I have failed you

There I was sitting, drinking beer in the glorious afternoon sun yesterday in the centre of town.

In the middle of the conversation who should walk by but Barry Egan. It didn’t register with me for about 20 seconds though and by the time I had got up and gone after him to smash his hideous fucking face in he had disappeared.

I really hope you can forgive me. I’m so, so sorry.

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34 Responses to I have failed you

  1. siobhan says:

    I fackin hate that ginger twat, I hope you battered him twenty

  2. siobhan says:

    oh fuck in my eagerness to respond, I didnt realise he “disapeared”, better luck next time

  3. He didn’t batter him at all. Thats why twenty reckons he has failed us!

  4. alfie says:

    Who the fuck is Barry Egan?
    I travel to Ireland every few weeks and Iv’e never heard of him!

  5. scorchio says:

    your one lucky man Alfie
    Ignorance is bliss

  6. Glinda the good witch says:

    Poor Twenty. You may indeed have failed us, (let’s not beat around the bush)… but you SAW Bazza! That’s horrific. Are you having nightmares about it?

  7. porridge says:

    should have lobbed a pint glass in his direction trainspotting style and hope that he got pulped in the ensuing riot. not as satisfying as doing it yourself, but at least you could continue enjoying a drink while being entertained by the melee.

  8. Dick Spring says:

    Barry Egan gave me the best blowjob I’ve ever had.

    I won’t have a word said against him.

  9. Blarneyman says:

    You have failed us, ergo you’re a cunt.

  10. shaz says:

    twenty,

    how could you. i have taken two weeks off work just to look for him on the streets so i could do bad things to him (without condom), and could not find him.

    Missed opportunity there, but fuck it, he will get it in the end…..a hideous beating.

    The guy is a cunt

  11. Tricia says:

    Okay… here’s his picture… study it carefully so you won’t be so remiss the next time.

    http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4082/1122/1600/868A7349-0321-6D3D-C1F94642A43E1A30.0.jpg

  12. Maggot says:

    Is he as big a twat as Colin Murray?

  13. wax says:

    barry egan may be a cunt alright but id sooner see ian o doretey given a hiden

  14. Ah now, while I may rag on Ian O’Doherty, no one deserves as good a hiding as that ginger tit.

    Get in good shape; then you’ll be able to catch up with him.

  15. fatmammycat says:

    That ergo is like chicken pox the way it spreads.

  16. cantona says:

    Damn straight! (unlike that Egan cunt). If you had only thought to call….I could have helped. Just finished reading a buke called “Out” by Japanese author Natsuo Kirino where women regularly butcher their menfolk and dispose of the bits. Got some great ideas that would work brilliantly on Egan. Don’t forget me next time!!

  17. cantona says:

    PS Ian O’Doherty is indeed a fat cunt, but never will be as hated as much as Egan. Never. Ever.

  18. Johnjohn says:

    Fuck you Twenty.

    Now I don’t believe in nuthin no more. I’m gona go to law school!

  19. kev says:

    surley , that’s like an Elvis sighting

  20. Twenty Major says:

    Now I don’t believe in nuthin no more. I’m gona go to law school!

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  21. The Philster says:

    Barry Egan, Ian O’Doherty and the NI bloke from big brother are on a plane. There are no parachutes except for a black refuse sack………

  22. conan drumm says:

    Who is Barry Egan? Is he a public figure? What does he do?. I’ve lived in Ireland all my life and never heard of him.

  23. mike says:

    Wikipedia says he’s a hurling player, that’s it. I’d love to know why everyone hates him so much… because simply being a hurling player can’t possibly be the reason.

  24. fatmammycat says:

    He’s a long haired ginger gossip writer for the Sindo (Sunday Independent) he’s wildly in love with Lisa Murphy, a not very good looking model who is famed for dating Michael Flatley. Hope this helps.

  25. niall says:

    Yeah, right 20. You were brickin it. typisch Dub, all talk no action

  26. We give you one job to do and you fuck it up, who do you think you are Mary Harney?

  27. It’s ok everyone, I tracked him down.. Once I saw the shock of red hair, I knew what to do.. Let’s just say he’s ‘dead’ now…

    EDIT: Ooops, it was actually Jean Butler

  28. Ah Jaysus Twenty!!!! who knows how many literary disasters you could have have prevented.

  29. JackMcMad says:

    I used to live downstairs from Barry on Leeson St. One night we were partying and he came down to complain about the noise so I fookin battered him. heh heh heh!!!

  30. daniel says:

    Ah you’ll get another chance! When you get your book published Barry would love to have an interview with you. Being a celebrity and all that. And with a little bit of luck he even invites Celia Ahern to do a double interview. Two for the price of one! In order to get him that far you’ll might have to smooth him up a bit, though….

  31. Twenty Major says:

    He can shove it up his cunt.

  32. rosie says:

    i forgive you twenty. saw him at the galway races last year – he leered at me and by the time i realised who it was, my chance was gone. it still brings a tear to my eye.

  33. sniffer says:

    Don’t worry about The Ego Egan. That ginger chug nugget’s cards are marked.

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