world about their functiuon in the world. You know, the old Man earns the bread, the woman makes the home, as was the case for many of us, is gone.
If women were throwing themselves off cliffs, or hanging themselves they’d be a fucking riot in the papers and parliment and all that stuff.
The way emotional issues and men are treated in this country is shit. Fuck sake, even the family courts in a dicvorce give half of the fathers money and gives it to the mother, she nearly always gets the house AND, how many men get custodity?
No wonder young men are topping themselves, when they are no longer seen as the bread winner and on top of that not seen as emotionally capeable of being as good a partent as a woman.
June 20th, 2007 @ 6:32 pm
“now a friend of mine is considering having a GPRS transmitter embedded in her childrens arms (not joking here)….”
I think they mean a “GPS” (Global Positioning System) rather than “GPRS” (General Packet Radio Service) which is the wireless standard that your mobile phone uses when you want to surf the internet or send an MMS.
But I digress….they are a pack a wankers. If you can’t talk to your parents, talk to your brother/sister, if you can’t talk to them talk to an aunt/uncle, or a friend, or samaritans, or a stranger on the street and if all that fails seek professional help There 6.5billion of us now and one thing you can be sure of is that whatever you have gone through somebody else has…unless you are Mary Harney’s gynacologist, then there is no hope for you…you have already been through the gates of hell…literally…and you are one of the damned
June 20th, 2007 @ 7:02 pm
i am a young man, unlike all you old and bitter fuckers who generally post on this archaic and equally bitter site (big fan though). does this mean that suicide is inevitable? i hope not, i was feeling cheery. anyway i’m sure i’ll be fine, just off to listen to some damien rice….
June 20th, 2007 @ 7:41 pm
why not give suicide a go, conor? it’ll probably suit you down to the ground (assuming you jump, of course).
courses on committing suicide properly would definitely be a good idea. the amount of money that is wasted on patching up, medicating and keeping an eye on failed suicides must be a terrible drain on the economy. subjects could include how to tie the right type of knot for a good noose, lists of commonly available medications with lethal doses based on body weight, and why not to use a fucking hammer to “commit suicide”. for the non technical, suicide help packs could consist of ready made nooses, lengths of hose with the correct fitting for the exhaust on daddy’s car – could be a whole new industry here. and of course maufacturers of suicide repair kits would make a fortune – wouldn’t be able to get enough body bags and coffins.
June 20th, 2007 @ 9:11 pm
Suicide is the last resort, when the person reaches a point of absolute hoplessness. You make a valid argument Twenty Major, but obviously there are exceptions. Sometimes suicide can be the bravest thing someone can do, and sometimes the parents won’t shed a tear… if a child is being abused by its parent(s), then that child’s whole world is pain and misery, and the only way to escape can sometimes be suicide.
June 20th, 2007 @ 9:17 pm
To my mind the main reason they’re popping themselves is that from the age of 10, a significant minority (not all!!! Repeat not all!!!) are indulging with no limitation in the sort of carnality and vice that would have made Tiberius on the isle of Capri blush.
All funded by non judgemental and cossetting mammy and daddy. No problems with job market after school either(4% as versus 20% unemployment remember).
Ergo: they hit 20, and they’ve Done. It. All. Literally. Probably burnt out a lifetimes seratonin reserve with all the e-tabs as well.
They then hit the real world, quarterly reviews, salary increments, the endless repetitious drudge of ordinary life and the fact that shit simply happens.
Bam!
June 20th, 2007 @ 9:22 pm
See now fifty years ago there was none of them electronic gadgets, hardly any TV unless you was rich and then only a few hours a day.
We entertained ourselves sometimes badly, got thumped by the village Copper, thrashed by the fuckin teachers and belted by our parents.
That’s the answer a bit of real pain!
However still a few lads done themselves in and they was the ones mainly who never got hit.
June 20th, 2007 @ 9:26 pm
And if you ask them have they ever heard of “delayed gratification”, they’ll probably answer “Did they play Whelan’s last week?”…….
June 20th, 2007 @ 10:23 pm
we were sent out on the street to play at the age of 3 and told to come home when we were hungry…
I feel so unloved
June 21st, 2007 @ 12:54 am
Dogzbollix:
I’m sure Caligula is turning over in his grave :)
June 21st, 2007 @ 1:44 am
Porridge (number 54 above) reminds me of a mate of mine – he did it good and proper, no fucking about, Threw himself off a multi-story car park and landed right in front of a bus.
Some folks don’t need no lessons.
June 21st, 2007 @ 9:00 pm
I got a text from my 14-year old son the other night.
He’s in the Gaeltacht for the first time. “Da I got my hole tonight. Bhi Si Go h-Iontach”
Kids these days. No time to talk to their old man.
June 21st, 2007 @ 9:08 pm
heh
June 22nd, 2007 @ 12:22 am
whowantstoknow,
Rest assured it was Tiberius, not Caligula, who used to get his tiddler nibbled by young fellah’s in his bath in Capri…..