Review of My poo this morning
Posted on | May 2, 2007 | 26 Comments
A review of my poo
Review of My poo this morning
Rated as /5 on May 02 2007 by Twenty Major
Slighty tougher than normal but with a good consistency and a refreshing, nutty aroma. It sank well so I was unable to get a good look at the texture.
Required a reasonable amount of post-push wipeage but definitely not a five or six wiper. Not up there with the magical no wiper when you’ve finished and the paper comes back up as clean as it went down.
Little or no discomfort. All in all a very average poo.
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26 Responses to “Review of My poo this morning”
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May 2nd, 2007 @ 4:27 pm
I am very happy for you. Nothing lifts the spirits and lightens the load like a nice clean and well deposited poo
May 2nd, 2007 @ 4:27 pm
Twenty, you must have had a seriously fucked up childhood to be so obsessed with your regularly recurring themes of excreta and orifices.
May 2nd, 2007 @ 4:29 pm
Nobody can ever say that you’re fulla shit Twenty, that’s for sure!
May 2nd, 2007 @ 4:29 pm
We’re working hard on a pooh-ometer for the site and obviously a photo gallery feature. Check back soon.
May 2nd, 2007 @ 4:42 pm
My childhood was perfectly normal. I don’t know why people wouldn’t take an interest in something they do every day.
May 2nd, 2007 @ 5:57 pm
Let us take a moment to consider those less fortunate than ourselves in issues such as these. Take those, for example, suffering from colitis/crappuchino and consider yourself lucky you dont have to wash down the back of your legs and the rim of the toilet every time you visit the loo. That occasionally happens to me after a heavy, debauched binge session where I should know better than to go so far. Ying and yang I guess. (I have submited this against my better judgement).
Thank you.
May 2nd, 2007 @ 5:58 pm
you could join http://www.ratemypoo.com twenty! (advice: not for the weak hearted or other easily disgusted people)
May 2nd, 2007 @ 6:14 pm
Did it look like Eamonn Dunphy?
May 2nd, 2007 @ 6:19 pm
It was a poo, not a cunt.
May 2nd, 2007 @ 6:35 pm
Its great when it only requires one wipe.
Sometimes i have to get loads of tissue and wet them
and even then it takes 5 or 6 wipes. Its at times like this that I wish I had a bidet. I’ve never used a bidet. Have any of ye? Are they any use?
Glueface will probably jump in here to tell me what a loser I am and that he has bidets in every room of the house and eats steak out of them
May 2nd, 2007 @ 6:43 pm
According to a survey conducted by my old flatmate and his Rugby player friends, the poos where “the paper comes back up as clean as it went down” happen, on average, 13 times a year. Which is why we call it “one of the thirteen” when it happens to us, although your term “magical no wiper” is also cute.
May 2nd, 2007 @ 7:32 pm
I…….just forget it.
May 2nd, 2007 @ 8:56 pm
Some will say that you are still full of shite,but they’r just begruders…
Peadar said that Gluestain might have a lot of bidets and I would say if anyone has them he has, because where he comes from they always had bidets, allbeit improvised ones, if they thought they were going to have a messy one, what they did was they stepped into a ditch, filled they’r wellingtons to the top with water, when they droped they’r trousers they also put the trouser legs outside the boots, when they finished the shit they stud upright squilched up an down a few times in the wellington boots and the cleaning was done, drying was done with whatever foliage was in season, and corduroy had good soakability, so you see they’r not Johny come latelys after all!!…
May 3rd, 2007 @ 12:05 am
If you used more than one square to wipe
the mud button you’re a Gaia raper.
Ask Sheryl Crow
May 3rd, 2007 @ 12:42 am
any recommendations as to the best bogroll or folding techniques? have found 4 or 5 squares of andrex folded in two the best option as it prevents the dreaded finger push through, and still leaves a handy amount free for extracting without the need for marigolds.
May 3rd, 2007 @ 1:38 am
” magical no wiper when you’ve finished and the paper comes back up as clean as it went down
aka the immaculate shit
May 3rd, 2007 @ 6:41 am
shite , shite , shite , shite, never mind! Tomorrow’s friday you can gon on the piss……
May 3rd, 2007 @ 9:09 am
oooh Man… bring on the election so Twenty will forget about his poo and write about something that will not cause me to nearly heave up my breakfast.
May 3rd, 2007 @ 11:01 am
I like to ruffle the paper up a little..it makes it softer.I only ever use the good stuff as alas! those magical poos are few and far between.
I hat the toilet paper in some pubs and restaurants..it dosn’t really wipe so much as smear and it hurts like hell.
May 3rd, 2007 @ 11:26 am
Had an engaging argument with my mate in the pub a while ago about the advantages of standing to wipe (my preferred method) to shoving your hand with paper through your laegs and having a grope round below (his technique). Personally I can’t get the leverage for a good wipe without standing. Unless its a really runny one and then sitting is obviously better.
May 4th, 2007 @ 2:45 am
Sinking poo is protein waste. Floating poo is carbohydrate waste.
Don’t ask me how i know.
*shudder!*
May 4th, 2007 @ 3:43 pm
this was sent to me by a mate this morning – thought you’d appreciate it with your lavatorial sense of humour. Har Har!
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have
demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the
year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli)
bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we don’t run that
risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because
alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and
/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop
Wine =Health
Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water
and be full of shit.
There’s no need to thank me for this valuable information; I’m doing it as
a public service.
Sharon R Sikora, RN, MM, CNOR
Executive Director, Peri-op Services
Saddleback Memorial Medical Center
24451 Health Center Dr
Laguna Hills CA 92653
May 4th, 2007 @ 6:09 pm
As an expert perhaps you can settle an arguement;
Is it best to wipe North to South or South to North?
May 5th, 2007 @ 12:26 am
This mythical no-wiper is easily achieved. Simply take two days of a course of antibiotics (preferably Klacid). This’ll kill excess bacteria in the gut and result in more stodgy (and dry) stools. The only problem is that they may require about 50% more effort to squeeze out. The effect will last for a few weeks, saving precious paper (you needn’t even buy bogroll for the duration) and working those underused stomach muscles.
May 9th, 2007 @ 11:53 pm
a rough day at the orifice. don’t you just hate the paperwork.
May 9th, 2007 @ 11:54 pm
a rough day at the orifice. don’t you just hate the paperwork?