Tonight’s debate
Posted in politics by Twenty Major on May 17th, 2007
It’s gonna be awesome, isn’t it?
Enda “Man of the people” Kenny versus Bertie “Snivelling little shitebag” Ahern. I can’t wait. I think Enda has come along in leaps and bounds since he dyed that ginger right out of his hair and Bertie is showing the strain, big time. The bags under his eyes, the nervous twitches, the shuddering jowls and the knowledge that his campaign is floundering will see him go on the attack.
Enda Kenny: “…and that’s why the rainbow coalition is not just for fans of Barbara Streisand and musicals. It’s for everyone. The people of Ireland who need a change and who *thumps hand on podium* deserve a change!”
Bertie Ahern: “Your mum.”
Enda Kenny: “What?”
Bertie Ahern: *raises middle finger in well known gesture*. “Smell yer ma”.
Enda Kenny: “It’s typical of this government that they reduce things to the lowest common denominator. Look at crime, it’s been reduced upwards. Hospital waiting lists, reduced upwards. House prices, reduced upwards.”
Bertie Ahern: “Yeah. That’s what you say.”
Enda Kenny: “That’s NOT what I say. Those are facts.”
Bertie Ahern: “Says who?”
Enda Kenny: “Says everyone.”
Bertie Ahern: “Yeah. Yeah. Where’s your proof?”
Enda Kenny: “The proof is all around you. The people waiting on trollies are your proof. The people killed by muderous criminals are your proof.”
Bertie Ahern: “Got any of that proof with you?”
Enda Kenny: “Well no, but-”
Bertie Ahern: “There you go then. You’re spoofing. Liar, liar pants on fire.”
Enda Kenny: “Now listen to me…”
Bertie Ahern: *puts fingers in ears, starts doing comedy walk around stage*. “La la la la laaaaaa. No proof. No proof. No proof. La la la la la laaaaa. Can’t hear you.”
Enda Kenny: “This is nonsense.”
Bertie Ahern: “I know you are.”
Enda Kenny: “No, this whole situation is a farce.”
Bertie Ahern: “I know you are but what am I?”
Enda Kenny: *gets the ginger rage and punches Bertie in the nose*
Personally I think it should be mandatory for both of them to drink a couple of stiff whiskeys beforehand and by a couple I mean a pint. A couple of pints.
I haven’t looked forward to a TV program as much since Tales of the Gold Monkey.
Excellent stuff twenty
May 17th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Sorry Twenty, but that sounds totally ridiculous. There’s no way Bertie will ever be that eloquent, the stuttering cunt.
May 17th, 2007 at 8:59 am
1
Jaysus twenty, do you really think Bertie can talk AND put his fingers in his ears at the same time?…
May 17th, 2007 at 9:10 am
2
If Enda Kenny is a “Man of the people” then I don’t want to be one of those people
* books ticket to Iran *
May 17th, 2007 at 9:48 am
3
HeeHeeheeee. “Smell your Ma”. Jaysus Twenty !! Brilliant stuff.
Maybe they’ll have a Zoolander “dance-off” tonight.
May 17th, 2007 at 9:50 am
4
It must have being worth good money to be in Ranelagh avenue yesterday, Michael McDowell and John Gormley doing the schoolboy routine..come on if you think you’r hard enough..no you come no if you think you’r hard enough..my woman is further up the lampost than yours.. mine was a the top of the lampost but she’s comming down..the had Liz O’Donnell up one lamppost and Lucinda Creighton up another lampost, what is this with putting women up lamposts in Dublin, when I lived in the country we used to put them up the pole but never up a lampost!!!
May 17th, 2007 at 9:56 am
5
Jaysus…tales of the golden monkey. Did that have a sort of ‘Indiana Jones in a plane that goes on water’ fella? If it’s the thing I’m thinking of, I remember the pilot episode being great, with fellas dressed up as monkeys running around a jungle. The series, as I recall, was a bit of a disappointment after the dizzying excitement brought on by the pilot.
May 17th, 2007 at 9:59 am
6
GK - that’s the one. I remember one episode where someone got caught in a pyramid of some kind with one of those Egyptian doghead people. And the next week we never found out what happened!
May 17th, 2007 at 10:01 am
7
Size ten..here you go..its funny
http://migrant-isitjustme.blogspot.com/2007/05/showdown-mcdoewell-and-gormley-with.html
May 17th, 2007 at 10:29 am
8
But Bertie has Tony and Bill on his side. Any chance they may make a guest appearance?
