Virtual Guinness? Fuck off.

EirePreneur reports on ‘virtual Guinness’ in Second Life.

Fuck me. Does it have a virtually creamy head? Does it taste virtually delicious? I don’t mind people pretending to be knights or elves or flying avatars or whatever the fuck they’re called, to each their own, but what is the fucking point of virtual booze?

Why stand around pretending to be someone you’re not and having that character drink pixellated stout when you could, you know, actually go out and talk to real people and drink the real thing?

No wonder the world is so fucked up.

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32 Responses to Virtual Guinness? Fuck off.

  1. Sid Trotter says:

    But I thought you lived in a virtual world twenty

  2. ELCC says:

    I dunno… I can understand not wanting to go out and talk to real people…pretendy Guinness though… balls to that

  3. Wow, you mean… you’re like a real person? Fuck me!

  4. Er,… not literally of course,.. and not even virtually!

  5. Twenty Major says:

    You’re safe enough, James, don’t worry.

  6. JackMcMad says:

    Ahh but can yeh smoke in the virtual pubs Twenty, can yeh??

  7. pot says:

    I was in a virtual pub once,I got a bad pint so I never went back!!

  8. O'Reilly says:

    While I was in there, some fucker stole me virtual bike which I’d padlocked to the virtual railings.

  9. But will it get you virtually locked?

  10. John B says:

    I bought Simms for the Playstation a few years ago. I’m still convinced its one big practical joke. Why would I want to clean a baby’s arse and put out the bins. It’s bad enough haveing to do that shit for real. I think I might have smashed that game.

    J.

  11. Wham! had a single back in the early Eighties called ‘Last Christmas’ and it charted very, very well for them. I now realise that this has nothing to do with the above

  12. feckless eejit says:

    Wham !! jaysus that takes me back, how did that song go again, George Michael: Last Christmas I give you me arse… or words to that affect.

  13. pot says:

    Is a wet dream virtual sex?

  14. roosta says:

    Second Life is the single most pointless thing I have ever encountered. I actually feel angry thinking about the 10 minutes or so I took me to download and set-up.

    And the minute it took me to realise how utterly pointless it is.

  15. Loco Lobo says:

    No Pot, a wet dream in not virtual sex. To have virtual sex you have to be awake and parked in front of a device that fills the brains eroginous lobes full of electronic sexual shit. It’s meant for people with no imagination. Normal guys fantasize about the hot girl next door and jerk off. It’s more natural.

  16. Gomaith says:

    “Would you like regular, cold or virtual Guinness?”

    “What’s the difference ?”

    “Oh, they’re the same really like, you know. I think one might be supposed to be colder and the other one is just you know, virtual”

    “Oh, if that’s the case sure I’ll just have whatever is handiest for you”

  17. ELCC says:

    On the upside, the virtual stuff would cut down on the amount of incidents of pooing molten lava

  18. ELCC says:

    And your shite might turn brown

  19. Peadar says:

    a wet dream is real sex

  20. idlebones says:

    I went out last night for a few pints of the real stuff and ened up busting a rib when I fell during a race up West street. Evidently my legs were that much drunker than the rest of me and refused to cooperate. Sprawled myself neatly at the feet of some gorgeous Polish birds. Spent all day today at A&E with a vicious thug of a hangover to get me chest x-rayed.

    Fucking marvelous night it was. Wouldn’t get that with the virtual stuff.

  21. monty says:

    It’s the virtual hangover you have to look out for and virtual dry wretching the scent of a spice burger after a hard night on the keyboard.

  22. Sassy Sundry says:

    That’s simply evil. There’s no other way to describe it.

    The whole “Second Life” thing gives me the willies. It’s bad enough that I spend too much time blogging, but to claim to have a life on the interweb would be too much.

  23. henry says:

    jesus fucken christ-

    you aint half posting some shite these days Twenty.

  24. Daghda says:

    Yeah I blame the poxy assed middle class wankers with more cash than fucking brains… the twats need stringing up so they do

  25. Twenty Major says:

    What the fuck do you mean ‘these days’?

  26. manuel says:

    I wonder if the virtual pint is pulled by a virtual Polish barman and does he get virtual tips. mmmmmmmmmmm

  27. ben says:

    Back in the old old days when a 2400-baud modem was cutting-edge, there were text-only versions of virtual bars. They were just as shite.

  28. Why stand around pretending to be someone you’re not and having that character drink pixellated stout when you could, you know, actually go out and talk to real people and drink the real thing?

    It’s so that sad-fuck, tedious bloody teetotallers can go to a virtual pub and pretend to be one of the lads, without everyone else realising that they are actually cunts.

    DK

  29. kev says:

    Virtual Guinness has a perfect embossed green shamrock , virtual Jameson should’nt harm you, but to be sure , order your virtual body wuth an extra liver to be virtually on the safe side.

  30. daniel says:

    Can you refuse a badly pulled virtual Guinness? It’s so bad these days that my friend was asked by a recruiter/head hunter if he had a second life account, so they could talk about the options. What’s next? we get payed by our employers in virtual money? Fuck off…

  31. georgiasam says:

    It’ll make a change from the kind of virtual creamy head most male internet users are used to, then. Or can you get them in Second Life too?

  32. Ass-per-usual says:

    Sounds virtually shite

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