Vote for us
Posted on | April 30, 2007 | 51 Comments
“Vote for us. Sure aren’t we great already and change is always messy and horrible and sometimes sticky and nobody wants that. Yes, we’ve made mistakes but who better to make amends for the mistakes than us? We know how we’ve fucked up so we know best how to fix it. Forget crime, poison water, dodgy payments, rising inflation, €5 pints, drive by shootings and all the rest. Just forget it. Go on. There you go. There’s that smile! Ahhhh…” – Fianna Fail
“Vote for us. We’ll abolish stamp duty and reform the shoddy healthcare system. You all know the current lot are a bunch of shysters and while we might be like swapping €1 for another €1, our coin will be shiny and new. This country needs a change and we might just be the best of a bad lot. And Bertie is a cunt. Oh, no he isn’t. We didn’t say that. ” – Fine Gael
“Vote for us. We’ll help our mate Enda to become Taoiseach and we’ll bring back the halcyon days of the party when we had the most amusingly named leader of any others. From this day forth Pat Rabbite will be known as Sandy Crack or Roger Miflaps in honour of Dick Spring” – Labour
“Vote for us. There’s really no good reason why you should but we like to put across an image of intellectual superiority and you can be intellectually superior if you mark our card – we even have the celebrity candidate of the election. Yes, that’s right. That bloke who played piano on the Late, Late toy show. Whatever his name is” – PDs
“Vote for us. We’ll get tax rebates for people who recycle more and get more bus lanes and invent non-polluting fuels and fill the canal with spring water and introduce more bicycles and lower our carbon emmisions and all sorts of cool stuff like that. Think of your children and your children’s children and their children’s children. If we don’t do something they’ll all be mutants. And not good mutants will cool powers. Just fucking deformed like Gerry Ryan” – The Green Party
“Vote for me/us. As an independent candidate I am not beholden to any grand party design. I’m my own man/woman and I will listen to you and campaign tirelessly on your behalf. I hold no truck with any of the rest of those sly fuckers…unless of course I’m needed to make up some kind of coalition. Then I will only do what’s right for my constituents and I would be able to do more as part of the government.” – Johnny/Jenny Independent
“Vote for us. Somehow we’ve managed to make you all forget we’re the political wing of a terrorist organisation that is responsible for hundreds of deaths and murders, that has brought pain and misery to thousands and thousands of people and is now a racketeering gang that would make Al Capone proud” – Sinn Fein.
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51 Responses to “Vote for us”
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April 30th, 2007 @ 12:19 am
The campagain has only started so there is still time for you could to put your self up for election and i am sure fellow bloggers in every constituency would join in the Twenty major party.
I dont have a vote but i will be at home on the 24th and i will be the first in line to impersonate someone so that i can vote for you. Ill vote early and often just buy me a pint after ah go on you know you want too.
April 30th, 2007 @ 12:36 am
Lets not forget about the most important vote of all!! Which counties are gonna make it onto the new monopoly game for Ireland. Check out http://www.monopoly.ie/vote.aspx . Now thats something to get excited about!!
April 30th, 2007 @ 1:08 am
Bit better than Giuliana..he said, “vote for Repuglicans and live….vote for Democrats and die!.”
erm, let me see, who was President on 9/11? …hmmmm, oh yeah a Repuglican. And who was Mayor of New York. ahhhh, I remember…another Repuglican.
Politicians are all cunts!!!!!
April 30th, 2007 @ 3:44 am
Sandy Crack, tee hee but that’s a terible image to leave in a mans head. Rabbite with a big gee – yeuch
April 30th, 2007 @ 9:04 am
Sadly confirms the old RCP/WRP slogan ‘If voting could change anything it would be made illegal’
Still, there’s a bit of fun to be had with the canvassers in the run up asking the most awkward and embarrassing questions for their party you can think of. I put a list up on the back of my front door last night.
April 30th, 2007 @ 9:53 am
And Sinn Fein have made the media forget that their political philosophy is still Stalinist Communist and their only allies in the MEP are Stalinist Communist leftovers from pre-1989 Eastern Europe.
“Vote for us. Somehow we’ve managed to make you all forget we’re the political wing of a terrorist organisation that is responsible for hundreds of deaths and murders, that has brought pain and misery to thousands and thousands of people and is now a racketeering gang that would make Al Capone proud” – Sinn Fein.”
