The delicate balance of nature
Posted on | May 24, 2007 | 19 Comments
We all know how finely tuned the earth is. The so-called ‘circle of life. As I wise man once said:
It’s the poo of the antelope, the poo of the giraffe
It falls onto the earth and becomes the blades of grass
The grass is eaten by the cattle, which comes out the other end
To make food for the humans and start all over again
How true those words are. On a more local level though everything is in balance, isn’t it? Work and play. Hot and cold. Wet and dry. Not cunts and Bertie Ahern.
And speaking of wet has anyone else noticed the balance between the snooze button on your alarm clock and the need to wee first thing in the morning?
It goes off, you wake up, realise you need to slash but the need to sleep outweighs the need to urinate. So you click ‘snooze’. 10 minutes later the alarm goes off again and once more you become conscious of the need to piddle but there’s still dozing to be done.
Snooze. Alarm. Wake. Need to drain lizard. Can you hold off? Yes.
Some more shuteye. Snooze. Alarm. Wake. Bladder set to burst. Almost. Just a little more sleep.
Eventually though the need to piss becomes greater than the need to sleep so up you get and direct a steaming stream into the toilet (mostly) and soon your wee becomes part of nature.
Snoozing and weeing. Two wonderful things that go side by side but are probably best avoided at the same time. I love nature.
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19 Responses to “The delicate balance of nature”
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May 24th, 2007 @ 9:45 am
You need the best of both worlds, you need a chamber pot or more commonly known by the rest of us as a piss pot, piss can, piss bucket etc etc.
Those familiar with bedsit land will be more acquaninted with the fitted variety known as the ‘small sink in the corner’
May 24th, 2007 @ 9:48 am
I know exactly what you mean!- well except for the steaming stream of piss bit. Because girls don’t get to look down and see any steam
May 24th, 2007 @ 10:54 am
When I lived in the West Indies I used to sleep in a hammock, the need to have a piss never woke me up!
May 24th, 2007 @ 11:06 am
Twenty
Can we please inundate Rick O’ Shea’s website with hard luck Liverpool e-mails after his show last night where he played mostly Liverpool bands. Can he ever grow up and support a decent team like Manchester United!!
May 24th, 2007 @ 11:07 am
While I’m enjoying Rick’s misery I won’t be party to any promotion of those other cunts, Anto.
May 24th, 2007 @ 11:17 am
So how do we make Rick more miserable than he already feels. What pisses him off in the same way as he pissed you off when he played Damien Rice after interviewing you…..and you don’t necessarily have to be a Man U fan to take part in this game, but it’s much more fun if you are!!
May 24th, 2007 @ 11:20 am
I’d forgotten about that Damien Rice thing, Anto. Hmmmm….
May 24th, 2007 @ 11:40 am
Send him this:
“Liverpool are going to win the Champions League final – I am absolutely 100% confident of that.”
May 24th, 2007 @ 11:41 am
Nicely jinxed, Hansen, you scar faced cunt.
May 24th, 2007 @ 12:35 pm
Liverpool lost, fair enough.
But they had enough chances to win it, and it was a close game
Unlike the semi when united had their arses well and truly kicked.
May 24th, 2007 @ 1:03 pm
Peadar
I wholeheartedly agree. Both teams were beaten by one man though and his name is Kaka…True genius
May 24th, 2007 @ 3:47 pm
Has Rick seen the e-mail picture of the unused Liverpool “Champions League winners” open top bus yet…zero mileage….
May 24th, 2007 @ 3:52 pm
Nah, some scouser probably nicked it.
May 24th, 2007 @ 3:56 pm
To bring this discussion back on topic…
Worse I think, is waking up with wood and bursting for a piss.
May 24th, 2007 @ 4:22 pm
Worse I think, is waking up with wood and bursting for a piss.
Yeah, this guy‘s got it bad.
May 24th, 2007 @ 4:54 pm
Deep breaths lads – Will Leahy was the one playing Liverpool bands last night…. All I indulged in was a bout of chest banging and the playing of You’ll Never Walk Alone… Remember – I’m a Liverpool fan; we’re used to our fair share of disappointment so last night is nothing new ;-)
May 24th, 2007 @ 6:13 pm
Fair play Rick.
Does Leahy have a website where we can slag the shite out of him???
Obviously you are a normal well adjusted Liverpool fan whereas Leahy sounds like a poor desperate sad “I can see no problems with this team” apart from as you would probably agree Zenden, Alonso, and the lack of a 20 goals a season centre forward.
May 25th, 2007 @ 12:21 am
Anto I am with you all the way on Zenden, Gonzalez, Sissoko, Arbeloa and even Bellamy. We, the faithful, hope and pray we have the funds now to buy our way to proper success as is the current style ;-)
May 26th, 2007 @ 12:52 am
Don’t drink tea before bed. I’m just putting the kettle on, 00:45.