Words of a feather
Posted on | May 9, 2007 | 28 Comments
So we’re sitting around in Ron’s drinking beer, as regular readers know I am a man of moderation and abstinence, and just shooting the breeze. Naturally the chat touched on the upcoming election, which as we all know is being sponsored by Blogorrah.
“Jesus”, said Jimmy, “have you seen that Liz O’Donnell one out and about?”
“I have yeah. She looks like some kind of monster in her posters.”
“Yeah. If she was coming over the hill you wouldn’t even have to ask what it was that was coming over the hill so obvious is it that she’s a monster.”
“Yeah!”, exclaimed Dirty Dave. “She’s a fucking heiress.”
“Er, right”, I said.
So the conversation moved away from the election and we got talking about RTE’s Six One news.
“Oh, I’m not a fan of Bryan Dobson”, said Stinking Pete, “he’s strikes me as the sort of man who’s rather too fond of his bicycle and we all know the problems that might bring. Especially if your bicycle was stolen by the postman. However, I have to admit I’m rather a fan of Sharon Ní Bheoláin. To me she is a very competent presenter despite wearing some odd outfits from time to time.”
“Yes. For a me is a good news bitch”, said Lucky Luciano.
“Pah”, said Dirty Dave, “she’s a right fucking heiress if you ask me.”
“Er, nobody asked you”, I said.
So then we moved away from the world of television and onto that of radio.
“You know what?”, said Ron, “despite a shaky start I believe the pairing of Claire Byrne and Ger Gilroy on the breakfast show on Newstalk radio are beginning to show signs of developing some chemistry.”
“Yes, I agree”, said Jimmy the Bollix. “Gilroy obviously has a face for radio but his easy going style contrasts well with that of Claire Byrne who probably no longer regrets the complicated move from TV3 despite the fact she has to get up so early in the morning.”
“I like to imagine her doing the show in a nurse’s uniform”, said Splodge, “whilst eating a chocolate eclair and drinking a glass of creme de menthe. Sometimes, instead of a nurse’s uniform, I imagine her reading out her bits while in the bottom half of a pantomime horse’s costume.”
“Ooooh mama! Go horsey, go!”, said Lucky Luciano.
“Give me a break”, said Dirty Dave, “she’s a bigger heiress than any of the rest of them.”
“Right. What the fuck is going on here? What’s with the heiress thing?”
“Well, I was reading some newspapers about yer woman going to jail. They say ‘Heiress Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in prison. I thought it was just a polite way of saying ‘Minging blonde skank’…”
Similar posts
Comments
28 Responses to “Words of a feather”
Leave a Reply
May 9th, 2007 @ 12:25 am
In some circles, Twenty, it is.
The Associated Press actually performed an experiment once, holding a moratorium on Paris Hilton stories. I don’t recall how it ended, or what the purpose was, but I wish more news sources would do so. Permanently.
May 9th, 2007 @ 7:39 am
That’s a bit callous imagine what they will do to a looker like Paris in the showers. Sounds like Jim O’Keeffe and FG have been giving the Americans a few lessons on sentencing. After all its all about the headlines.
May 9th, 2007 @ 8:41 am
The letter accompanying the petition to Governator Schwarzenegger said that Paris shouldn’t serve jail time because she was ‘an inspiration to young women all around the world helping them to aspire to more than their mundane lives’…yeah, don’t send her to jail, it’ll drive down sales of thongs, short dresses and home movie cameras!.
Down with this sort of thing!
May 9th, 2007 @ 9:04 am
What do we think the odds of her really serving time are? Do you think Daddy Hilton is going to let his little angel end up in jail. Maybe jail will become the new rehab in the states?
May 9th, 2007 @ 9:30 am
It was her father that ratted on her, flirty. He’s sick of her skanky ways.
May 9th, 2007 @ 9:46 am
You may be right Flirty, because Rehab is so passé these days.I’d been really looking forward to a spell in a drying out facility in my forties and now these goons have cheapened it.Perhaps I should be considering a smallish crime and a month in the ‘joy’ instead?.Fecking idiots.
I’d say she’s going to get out of it though.I mean look at ‘stroke’ fahy, he managed to delay his sentence for almost a month and he dosn’t own so much as a B&B.
May 9th, 2007 @ 10:09 am
I’m surprised we are giving so much print to a hyped up spoilt little tw*t. Let her rot in prison.
