“You’ll never believe what happened to me earlier”, said Dirty Dave.
“You found somebody who finds your interminable stories some way interesting?”
“Haha, very funny, I’m sure. Now, I was going down the road to buy a permanent marker so I could draw comedy moustaches on the election posters that, for some reason this time around, are much closer to the ground than they ever were before. So I was going along singing to myself, as I do, and a bee flew straight into my mouth and went right down the hatch, so to speak.”
“A bee?”
“Yeah. A bee.”
“Are you sure it was a bee?”
“Positive.”
“And it didn’t sting you?”
“No. It must have been exactly like Luke Skywalker’s torpedo from his rebel fighter which exploded the Death Star. Just straight down the hatch and into my gizzards.”
“So you saw the bee just as it flew down your throat then? Why didn’t you try and cough it up or spit it out?”
“No, I didn’t even notice it at that time.”
“Then how the fuck do know you swallowed a bee?”
“Because I pissed it out about 15 minutes ago.”
“What?”
“Yep, I was standing in there going for a slash when I felt a blockage so I gave a bit of a shove and right out of my Jap’s eye came a bee which then shook itself off and flew out the window.”
“Er…”
“Ha! Imagine it stung somebody now. Not only would they feel the pain of the sting but my piss would go into their bloodstream.”
“Fuck me…”
“Still, it wasn’t as bad as that time I vomited up a live scorpion…”
Sometimes I wish I went to a bar where everybody didn’t know your name.
Totaly unbeelievable. MMMMMMMM might apply for a job with the Sun “newspaper”
You’re loosing it 20… beeyond redemption
- Must be uncomfortable having a bee so near to your fly.
- But how did it get through his entire renal system? It must have been one of those kidney bees.
- And if Dave comes out in hives over the next few days, he’ll know why.
There you go. Three fucking awful comments for the price of one.
Twenty, I think your friend is a dirty fecking little liar
Just because Dirty Dave had a stinger in his helmet, dosen’t mean you have to get a bee in your bonnet about it!….
That’s still nothing like it.
bees in japs eyes,
budgies in gee’s and hamster’s in arse’s
what’s happening to holy catholic ireland?
paul williams tells all in this weeks sundee wurdled
Twenty: I bet this was going to be one of those contrived jokes you come up with now and then, where the ending would have included “O Bee One Kano Bee” …or something similar.
Reminds me of a time a friend of mine got ‘stung’ giving a blowjob to her local greengrocer
that explains the budgie, then.
Twenty “Sometimes I wish I went to a bar where everybody didn’t know your name.” What is wrong with the good aul word pub.
Could be a lounge bar…..
I prefer bar to pub. And I always sit at the bar not in the rest of the ‘pub’, as it were. And Ron’s really is just a bar.
And Lung, cheers for that. Three in ones are great.