The final solution
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on April 25th, 2007
I’m torn between writing about the news that examinations commission is concerned about the poor grammar, punctuation and syntax of Junior Cert students and those people down in Wexford who killed themselves then killed their children.
2 b hnst its a fckn shck situatn dat pll say cud hav bn fxd if da pigs or hse had gon 2 da house. Den u hav 2 kwstn da parents. Wot knd of cnt kills 2 kids?
And is it any wonder at all that standards of English are so low? Do kids these days even read books? Strikes me they do all their reading online and instead of reading newspapers or decently written articles they’re all reading each others Bebo and MySpace profiles which, if you’ve ever had the misfortune to do likewise, would make you think you’re dealing with complete simpletons. It’s then no surprise that if the only stuff they read is shite like that and text messages from their mates that it’s reflected in how they write.
Lots of ppl wil luk 2 point fingrs of blame at any1 dey can fnd for dis ting in wxfrd but no 1 expcts any 1 to kill dere own kids. U jst hav to accpt dat sum ppl are fkn mad and get on wiv life.
So, what’s the solution. How do we increase the standards of English and literacy amongst a group of people whose attention span is lower than your average Taoiseach’s morals? How can you reach out to young women who think that Paris Hilton isn’t a complete and utter geebag? How can you convince young lads who want to go out and drink beer and cider in fields that they should read a book some time instead of playing xBox or frapping off to porn on the internet?
“No, honestly. You’ll enjoy your free time much better if you put down that joypad and read this. I swear to God ‘Of Mice and Men’ is much more fun than Gears of War XII”.
It’s a non-winner.
Dora da fckn explrer. Fckn heartbreakn.
It would be interesting if you would write about people that kill themselves and then their childeren.
I’m not a grammer specialist and I rely heavely on google, ask oxford, and the internal spellchecker. As english is not my native language I absolutely hate it when people abbreviate their words.
For a foreigner I have an above average vocabulary in english but some words just go beyond my knowledge and if people start abbreviating them it’s even harder to understand. Let alone learn proper English from natives.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:52 am
It’s not just kids that are reading less these days. Look at people on any of our awful public transport. They don’t want to work for reward, they want it now and high tech and clean and trendy, possibly with a laptop and usually with one of those horrible ipods. Granted it’s hard to read when there’s some tosser down the back blaring Gwen the hot bitch but shit singer Stefani WOO-OOO out of their overpriced and garish looking mobile phone/media convergence wunderkit.
But still. Books aren’t cool. Role models are generally dim, look at footballers, musicians and Bertie - they have all the coherence of a bunch of drunken crippples. Of course there’s also the anti-intellectualism that these people spout, the models who take pride in ‘never having read a book’ and the rock stars who think people who to college are inherently awful wankers. While there is a lot of truth in that, it makes me sad. There’s a whole world out there, one that helps us make sense of the ipods and footballers and models, the whole conceited bunch of them. A lot of novelists are muppets but some are genuinely cool. Orwell has more swagger than the top 40 put together.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:07 am
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Two stories but they both point back to parents. Whatever about the Wexford thing, that was a fuck-up, maybe, but the guy was obviously an absolute looper, and it’s easy to point the finger after the fact. If he’d been interrupted last weekend, he could’ve just waited until next weekend and done it then.
You can sock it to parents for the reading thing though. It’s easy to stick your child in front of a DVD or an Xbox, not so easy to take the time to sit and read with them. We do it, and it takes a lot of fucking effort when you get home from a hard day’s blogging to read to your kids when a much easier alternative is to space out in front of the tv with them.
It works though. My little girl loves books, because she spends so much time with them. We know there are a ton of quick fix distractions, so we try to make sure she has a balance.
If this comes across as foolish, or preachy and high and mighty, to people, well, fuck off. It’s hard work. You have to do it every single day. There’s no short-term payoff, but it comforts me to know my kids aren’t going to grow up to be incoherent imbeciles.
April 25th, 2007 at 11:12 am
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There’s no short-term payoff, but it comforts me to know my kids aren’t going to grow up to be incoherent imbeciles.
Exactly Kav, give them the chance you never had.
April 25th, 2007 at 11:14 am
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It’s a disgrace blaming the HSE or the Goverenment or the church, or the Gardai for those deaths in Wicklow. Nobody could have prevented what happened. Ok they were close to being able to intervene but with nothing completely tangible to go on, nobody was authorised to knock down the door of the house if nobody answered if or when anyone came knocking.
It’s sad, but no person alive or Gov body is to blame.
April 25th, 2007 at 11:14 am
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By the way, I also love to kill things on my 360. I don’t think one pastime needs to be ignored in favour of another.
April 25th, 2007 at 11:15 am
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give them the chance you never had.