May 9th, 2007 @ 10:56 am
speaking of election posters Twenty.nearly crashed the car on the Naas road, there’s posters of Mary Harney all over the place fucking disgusting.made me want to wash my soul and eyes with dettol.then there’s her slogan “don’t throw it all away” throw what away?,leftovers?
Paris Hilton is a waste of skin but it looks like she gives good head,for a geebag
May 9th, 2007 @ 11:04 am
There’s only one thing more entertaining than a celebrity death and that’s a celebrity imprisonment.
May 9th, 2007 @ 1:00 pm
you mean to tell me that’s not what heiress means?
May 9th, 2007 @ 1:39 pm
Your mates are a bit harsh on Lucious Liz there Twenty. Speaking of election posters (again), have you seen yer man Aongus “Sniper-Eye” O’Snodaigh’s posters? Who the hell would dare say no to him when he comes door-stepping…
May 9th, 2007 @ 3:40 pm
I was once approached by SF who came to my door in Ringsend, i was just running out and into my car.
anyway, they wanted me to sign a petition against the Incinerator. I said that with the way things were going we either stuck the rubbish in the earth or we burnt it and I said it seemed a good Idea to burn it on a big area of concrete in the irish sea. So i said i wouldn’t sign. They were not impressed
So i got in the car and headed off.
Next morning I woke up to find that a tin of paint had been thrown over my car!
May 9th, 2007 @ 4:26 pm
…and thats got got what to do with Paris Hilton WooWoo?
May 9th, 2007 @ 4:37 pm
woo woo are you serious?
May 9th, 2007 @ 4:48 pm
Nothing to do with P.Hilton, but the chat sort of moved onto the election and Aongus “Sniper-Eye” O’Snodaigh. So, it seemed relevant.
Yeah – its true sadly. Course, it could have been anyone and I can’t prove anything. Same with Robert McCarthney, no one knows who killed him. Right?
May 9th, 2007 @ 4:48 pm
I’d wear about five johnnies and a wetsuit while doing it, but I’d still horse it into young Paris.
May 9th, 2007 @ 4:59 pm
Oh, and as an aside, and i know you think i’m biased.
anyone who votes for sinn fein is a cunt!
May 9th, 2007 @ 5:08 pm
same thing happened to me woowoo. fairly sure was sinn fein
http://www.clearconnections.ie/stuf/car.gif
May 9th, 2007 @ 5:13 pm
Porridge, think you’re jumping to conclusions there.Its people like you who give provos a bad name. Next you’ll be saying that baseball isn’t a catholic game and that they should de-commision their bats.
May 9th, 2007 @ 5:16 pm
http://www.clearconnections.ie/stuf/car.gif
haha
May 9th, 2007 @ 5:24 pm
maybe you’re right woowoo – still have knees to jump with. far be it for me to provo-ke any of those lovely people with founded accusations.
May 9th, 2007 @ 5:48 pm
We used to live in Dublin and one evening as I was cooking dinner/helping the children with their homework I answered a knock on the door to be faced with one of the local criminal faction.I nervously asked him if I could help him and he said excitedly Mary Louise is next door I just wanted you to be ready for her to call to you.’This isn’t a good time’ I said, he then asked ‘when would be a good time?’.To which I replied, ‘there would never be a good time’.
I watched our car for a week afterward.
May 9th, 2007 @ 6:55 pm
Getting back to Paris Hilton, I hope some hairy arsed lesser turns her in prison.
May 9th, 2007 @ 9:03 pm
Five johnnies and a wetsuit??? You’d get greater satisfaction from a 30 second microwaved jar of liver than that.
(Cough!) Not that I’d know of course. Just make sure it’s no more than medium heat ….
And our Paris has size eight feet!! Wonder if the clit matches?
May 10th, 2007 @ 1:06 am
Never mind geebag hilton…Am I the only person on the planet that would (quite honestly) rather hammer rusty nails into his micky than listen to Ger smug-ginger-cunt Gilroy??
Answers on a postcard.
May 10th, 2007 @ 9:31 am
Cantona, he used to be pretty good on Off The Ball. But now that you mention it, hes a bit of a tit now.
May 10th, 2007 @ 3:39 pm
Paris Hilton
Twenty:What’s with the heiress thing?” “Well, I was reading some newspapers about yer woman going to jail. They say ‘Heiress Paris Hilton has been sentenced to 45 days in prison. I thought it was just a polite way of saying…
May 11th, 2007 @ 10:56 pm
[...] no, this is [...]