May 17th, 2007 at 10:51 am
9
Excellent Twenty. Just missing the “My brother is bigger than your brother” comment.
May 17th, 2007 at 10:51 am
10
Will Eye of the [Celtic] Tiger be playing as they walk on … for the Stumble ‘n’ the Bumble?
May 17th, 2007 at 10:56 am
11
Thanks, Littlesapling! I don’t tkink Liz will ever make a poll dancer, do they have an official ladder carrier?
May 17th, 2007 at 10:59 am
12
they could always put wheels on Harney..
May 17th, 2007 at 11:11 am
13
Now that’s what I call a monster truck.
May 17th, 2007 at 11:13 am
14
Size Ten, you should ask Lucky Luciano about that Liz and Lucinda thing. His countrymen enjoyed hanging their leaders’ mistresses from lampposts as well. And upside down too, the pervy divils.
May 17th, 2007 at 11:33 am
15
Funny.
May 17th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
16
It is so sad that you ones in the Free State can’t just get on with each other as we do up here in Northern Ireland. Just put your divisions behind you and play like nice children.
Maybe your politicians need to borrow Mr Paisley’s big happy hat - ever since he has taken to wearing a Sir Edward Carson-style hat he has been laughing and joking and enjoying a nice cup of tea with Marty up at Stormont.
May 17th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
17
Hillarious! Was looking forward to it myself until I realised The Sopranos starts up again tonight… I’ve got my priorities you know! Real Irish political thugs vs. fictional Italian mob thugs… hmmm tough call!
May 17th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
18
Blarneyman with an Olive branch?
May 17th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
19
Fucking dirty cunts, no sign of The Sopranos in any listings today. Fuckity fucking dirty fucking cuntyfuck.
That’s it, I’m spoiling my vote.
May 17th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
20
Not for you Dale, ya cunt.
May 17th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
21
Fucking dirty cunts, no sign of The Sopranos in any listings today. Fuckity fucking dirty fucking cuntyfuck.
That’s it, I’m spoiling my vote.
I’ve only got three episodes left to see. Torrents are good.
May 17th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
22
Are you fuckin cuntin fuckin takin the fuckin cuntin piss, it’s not cuntin Torrents, it’s fuckin Touretts, shiten shitehouses, fuckpigs…….
May 17th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
23
ARGH! They changed it because of some feckin debate. Now I’m pissed… really pissed. And suppose next week they’ll have to postpone another week to give us up to the minute news about how FF are winning despite no one having voted for them… *SIGH* All I wanted was a little Tony therapy… :-(
May 17th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
24
Blarneyman: Didn’t say for me, you illiterate b*stard, I meant for Twenty but then again you probably haven’t the brain power to think back to yesterday.
May 17th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
25
Don’t get your knickers in a twist you little bitch.
May 17th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
26
Wrong sex tw*t face.
May 17th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
27
LOL, that is so fucking stupid … but then, makes sense coming from you.
May 17th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
28
Deborah, you nearly gave me a heart attack, I’ve been searching TV listings for 2 days, looking for the Sopranos, and no joy.
I thought I’d missed something!
Anyway, it’s worth waiting for, eh?
May 17th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
29
sod whiskey and beer. give them both a great big shot of sodium pentathol each and then allow the audience to ask questions. would save us a fortune on tribunals and with any luck, we’d never hear from either of them again.
May 17th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
30
While he’s under the influence of the sodium petathol, do you think someone could ask Bertie did his “tragic” marriage meltdown happen before or after he took up with the ex-First Girlfriend, aka Celia Larkin, or Ms. Larkin, as he now calls her???
May 17th, 2007 at 6:42 pm
31
I think Dolphins are just queer Sharks!!!
May 17th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
32
To be honest, I think I’d rather stick hot needles in my eyes than watch those two cunts going at it face to ugly fucking face.
But if you want to check out their respective oratorical styles, look here an’ here .
May 17th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
33
i wish they would both shut the fuck up. if these are our best chances for the country then we are screwed. twenty when are you running for office? sort this out, beat the crap out of them and shit on hearneys chair. now theres some joined up thinking!
May 17th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
34
I have to say that was difficult viewing but if I was to say who came out worst your predictions I think may have been wrong Twenty I think even though I hate the whinging cunt, Bertie did better. Edna as I fondly know him looked like a lost puppy.
May 17th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
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