April 30th, 2007 @ 10:04 am
”Somehow we’ve managed to make you all forget we’re … responsible for hundreds of deaths, that has brought pain and misery to thousands and thousands of people and [we're] … a racketeering gang that would make Al Capone proud”.”
sounds like Fianna Fáil to me. sorry yacuncha. :D
April 30th, 2007 @ 10:15 am
Stalinist Communist? Oh come on. Have you no abilitiy to think for yourself. Stop listening to what the meeja say about Sinn Fein and take a look at their record when in power in NI. Hardly a socialist revolution was it?
April 30th, 2007 @ 10:28 am
See, that’s why I love Sinn Fein. They’re a bunch of crooks and they only half-bother trying to hide it. If I’m going to vote for crooks I might as well vote for crooks who don’t hide their shite under a bushel or something like that.
Also, Gerry Adams = Santa. How can you go wrong?
April 30th, 2007 @ 10:34 am
You are on Blogorrah today.
April 30th, 2007 @ 10:44 am
Jesus, whats with the anti Sinn Fein stance down south??
I can believe that Dubs like Twenty are just West Brits, but its surprising to such hostility from the rest of the Country.
Who the Fuck created your little republic in the first place?
April 30th, 2007 @ 11:02 am
Yacuncha,
MEP stands for Member of the European Parliament you stupid, good for nothing, mindless, cunt.
April 30th, 2007 @ 11:05 am
Niall,
Violence is ok if it was a long time ago, you see! But if it’s too recent and you can see how bloody and messy it is, then it’s oh so awful and shocking. Hypocritical, snobby, fuck-faces.
April 30th, 2007 @ 11:10 am
Jesus, whats with the anti Sinn Fein stance down south??
I think it’s to do with them being murderous cunts.
April 30th, 2007 @ 11:20 am
I got off a plane from Denmark yesterday evening and for the entire drive from Dublin to Galway saw very little apart from gobshites putting posters up on lamposts.In the light of this I’ll vote for the party that promises me the right to carry a gun
April 30th, 2007 @ 11:27 am
I think it’s to do with them being murderous cunts.
thank you
April 30th, 2007 @ 11:27 am
FF are murderous cunts. The PDs are murderous cunts. This goverment has killed a lot of people. Cunts.
April 30th, 2007 @ 11:43 am
SF and the reason they are cunts.
They murder. Alot. And they cover up murders alot.Robert McCarthney.
the bodies of the disappeared. I’m sure the families would like them back.
they are racists/facists. Unconvinced? Well, a few years back the government decided that the countrys population had changed a bit, you know, 100,000 poles, thousands of chinese atc, seemed like a good idea to have a police force that refleted the population. But there was 1 stumbling block, in order to become a Garda you had to be able to speak Irish!!!! So, the government brought in a bill to get rid of the necessitity for a Garda to be able to speak Irish. Go on have a guess which party voted against it?? Go on, knock yourself out.
Have you any knowledge about SF at all?? Read up on them you plank, they are Communists.All well and good, but just fucking admit it. My girlfriends dad is a commie in Italy. no big fucking deal.
they like their foot soilders unemployed, try to keep them that way as it means they have a free election/volunteer machine, just dying to work for Ireland.
After all their murder, what do we have?? A british devolved parliment in the north, guaranteeing their britishness forever. As has been said, Sunningdale for slow learners.
Columbia. FARC.Cunts.
That Frank Connolly tit, we know you were in the army council, and in Columbia. Don’t we have fucking pictures of you. I met you in 1988 and knew it even then.
You’ve ruined my countrys flag.
And you’ve hijacked my football team.
April 30th, 2007 @ 11:57 am
Murderous cunts. And there was me reading my history book about Wars of Independence, Civil Wars, Easter Risings and what not and beliving the IRA were an Irish Republican Army defending our country because we were invaded and subjected to complete and utter bollox by the Brits.
I really should forget the history books and just read the Star going forward. My life would be easier.
April 30th, 2007 @ 12:00 pm
And there was me reading my history book about Wars of Independence, Civil Wars, Easter Risings and what not and beliving the IRA were an Irish Republican Army defending our country because we were invaded and subjected to complete and utter bollox by the Brits.