U cnut
April 25th, 2007 at 11:15 am
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Bring back the strap.
Although in fairness, the belt was out of the Christian Brothers before I got there, phew.
Discipline and encouragement. life is too easy.
Their minds are weak from not being challenged. A weak mind will always take the easy option and stay away from books and abbreviate their words. cos itz ez.
April 25th, 2007 at 11:16 am
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Sorry I meant Wexford!
April 25th, 2007 at 11:16 am
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ps I love games too. But I read a ton as well
April 25th, 2007 at 11:18 am
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BTW
WTF d u mean “those people down in Wexford who killed themselves then killed their children.”
April 25th, 2007 at 11:23 am
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It was a tragedy what happened and the guy was obviously nuts.
But the HSE were aware there was problem and were due to call to the house on Monday. How fucked up is that?
The guy is cracking up, we better check on him. Opps its friday evening, sure we’ll do it Monday. How much cracking up can he do in 2 days?
April 25th, 2007 at 11:34 am
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“those people down in Wexford who killed themselves then killed their children.”
Who said ghosts weren’t evil scrawny littlke feckers with cottage cheese where their teeth should be
And what ’s worng with ‘Dora the Explorer’ - my kid loves it and he’s picking up Spanish
April 25th, 2007 at 11:56 am
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I know it’s terrible. I heard that they left a note but no one could understand it.
April 25th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
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I know, it’s terrible. I heard that they left a note but nobody could understand it.
April 25th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
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Its definatly a desaster that so meny kids outthere can’not spel for shit and there grammer is allso fuckin atroshuss!!!!!1 >:-( But their a compltely lost caws Twnety and anybody nows this!! We may aswell gave up on em and focuss on the new babys. There the future! :@)
April 25th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
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If we could teach the English how to talk and the Irish how to listen, society would quite civilized.
Oscar Wilde…
April 25th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
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Fck th lotterz yaz…yer all tlkn shyte. Wot we nd is a gud cullin’. N e scmbag ova 13 an unda 25 shd b toppd.
Sid..wots “worng”..as i luked in me buke of ow t tlk shyte n cnt fnd it.
April 25th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
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It’s all about compromise. You say to you’re child, “I’ll let you go drinking cider in a field after you’ve read 1984″.
April 25th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
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Language is a living thing, it changes and evolves. In fifty years it will be a multimedia language made up of pictures, clips, music and words. Stop being such an old moan - get with the kids.
April 25th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
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On literacy, I read to my two boys every night and we love that time.They are both excellent at reading because they enjoy it. and to do a Kav, I’d like to think I gave that to them.
On Wexford, Jesus.
April 25th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
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It’s a pretty sad state of affairs alright. I have to say though, even before the writing, comes the observation and oral communication. We’ve had our share of illiterate great writers, who had their tales documented by others from the art of oral story telling.
I think this generation have lost the art of bullshit, or the willingness to run with whatever is being chatted about. Because there’s a shorter period of time between when you talk to people because of mobile phones and texts, when you meet them you have fuck all to say. No good stories. Nada.
It could be the best story ever but delivered in a text ? Wasted of fucking typing. Insead of typing the text just stick your fingers up your hole instead because it would achieve more.
April 25th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
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Dale “worng” is wot inappropriate comments are!
April 25th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
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Heartbreaking is right!
In the UK, people are afraid of the social services, because they take kids out of ANY suspicious situation straight away, then ask questions later.
At least those little innocent children would be alive if that had happened.
To just stand back and let it happen, that’s typical of the Irish non existent social system.
April 25th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
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You know what, I’m not excusing anyone, but the UK’s record on helping innocent children is not exactly perfect either, as that poor child beaten and starved by her ‘aunt’ proved a few years ago or more recently that evil religious bitch who abused the three children in her care. No system is perfect.
April 25th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
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Was talking to the boss the other day when he showed me a job application he’d had sent to him. It was all written in txt spk!
April 25th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
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O Really, O’Reilly?
And yippee, from my experience of the UK, I think its system has got just as many faults as Irelands. And that bit about taking kids out of any suspicious situations is definitely not true. You should see the state of some of the families in my area.
April 25th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
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its just the notion that nothing could be done cause it was the weekend that sounds fucked up
April 25th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
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You’d think that the Guardi and HSE would have thought that something wasn’t quite right about two people buying four coffins on a friday afternoon, and it not anywhere near Hallowe’en, or did they think there was some irish trading law that didn’t allow the sale of coffins on the week end?????
Ignorant Buraucratic Lame-brains….
April 25th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
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Yeah, no bigger pisser than “when you get home from a hard day’s blogging” and you find that the young mutt has spend all day at the computer.
April 25th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
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“Spent”. Sorry, my English sucks.
