What the fuck is going on today? I’m expecting to see someone round up two of every animal any minute now.
If God asked me to build a big ship and take two of every animal I’d make sure not to take any owls, because they are cunts. Or maybe I’d just take one owl to make the fucker lonely.
It’s actually January, not June? Didn’t ye get the memo?
Galway is swamped…with rain and owls …the feckers
I wouldn’t take any platypussesses. What fuckin use are they?
anyway what do you care? I thought you were housebound with your outbreak of writing/agorophobia..?
have you run out of stell and baked beans?
I am so angry, i am fit to burst. every fucking cunt in work who has been whingeing at me all week can go and get themselves fucked (she probably will), every fucking prick client who has been whining and bitching all week can die roaring for all i care, every son of a bitch who voted for Fianna Fail can drown in there own vomit, fuck the weather I am getting twatted tonight and tomorrow and on Sunday. Fuck hungover Monday, I will cross that bridge when I come to it, if I come to it. Fingers crossed there will be some horrible accident involving me, numerous pints of Guinness and a very large truck late on Sunday evening/ early Monday morning.
I sincerely hope Trevor Sargent meets his demise with a tofu fork up his arse, Harney chokes on a ham sandwich, McDowell is raped by some sick bastard that was released on bail after fiddling with kids, Bertie is haunted by CJH and loses his mind in the Ard Comhairle box in Croker on Sunday and is shown across the land as the whimpering stamerring little bag of shite that he is.
Anyway, glad I have that off my chest, have a lovely weekend everyone.
Pants Man: we should talk, you and I.
Go to the pub like a normal person ffs.
What makes you think I won’t be?
Why are owls cunts? Seagulls, yes. Wasps, yes. Stingy nettles, yes. But owls – whatever have they done to deserve being called cunts?
They’re sinister, head turny cunts, Mike.
Don’t knock the rain. It provides a necessary and balancing emotional outlet for the Northern European soul. Try feeling healthily maudlin in a place like California. You can’t. Because it’s a lovely day out. What excuse have you got for being blue? None! You are forced to be perennially fucking cheerful. Even the evenings are pleasant!
God bless the Californians, I love em – a fine people. But there is something of the sugar-overloaded glazed donut in all our expressions. We need to watch some raindrops on the window for a while to clear our vision. The pressure to be happy is enormous. It’s why, natually, people wouldn’t live here – only cold-blooded creatures like snakes – immune to shifting emotions – and rabbits who are twits.
So what’s wrong with sinister, head turny cunts, then?
I didn’t actually mean to be that emphatic. I just lack itallic closure, is all. See how Californian I am? Christ help me.
I fixed it for you, Sam.
Magnet – they’re sinister and head-turny.
How do you stop rabbits digging up your garden?
Take away there shovels of course.
That Sam character is right, rabbits are twits.
Well, actually I was still holding out for Christ to help me, but cheers.
If there isn’t a horror movie made with owls yet, then there should be. Be scary fucking shit alright.
I wouldn’t trust any animal that can turn it’s head 360 degrees. Its not right nor proper.
You can’t hear owls when they fly – there’s no swoosh or anything to alert small rodents of their impending beaky death from the skies. They have serrated tips on their wing feathers to cancel the sound, so they land on their prey completely without warning.
Silent bastards.
I like that flood ad, I think its for Amstel
I’m actually glad it’s been raining. It’s been soothing the fuck out of the nuclear-grade sunburn I got last weekend.
The owl thing is easily explained – our budding author has J.K.Rowlingitis!
Sam,problemchildbride – most of the time they are silent but you should hear the fuckers after 10 pints of guinness and a curry.
Owls are cool
seagull’s, wasp’s pigeon’s and rat’s don’t let them on the ark.
pointless existence in your face bastard’s.
And cat’s cos they look down on you and they smother babies,it’s true a taxi driver told me
Of course it’s raining, and much more rain on the way.
Did you not see the agreement between FF and the Greens?
Ireland is to be the new European Rain Forest.
Cattle and sheep will be phased out as part of our commitment to reduce methane, and soy bean plants will replace them. School lunch will feature tofu burgers.
And part of that program will be breeding owls in Sligo and Leitrim.
I like the Great Horned ones.
OWLS!!
Let the Lemurs die but don’t forget the all important sheep, weemen are so last year.
Pitbulls are cunts.
Every pitbull on the planet should be starved for a week and then smeared with Pedigree Chum.
Then put the fucken lot of them into the one fucken cage.
Whichever one is still standing after seven days should be hung up by its balls.
Pitbulls are better than owls. When did you last hear of a pitbull savaging a young child?
Exactly. Owls are provocative cunts.
I’d leave cats behind. They are smug like bastards who really dont like rain. That’l teach em…
well,smear the fucken owls in Pedigree Chum then.
these two owls looking over a fence , one says to the other…….ah , fuck it , it’s a shite joke
whats with the fucking owls Twenty, you have some sort of Late Late show fetish going on there..
If you’re building an ark, please leave out the roaches and crickets.
And I’ll trade you rain for 96 degree heat, which is what I’ve got here.
provocative, untrustworthy 360 degree head spinners, sinister and head-turny silent bastards – fantastic, I realize I have a really strong affinity with these feckers.
Owls eat vermin so it would be a good thing to cross them with very large condors and then turn them loose on politians.
The rain, it raineth on the just
and also on the unjust fella.
But mainly on the just
cos the unjest steals the just’s umbrella.
That’s classic – is it an original, Rory John?