Texts I never send
Posted on | April 23, 2007 | 37 Comments
Dear Texts I never send,
have you considered the idea of actually sending some of these texts? You never know your luck, you might get some and thus not spend all day writing fucking text messages to yourself.
cheers,
Twenty
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37 Responses to “Texts I never send”
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April 23rd, 2007 @ 2:59 pm
Maybe he’s poor. There are 125 texts he never sent in there, that’s a pile of money saved by any man’s reckoning.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 3:00 pm
Some of them are longer than 160 characters too. They’d cost double.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 3:22 pm
He’s not as bad as this Sinn Fain fellow that lived near me, he used to send pornographic messages to his own answering machine, when he’d finished a days canvassing for party votes, he’d go home he’d listen to his own dirty messages while having a wank!…
April 23rd, 2007 @ 3:54 pm
It’ll be made into a book and sold in Airports. People buy that shit.
I thought of another thing that irrates me today. People who say “refer to my previous e-mail” and don’t have the courtesy to attach said previous email. Fair enough if it was directly preceeding but if it was a few months ago….
There was probably a reason I didn’t deal with it in the first instance. It’s a bit smart arse as well.
Some people have no clue how to send emails. A well written e-mail will get you out of doing work over and over again.
Use it well and wisely. That’s what it’s for. Not for starting imaginary internet fights and stressing the head of yourself with smarty pants antics.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 4:12 pm
He must be a friend of GlueStains, he’s got a text in there, that says..I owe you a steak..
April 23rd, 2007 @ 4:33 pm
Text Message from size ten to a Ballymun coke Whore he’s stalking ‘AND I love children! – as a matter of fact thats what my last stay in the ‘Joy was for!”
Oh you do amuse me – almost as much as the disposable income I enjoy : ) Maybe you can help me out here actually – should I buy a newer SUV this year, or step up to a Humvee a bit earlier than I intended. It’s been a good year even after Taxes – and even they help the War so its ALL good : )
April 23rd, 2007 @ 5:04 pm
One of his texts says..I smiled quietly today when you called me Henry, now we know why he can’t send them texts, he’s a fucking vacume cleaner!
April 23rd, 2007 @ 5:17 pm
What a pathetically sad and lonely fuck this poor chap is. And judging by the number of comments on his site, it looks like things are going to stay that way for the foreseeable future.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 5:22 pm
Tjeez, I hate texting. Takes me forever. And then this guy comes along and not only stores them on his phone and not sent them, he’s also retyping them on his blog.
pfff. what a load of hassle. I rather send text messages from my vodafone webtexts on a pc than I have to use my phone.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 5:50 pm
Sad person indeed, probably made it all up. Pathetic.
People who make up things to make themselves seem important. Even sadder are people who can’t keep their business to themselves and spout on about themselves or their percieved status, as if they are actually better than other people or further on up whatever ladder they are on.
Still though, my guess is its all pure fantasy. At least we could call you a nut then, but if its true, well then, you’re just a show off, and no one likes show offs Vroom-vroom. Not even the whores you obivously have to pay or the desperate women you have to ply with champagne.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 6:18 pm
So Twenty – when are you getting a twitter account so we can see the texts you never send eh? ;)
April 23rd, 2007 @ 6:30 pm
pricks who feel the need to boast about what they earn are generally insecure arseholes. They think everyone is earning more than them but there not going to let anyone know.
I’m off home for my dinner, probably a few greasy chips and a sausage. I wish I could afford some steak.
Ah well, no harm in dreaming.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 6:35 pm
I never quite got the appeal of Twitter.
I was thinking of signing up and posting things like ‘Sitting on the bog having a shite’, but never did…
April 23rd, 2007 @ 7:00 pm
Iv’e just driven past one of them Tinkers halting sites, and it was like a German motor show with BMW’s Merc’s and a few Lexus thrown in, they all had big trailers hooked on the backs, all loaded with tarmac, building rubble, grass cuttings, dead dogs, and one of them had a beautiful deer hanging from a ladder, I expect it will be Venison for supper tonight, them Knackers could show us all how to live.. fair play..and unlike me and many others they never had to leave Ireland to do it!.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 7:05 pm
Twenty, Let me bring your life meaning, and you can bring mine hope. Let me bring your life wonders and you can bring mine calm. Let me bring you devotion and you can bring me love. Let me bring you my eyes and you can bring me your smile.
