The stuff they’re finding in Portlaoise prison is just hilarious. After a search yesterday there was the usual discovery of drugs, syringes, mobile phones, cash and even a budgie which we believed was smuggled in up the chuff of a woman visiting her convict lover.
Now it has emerged that three flat screen TVs and a DVD player have been uncovered. Minister for Justice Michael McDowell will be disgusted after he ordered the search of the prison after a prisoner used a mobile phone to go on the Joe Duffy show and call some fucking cunt a fucking cunt.
However, he might have opened a can of worms here. Who is the only woman in Ireland with a minge big enough to fit three flat screen TVs and a DVD player? That’s right, party colleague Mary Harney who has obviously been making a bit of extra cash on the side by cramming things, Papillon style, into her vagina then selling them in maximum security prisons.
I demand an inquiry.
I agree. She could also have fit them in her mouth though, in fairness…Wouldn’t the budgie have smothered to death in her vagina?
Alex, See comments section of Fatmammycats blog on the Budgie issue to see how the Budgie in pussy can work.
Twenty while it is commendable that you are worried about what sort of things Mary Harney smuggled in to the Prison I am actually more worried about how many prisoners she smuggled out using her colossal snatch.
No wonder she can afford election posters big enough for her to fit into.
I, for one, did not need to read the words “can of worms” in the context of Mary Harney’s flange.
i dont know a man alive who will volunteer to verify your claims
dont even go there as they say in the states
Fine 20, demand an inquiry …. just so long as it doesn’t mean we all have to see her flange
Hold the enquiry in her flange!! Perhaps we will find Shergar and Lord Lucan in there.
TVs, DVDs and budgies – just how big are their cells that they can hide all that?
Whatever about demanding an inquiry…
I demand a demonstration.
Beats the stunt that was common some years back – how many can you fit in a phone box…
With the demise of the public phone box, there’s bound to be demand for an alternative…
I think Harney could start a trend…I for one would like to try smuggle a bird in somewhere, perhaps through customs at JFK, by shoving it up my vagina. Maybe not a bird though, since they are not technically a threat to America’s freedom, and therefore not banned in airports.
You might as well start as you mean to go on. Try and get a condor through.
If a baby can come out, I’m guessing a condor could. I suppose it’s getting it in that would cause problems. You’d need to be roomy and well-worn down there. Maybe this is only a job for women who’ve had more than 4 kids, prostitutes, and overweight Ministers for Health.
“I demand ans inquiry”
I demand a double room with en suite jacuzzi and flat screen tv
In her vagina?? Or generally?
As cavities go, the arse is not to be overlooked…
Harney’s Flange should be a prision. It’d hold them all…
Hello-o-o. I’m on the phone-one-one in Mary Harney’s minge-inge-inge. Can anybody hear me-e-e? Its dark and I’m scared-ed-ed. Come quickly-ly-ly….. the signal is muffled-uffled-uffled.
Head towards the light Walter, don’t touch the walls!
Paris hilton can smuggle her entire entourage into prison with her,she’ll have a great time inside.As for Harney’s minge if prisoners had to get their luxury items out of scary mary’s minge there would be zero crime in Ireland.what a deterrent,but to be honest none of the contraband found was smuggled in a vagina, anus or any other orifice you can fit far more in a paid off prison officers lunch box
She’s been hiding 60 pounds of crack in her pants for years.
Ive been hiding my crack in my pants since I was born
Now we know why it’s called a magic box. You can stick your head in hers, wiggle your ears and they won’t get wet.
Paul williams got an interview with one of the budgies its in this weeks S
fuckin keyboard. Paul williams got an interview with one of the budgies its in this weeks sunday wuurld.
As the saying goes, A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!
can just see it now – in depth investigation by crack reporter exposes bird smuggling ring. jailbird insists is not stool pigeon. etc. etc.
I look at Mary Harney now and I just feel inadequate. :( And I just completely fail to see how it could be done. There would have to be some sort of tiny, tiny snorkel involved wouldn’t there? The egg idea is a good one but surely she’d be risking early hatching – after all a woman must be a good few degrees warmer than a chicken. There’d be yolk and feathers and shell bits everywhere – bleurgh. It’d be like a night of love in the seedier parts of Vegas. Chickens love seed. Plus she’d a chick who’d imprint on her bits (and, God forgive me, her bobs) and follow her around all the livelong day. How would she explain that to a constituent anxious about the holes in his road?
The woman’s taking the whole “with wings” revolution in women’s personal care a bitty far, in my view.
It was easy to smuggle in the budgie, we just put him in the box with the flat screen TV!
Scorchio: it’s actually spelt: “suundee wurdled.”
Sam: “…How would she explain that to a constituent anxious about the holes in his road?”….I’m more concerned about the roads in his hole…
Twenty: I know this is your blog…I’m just filling in for you…keeping the punters happy while you struggle with writers’ block..
not like you Twenty, not to call a cunt a cunt
apologies cantona,
I moved from the northside down the sticks,
im losin my accent
I’m skinning up.
Thinking about MMM (mary’s massive minge).
I think I’m getting turned on.
Is this normal ?
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I just can’t get you out of my head
Girl your minge is all I think about
I just can’t get you out of my head
MMM
I dreamt last night that I was being chased down the street by mary’s massive minge.
I love the film Papillon, good reference there.
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