Away from all that stuff
Posted on | May 22, 2007 | 19 Comments
Must get away from politics. I’ve never been a political person really but I’m finding myself getting angry about things I don’t really care that much about. That said, if a man can’t get angry at the idea of Oswald Cobblepot teaming up with Grizzly Adams to form a government then what can he get angry about?
Still, there’s plenty of time in the rest of the week to give out about it all. Today it’s time for something more light-hearted. I was reading in the paper about a young man who decided to climb up an electricity pylon after the FA Cup final on Saturday to make his friends laugh. Now, it was a very poor game of football and perhaps that’s what drove him to do something so dangerous but what is this insistence on doing something dangerous when drunk to impress other people. As you might imagine he got killed to death, fatally, by a bolt of electricity.
“Oh, look at me. I am climbing a pylon and getting close to the electricity lines through which a bazillion volts are currently speeding. Haha, hilarious…”
*ZAP*
“Argh.”
*SPLAT*
Honestly, you see it all the time. People who climb things, people play chicken with trains and are too slow to move out of the way, people who walk along ledges with a 50 foot drop below them, people who lean over balconies etc etc.
Can you imagine how many people would die if Ireland was a country with wild animals (apart from Mary Harney)?
“Haha, I’m so drunk. Just for the laugh I’m going to go over there and kick that sleeping lion in the gee.”
*boot*
*snarl – maul – chomp*
There’d be tigers with the taste for human blood, Zebra stompings, Magilla Gorilla picking fights with people outside of Club M and Condors and Vultures swooping down from the sky and making off with lightweight folk.
Stupid cunts. I wonder if we can get a few pints into Bertie and get him to climb the Spike then electrify it when he’s halfway up. That’d be funny.
Argh, back to politics.
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19 Responses to “Away from all that stuff”
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May 22nd, 2007 @ 9:42 am
A gorilla escaped from Rotterdam zoo here a few days ago – that would have been a lot of fun had it happened in Dublin…. so many missed opportunities – I can just imagine the comments ‘ I see Harney’s out and about again’ and so forth
May 22nd, 2007 @ 9:48 am
Speaking of Grizzly Adams, check out the Indo today and be careful not to choke on your coffee when you find the picture of HIM IN HIS UNDERWEAR in some clothes shop in Sligo. Urrrghh. You know how it is, you’re out on the campaign trail, surrounded by 20 journalists and photographers, and you decide to do a bit of trouser shopping…really the shameless vote grabbing antics have reached a new low.
May 22nd, 2007 @ 9:49 am
Trespassers be warned do not enter this field unless you can cross it in 29 seconds, the bull can cross it in 30 seconds?
May 22nd, 2007 @ 9:56 am
“Haha, I’m so drunk. Just for the laugh I’m going to go over there and kick that sleeping lion in the gee.”
Sure even though the few wild animals we have are safely locked in the zoo, stupid people have still managed to get thenselves mauled.
Some idiot stuck her arm into the lion enclosure last year…she won’t be doing that again..she can’t.
May 22nd, 2007 @ 11:00 am
Hang on now. Who hasn’t done something life-threatening when they’ve been hammered? I’ve had plenty of brushes with death on nights out.
Heard a story recently about a lad in Edinburgh who leapt a three-foot wall, not realising there was a twenty-foot drop on the other side. His friends must’ve roared laughing.
May 22nd, 2007 @ 11:23 am
Many years ago a friend of mine used to get a bit weird after a few beers and go all stern and quiet. One night after a few jars too many, he decided to queue up at the Hot Dog van. The van was a mini with a very high roof on it. Patiently he waited , as did we for him, until he got to the front. The man said “Hot Dog?” he replied in a very calm manner “No I’d like to walk over your van”. The vendor laughed loudly and dismissed him out of hand. My friend disappeared from view and the queue began to build up again. We then saw my friend appear then walk up the bonnet of the vehicle then over the roof, much to the shock of the Hot Dog man. My friend did many strange little things over the years.
May 22nd, 2007 @ 11:29 am
I think it’s a kind of karma thing. The dumb die first. Bit like the Darwin awards where they quite helpfully remove themselves from the gene pool.
Better for society overall.
May 22nd, 2007 @ 11:33 am
Drunken gobshite gets zapped while climbing a pylon:
Darwinism – 1 Intelligent Design – 0
May 22nd, 2007 @ 1:47 pm
You should get Bastardface and Throatripper reproducing (not with each other, that could be difficult though the results would be spectacular) and release the resulting progeny into the wild…
May 22nd, 2007 @ 2:18 pm
Shocking story…
May 22nd, 2007 @ 2:38 pm
Climbing Electricity Pylons is a deadly Buzz.
Sorry.
May 22nd, 2007 @ 3:02 pm
There’s a guy wandering around our town who stuck BOTH arms into a tiger’s cage when a circus visited a few years ago… CHOMP CHOMP…
He still lives a full and normal life…
Most people treat him just the same as before… I just make a point of not following him into the gents when he’s having a pint in my local…
May 22nd, 2007 @ 3:11 pm
Twenty
“As you might imagine he got killed to death, fatally, by a bolt of electricity.”
Has he shuffled off this mortal coil?
Has he snuffed it?
May 22nd, 2007 @ 3:11 pm
I would like to see SF and FF in a coalition just to hear all the tantrums from the snobs!
May 22nd, 2007 @ 3:36 pm
beady, are you talking about that guy in Galway, or is there someone else in Ireland who did that?
My sister used to serve that guy pints. He drank through a straw and she’d have to put her hand in his pockets whenever he had to pay. She hated him.
May 22nd, 2007 @ 11:00 pm
kav,
Yes – one and the same…
Chances are your sister served me pints too – however, she never had to put her hand in my pocket…!!
I’m a classier kind of customer all things considered…
May 23rd, 2007 @ 4:45 am
“Haha, I’m so drunk. Just for the laugh I’m going to go over there and kick that sleeping lion in the gee.”
Some idiot did something like that in China not too long ago…. The guy was drunk and decided to hug a panda in a zoo. Surprise, pandas bite. I still laugh when I think about that.
Yes, I’m kind of simple, what of it?
May 23rd, 2007 @ 2:36 pm
I must ask her if she knows a lad called beady.
May 24th, 2007 @ 9:49 am
Yes – and I’ll look out for a barmaid who puts her hands in the customers pockets…