Terry Wogan
I love Terry Wogan. An old rogue, a charmer, a velvet voiced picaroon so he is. He’s back in Ireland to be given the freedom of his home town of Limerick which, as we all know, is the greatest town in Ireland. It even has hotels.
He absolutely deserves it though. A man who took the BBC by storm and makes the Eurovision song contest watchable for straight people. Over the years his commentary has been as bitchy as a pack of bitchy bitches and generally what he does is drink pints of Baileys, get steadily more squiffy as the night progresses and generally take the piss out of the artists, the presenters, the host nation, the people who give the results for each country and the winners.
The man should be given the freedom of Ireland. Terry Wogan is so awesome I would even suggest we introduce a monarchy so he can be made a knight. Not just a title like they do in England but a real life, fuck off, stick my lance up your hole knight. He could roam Ireland on a massive black horse wearing a suit of armour with one of those pointy helmets and every bar he stopped into would serve him free booze and he would hold court by telling stories from his days at the Beeb such as ‘Why I never want to see Anne Diamond’s flaps again’, ‘Des Lynam’s debauched majirjuana sessions’, ‘What really happened with me, John Noakes and John Craven in the Algarve’ and ‘The truth about Scaryduck‘.
I heard a story recently when Chris Tarrant was talking about the time he was doing a breakfast show on Capital Radio in London and the Wogster was doing his breakfast show on BBC Radio 2. At some awards they got to talking and to drinking and then more drinking. When the bars were closed they retired to the hotel lobby where, as guests, they took advantage of the hotel bar until something like 4am. Tarrant eventually crawled off to bed only to have to get up an hour later to go and do his show.
He felt some solace though knowing that his drinking buddy would be feeling just a wretched. A couple of weeks later he ran into Wogan again.
“Jesus christ”, said Tarrant, “that was some fucking session the other week. I felt like shit doing my show. The only small comfort I had was knowing you were suffering the same way.”
“Oh, didn’t I tell you?”, said Terry, “I had that entire week off. Must have slipped my mind.”
Legend.
June 15th, 2007 at 9:35 am
I fucking HATE Terry Wogan’s voice. Gerry Ryan sounds exactly the same. The radio makes everyone sound like a growly, pretentious fuck after a while. Remember that time you were on the radio, Twenty? Amy Winehouse came on before you and I could barely tell the difference!
June 15th, 2007 at 9:36 am
My nipples are far less hairy that hers. It’s the only way to tell the difference.
June 15th, 2007 at 9:40 am
You great gurl’s blouse. I bet you wax.
June 15th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Too painful. I go the old fashioned route.
I have a monkey bite them out one by one.
June 15th, 2007 at 9:42 am
fifteen times a day ?
June 15th, 2007 at 9:56 am
The Freedom of Limerick. There’s a joke there surely somewhere.
June 15th, 2007 at 9:58 am
I didn’t think Terry Wogan even seen himself as Irish. In Belfast he was known as Terry the Brit and was dealt with the lack of respect as that other one, Barry Mc Quigan.
June 15th, 2007 at 10:00 am
“There’s a joke there surely somewhere.”
Yes, I try to convince myself of that every time I read this boring pile of shite. To say that Twenty Major used to be funny is to underestimate how fucking shite Twenty Major has been for a long, long time. And, also, he’s a cunt.
June 15th, 2007 at 10:09 am
And, also, he’s a cunt.
You’ve only just noticed?
June 15th, 2007 at 10:21 am
More heart warming stories of Limerick’s favorite son:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6417329.stm
http://media.guardian.co.uk/site/story/0,,2101166,00.html
June 15th, 2007 at 10:27 am
Anything about stabbing in those?
June 15th, 2007 at 10:37 am
If he’s getting the freedom to roam the streets of Limerick, having armour and a lance might not be such a bad idea.
So there’s your Limerick gag. Everyone happy now?
June 15th, 2007 at 10:43 am
Yes. Thank you, Lung.
June 15th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Twenty Were you driving a truck today on the M50, was that your way of making up for missing out on giving Egan a tumping.
Terry is a god because he works with microphones and they are sneaky bastards. They turn on when you dont expect it and catch you saying things you shouldn’t. Remember Bush and Blair. Yesterday in Lebanon a lady newsreader was caught by her microphone. SHe was reporting on the explosion that killed the MP, after she was saying that it took them long enough to kill him as we were all tired of waiting, she then gave a list of who should be next.
Very funny really except she was reading from an actual list she had. Microphones they will get you all one day.
June 15th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Very funny really except she was reading from an actual list she had.
haha
I do remember leaving the mic up and calling someone a name but luckily:
1 – The music more or less drowned out what I said
2 – No fucker really listened to the station anyway
3 – Nobody who was listening could have argued with me.
June 15th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Not really Lung. I need something with a bit more substance. There’s a cracker in there just waiting to come out.
June 15th, 2007 at 11:22 am
Sucking up to Wogan now, won’t do any harm when the bewk comes out!
June 15th, 2007 at 11:29 am
I would even suggest we introduce a monarchy so he can be made a knight
Hahaha…sure, if we’re gonna introduce a monarchy for Terry, let’s make him King! Terry Wogan, King of Ireland. That has a good ring to it.
June 15th, 2007 at 11:35 am
Twenty, have been an avid reader for quite a while but have never commented. Don’t have anything to say about todays article but as a bloginner would appreciate if you would read and comment. Comments from the master are always appreciated. Know your busy with your book an’ all.
June 15th, 2007 at 11:38 am
Damn you lickarsey b3n! I thought I was your girlfriend!
June 15th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Twenty, you seem to have a fair few wide eyed cunts calling you shite these days.
God be with the days when you had a steady clique of 5 commenterers that called you shite.
June 15th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Heady days, J5.
June 15th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
It’s just not the same anymore. :-(
June 15th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Wogan’s a cunt. I urge everyone in Limerick to ask him about the DNA test he suppressed publication of and why.
June 15th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
DNA test suppressed? You mean he is an alien, I always wondered about the humongous ears and I dont think thats his real hair.
June 15th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
I never liked this blog. Still don’t.
rotflmao
June 15th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Ahhhh Terry Wogan. The Floral dance, dance dance where ever you may be coz I have pooed in me pants sez he.
June 15th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
rotflmao
Gay.
June 15th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
There was something wrong with having the news read to children by a man named Craven.
June 15th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Sweary, you are, you were my first comment and you always remember your first. Twenty would be the daddy of bloggers and you will always have a place in my heart!!!
June 15th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Yars afore t’was consider a gay title, he was my first mate.
June 15th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Never trust anybody wearing a wig!
June 15th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
Have you seen Wogan’s leaked sex tape? Terry is the man.
June 18th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
I’ve always like Terry Wogan. His best TV was doing Blankety Blank. It was the biggest piece of crap every put on TV as a games show….but Terry knew it was crap and made it into a hilarious piece of dark humour. More or less the same as he handled Eurovison as you say. The other so called comedians who did Blankety Blank after him were rubbish. That’s the odd thing, Wogan is not a comedian but he is soooo full of dark wit. And I agree he has a great voice too.
June 20th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
“ye see, looks aren’t everything” as the foreign lesbo takes the stage…
Go on, give him the freedom of ireland for fuck sake
September 22nd, 2008 at 10:54 pm
could you please tell me what Lickarsey means??