Yeah, because Birmingham, Manchester, London, Omagh etc really furthered the cause…
April 30th, 2007 @ 12:13 pm
War Twenty. It’s a crock of shit. It’s worse than anything, worse than Stinking Pete shitting in your pint without you knowing and then you taking a sip.
April 30th, 2007 @ 12:14 pm
War. What is it good for, Go Maith?
April 30th, 2007 @ 12:17 pm
Not war. Murder. Taking a bunch of workmen off a bus, letting the catholics go, lining up all the protestants and killing them. You call that a war?
April 30th, 2007 @ 12:51 pm
Absolutely nothing like, Twenty.
woowoo – Do you know what happens in a war ? Have you been in a war ? You’ve been in a fight surely for some miscellaneous reason. You know these things get messy.
Come on now. I didn’t fall out of the sky.
I’m off now. I know where this is going. It’s one of those things that goes nowhere.
April 30th, 2007 @ 12:54 pm
Absolutely nothing…say it again.
April 30th, 2007 @ 1:17 pm
Lads you cant go and use war as an excuse for doing what you like. Jesus if that was the case why would sinn fein be so anti bush.
Lets say for example you took a load of physically and mentally challenged children and put them in a building near a war zone front line. You then fired two rockets at your enemy form the building before running away knowing that you enemy will blow the fuck out of the Building.
The result your enemy is responsible for killing young children and you have a great propaganda weapon. Does calling it war justify the using of children as cannon fodder for propaganda? These guys were trained by current and former so called Irish Nationalists? The same Nationalists that took the name of the organisation that did get Ireland or 26 counties of it freedom from The British
April 30th, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
Getting back to the main topic , Twenty are you putting your name into the hat ?
April 30th, 2007 @ 1:23 pm
What this country needs is a Monster Raving Loony Party…..but then the Greens fill that criteria quite well.
April 30th, 2007 @ 1:46 pm
I agree with you McDara. And I totally agree with how propaganda manipulates. Propaganda is two thirds of any war.
So long as one side isn’t called an army and the other side are called terrorists, then you can call it anything. Oh yeah, but then it’s the War on Terrorism.
You’re fucked whatever way you go to work really if the propaganda machine isn’t singing your tune.
Definitely my last post on this highly unoriginal conversation I’ve had a million times before and each time it bores me more.
Post again, Twenty. Ignore the Election till it’s over and write a novella for us instead on how Dirty Dave once gave Lucky Luciando a blow job by accident after 27 vodka and red bulls or something.
April 30th, 2007 @ 2:25 pm
Gomaith – In case you didn’t know, i’ll spell it out for you. It was never a war, SF might like to call it a war, but we all know it was a Terrorist campaign.
April 30th, 2007 @ 3:01 pm
woowoo- You’ll be telling me that those millions of Irish people who died in the Famine died because of no potatoes next.
April 30th, 2007 @ 3:23 pm
There’s a potato shortage?
No. Not again. NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN.
April 30th, 2007 @ 3:29 pm
*throws a pint glass*
Come on you cunts! Let’s have you.
April 30th, 2007 @ 3:43 pm
Who threw that? You f*cking b*stards. I’ll have to go to an under funded hospital to get stitched up now.
April 30th, 2007 @ 4:01 pm
Well well well – have to say I agree with you WooWoo. Just goes to show even a pair of cunts like us have some decency…there’s hope for Ireland yet!
April 30th, 2007 @ 4:03 pm
Easy with the glasses. You’ll take someones eye out and they’ll be war. All the politicians have blogs now on that rockthevote.ie site. Enda posted recently, posted his first blog, mind. He’s getting to grips with the lingo.
April 30th, 2007 @ 4:05 pm
Oh, and Gobjob – you are just another deluded grandiose ‘RA Wannabe. Your boring fucking life and your inate inability to make something of yourself leads you to fantasise about violence, mayhem and death in the inane hope that you will feel as if you have some significance….Get a real life and find some REAL hero’s. The guy who slaves on an assembly line to feed his family would be a good role model for the likes of you – if you had to work for a living and were not living off the public tit in Ireland but were over here, you’d be Salvation Army Hostel material for sure….cop on yourself and make something of yourself you saddo!
April 30th, 2007 @ 4:25 pm
A real hero!!!! A blue collar worker who can’t afford a new SUV??? Surely some mistake.