April 25th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
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Read Irishthirysomething and you’ll know the cause of all of this happy horseshit about poor language skills. “Get down with the kids”. Yeah! People like that don’t want to grow up, they live in the world of Peter Pan and consider themselves cool dudes who are their childrens pals, that’s why they act as children act and they are the ones who should get a foot up their asses. Shitheads.
April 25th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
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Since guns weren’t used and the kids were smothered, we’ll have to attribute it to the damn ‘pillow culture’ in Ireland.
April 25th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
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Pillows don’t kill people. People kill people.
It’s my right to be able to buy as many pillows as I want.
April 25th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
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You could tell them that playing with their joypads will make their palms hairy. It’s worked down the generations, why shouldn’t it now. But you’ll say “Ah Sam, kids today are far more sophisticated. They know a bit of joypad action won’t make them blind either.” But still. There’s something just so horrible and what-iffy about the thought of prickly little hairs starting to break through your palms that might well cause a few young souls to put away their game-pieces and take up The Old Man And The Sea (I think priests and manky paedosailors have been trying the same line for years too, mind). But this is also the age of The X Files and improbable sci-fi which the kids lap right up. So all said, I reckon the shame-and-hair way is still the way to go - same as it ever was.
April 25th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
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pillows are too readily available
April 25th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
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My manager uses text speak and no grammar and punctuation when sending emails out to staff. DAMN that is annoying. She does it in texts too but I make allowances - it is after all ‘text speak’ - but God damn it!
April 25th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
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Every hotel I stayed at in Ireland had pillows. To escape, I tried the B&B’s. Pillows everywhere. On the beds, on the couches, even on the chairs.
I watched “Angela’s Ashes”. Boy skinnies up the drainpipe to watch naked girls with those ‘floppy things’ throwing pillows at each other. Obviously he had stumbled onto a clandestine murder cult.
April 25th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
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Loco Lobo, you obviously don’t have a sense of humour. Irishflirtysomething was joking, ya idiot.
April 25th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
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In the words of one HSE Principal Psychologist (who shall remain nameless) “lwr yer xpktashns”
April 25th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
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I killed my kids too, then I killed myself. Spooky coincidence. I didn’t live in Wexford tho. I lived in Mountshannon. So maybe not.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
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A couple of years ago the prinary school down here in Mountshannon was threatened with closure. Not enough kids was the excuse. We campaigned and marched and even got a petition (75 signatures, not bad) and in the end you know what those fuckers did? Brought a dozen pikey traveller brats in to make the school ‘viable’. We pulled our kids out sharp and that fucking dump closed down.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
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Let’s compare with guns anything used to kill people, because everything is as lethal as a gun.
Ah yes, every week people in Ireland are killed accidently by pillows, while in the more violent urban culture of the US, drive-by pillowings are a daily occurrence.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
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what about cushions? might be smaller but they are easier to conceal and have tassells and ornamental stitching and other lethal stuff on them. where do you think they got “cushion the blow” from?
April 25th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
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Since they weren’t killed with guns, apparently they’re not dead then.
April 25th, 2007 at 11:55 pm
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Besides, with such a violent pillow culture, how can anyone be surprised? Truly though, it’s a real shame that stuff like this happens. I sincerely want to express my shock and sadness©.
April 26th, 2007 at 12:28 am
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Why hasn’t the PDs or Labour called for an independent investigation into whether these suiciders in Wexford were members of the Heaven’s Gate cult or some other non-Catholic religious cult?
There could be many more of them living down laneways in Enniscorthy or Donegal or even Leitrim.
Was Hale-Bopp near Ireland over the weekend?
Time for a tribunal I’d say before these alien Commie cults sap the precious bodily fluids of the youth of Ireland.
April 26th, 2007 at 2:01 am
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Exposed:A Pillow Industrial Complex which controls the Irish government has been planning a false flag operation involving flying 2 RC planes into the Spire.This will then be used as a pretext to start a pillow fight with a third world country in order to secure they’re untapped feather resources thus creating more profits for the PIC and fuelling a pillow culture in this country.watch this space
April 26th, 2007 at 6:49 am
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Yacuncha said:
Why hasn’t the PDs or Labour called for an independent investigation into whether these suiciders in Wexford were members of the Heaven’s Gate cult or some other non-Catholic religious cult?
Sounds more likely it was a Catholic cult. Don’t know many other religions that you’d rather be dead than be a member of….
April 27th, 2007 at 4:12 am
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Though all this pillow talk is starting to sound creepy….
April 27th, 2007 at 4:14 am
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Eolaí said:
Let’s compare with guns anything used to kill people, because everything is as lethal as a gun
Even a straw? Ah no get away witcha! A fucking straw??
April 27th, 2007 at 4:16 am
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Nah, don’t believe it. Not straws.
April 27th, 2007 at 4:17 am
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