April 30th, 2007 @ 4:43 pm
Gluaistean – Am I Gobjob?
I don’t live in Ireland. I don’t support the IRA either. And I certainly don’t have any heroes.
April 30th, 2007 @ 5:10 pm
The case against war:
- There should have been no Revolution in 1916, the British surely had the best interests if the Irish in their hearts, why else would they want to keep them as a valued member of the empire?
- There should have been no WWII, surely the Germans had the best interests of the entire world at heart and their ‘European’ approach to the Jewish question would have won the praise of Muslims everywhere and certainly have avoided the entire ‘Palestinian’ problem.
- There should have been on Korean War, the people of the southern end of the peninsula have been deprived of the peace and prosperity enjoyed in the communist utopia in the north.
- There should have been no massive swelling of the ranks of the PIRA and demands for defense of Catholics after ‘Bloody Sunday’, after all the Shankill Butchers were merely misunderstood and posed no threat to the common taig, only pushy, mouthy taigs. Those would the ones that squealed as they were hung on meat-hooks.
There certainly should be no war, where is Neville Chamberlain now that we need him??
April 30th, 2007 @ 5:39 pm
Gluaistean,
Call it war or a terrorist campaign or anything you like, it was still funded by gobshite,plastic,moronic Micks in America;.
April 30th, 2007 @ 5:49 pm
God bless Sinn Fein. As a good Catholic boy, I prefer to buy my cocaine, speed, discount cigarettes, cheap petrol, extacy and whores from them. You’re not proposing that I buy my essentials from a bunch of g*dd*am Protestants, are you?
April 30th, 2007 @ 6:00 pm
Like you Daithi,I get all my gear from them, Slab Murphy is my main man, he used to write in here I wonder what happened to him?
April 30th, 2007 @ 6:09 pm
Good ‘on you, pot. Ol’ Slab is working in Iraq on an oil platform, he always had a thing for petrol. Claimed that he was a ‘wealthy pig smuggler’, but that was just part of the sex trade. Petrol was where it’s at.
BTW, I forgot that they also supply my pot, pot.
April 30th, 2007 @ 6:27 pm
Don’t go giving up on Labour there now, Twenty, cos Dick Spring’s eternal.
April 30th, 2007 @ 8:29 pm
How many ways do I hate Mary Harney?
Fucking hundreds of millions of ways, actually.
That’s how many.
May 2nd, 2007 @ 11:50 am
So are you lot arguing about the War of independance or the provos kneecapping people and blowing up pubs? Bit of a difference methinks.
May 2nd, 2007 @ 11:51 am
“How many ways do I hate Mary Harney?
Fucking hundreds of millions of ways, actually.
That’s how many.”
One way for every pound of flab.
May 3rd, 2007 @ 4:36 pm
How to vote in Irelands General Election
Ok so the election has been called in Ireland and in 3 weeks time will all be over. Amazingly the placards, handshakes, leaflets, canvassers are out in full swing and this is why I, who is not a scholar of…
May 7th, 2007 @ 4:12 am
I might vote for the fella that TAKES DOWN his fuckin campaign posters HIMSELF after the election. And recycles them. Jaysus I’d love to see …Bertie…[sunmit name of choice here] out there with a stepladder and a pair of scissors, sweaty pits an all cutting down every single individual poxy poster with his own lilly white hands… actually I still wouldn’t vote for the prick but it’d be a sight to see……. and we wouldn’t have to look at his sad weatherbeaten face at the side of the roads for months afterwards. Though in my opinion that’s where it belongs – at the side of the road. We could always hope he’d fall under a truck I suppose.
May 7th, 2007 @ 9:11 am
I can’t believe those fuckwit PD wannabes have put frank McNamara, gaybo’s pianist (I said pianist!) up as a candidate. Jaysus…he’s gone very grey, don’t you think? Those years of tinkling the ivories on the late late must have brought out the urge in him to voice the PD manifesto.
But they missed a trick…they could have teamed him up with his erstwhile wife – Teresa Lowe (remember her?…”Where in the World?”…what a shite quiz show!! shit, the flashbacks!…nooooooooooooo!!!) and had a celebrity lovematch joint campaign. That’d get my vote…for the sheer balls of it.
who’s next? Derek Mooney?