Love, DR
April 23rd, 2007 @ 7:06 pm
Twenty, Sometimes I wonder if you look at your phone to see if I’ve texted as often as I look at mine to see if you’ve texted.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 7:08 pm
The picture you sent me this morning, the one of you smiling content and sleepy is my favourite one of you.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 8:51 pm
cringe, cringe, cringe.
that hugh grant fucker has a lot to answer for.
April 23rd, 2007 @ 9:12 pm
SUV drivers love to go off road on all four, and get it hard in the shit!
April 24th, 2007 @ 8:44 am
I think theres something sort of sneaky about the whole thing…I found his blog a while back and read a little and though, ‘poor him’ then I read the comments and saw how much time people were investing in a total stranger, telling him not to give up etc and thought ‘tosser’.
April 24th, 2007 @ 9:21 am
Gimptard, is the only word I can think of to describe that Text guy. What a waste of electrons and blogosphere. I’d like to include the following clause in any Blogging Code of Conduct that gets written up:
“Gimps who post texts they haven’t sent should be shot. Twice.”
Cheers.
April 24th, 2007 @ 11:53 am
Well I think he’s dead romantic. I wish someone would write hundreds of texts like that for me and not send them.
April 24th, 2007 @ 3:39 pm
ah my funny little correspondents – WeeWee, Arthface (quite a lisp you have there), Peader (named after his pig father) etc.
You may laugh. scoff and speculate – but that is ALL you lot of morbid ‘I miss my Mammy’ little Irish boys will ever do. In twenty years time you will still be exactly who you are and where you are in life right now, sad lonely little men and women who will wake up some morning and realise you NEVER achieved anything except being jealous whiny brats.
The really nice thing about having made it too is the thought that when I go on my holliers – it will be some place where there will be no chance of having to endure the likes of you lot – you literally would not be let past the gates : ) Enjoy you week in a caravan in Courtown – or your cheapo-vino Marbella ; )
April 24th, 2007 @ 3:40 pm
size ten – you never got it from a quality lass in your life – and we all know that you poor fuckin’ waste of space. : )
April 24th, 2007 @ 4:17 pm
He’s a member of HotPress.com
April 24th, 2007 @ 4:20 pm
Who, the text guy?
April 24th, 2007 @ 4:21 pm
him too
April 24th, 2007 @ 4:26 pm
Yes and I know this because I recognise two of the texts from a topic on the Hotpress.com forum.
“I loved it when you said I walked like a 10 year old when you saw me today. You’re the only person who sees him.”
&
“Help me. Come and claim your property. Please.”
April 24th, 2007 @ 8:21 pm
Gluestain, what would you know about anything of quality, you bullshiteing gobshite.
April 24th, 2007 @ 10:18 pm
size ten (no doubt its how long your dick is, in millimetres) I promise you that if you knew the kind of lifestyle I am now blessed to live you would cry tears of mingled rage and jealousy.
See – I KNOW your story laddie, and those of a few others like you. You will NEVER make anything worht remembering of yourselves because you can’t shift your arse but forever be the typical Hurler on the Ditch.
And we both know what I say is the plain truth.. : )
April 24th, 2007 @ 10:33 pm
size ten and gluasitean – meet tomorrow by the pope’s cross in the phoenix park and have at it.
Leave the rest of us in peace.
April 24th, 2007 @ 10:58 pm
Maybe you could text each other?
Tom Waits had a nice line of patter
about calling yourself up on the phone
April 24th, 2007 @ 10:59 pm
‘Hey, at least you’re always available, and you don’t have to get all dressed up or nothin…’ :)
April 25th, 2007 @ 10:45 am
Fuck.
About a year ago I got a lift home from my boyfriends wimpo mate ‘Frank’. When I was getting out og the car I leant over and gave him a kiss – as you do – no loving just ‘Thanks, see ya!’. Anyway, he has some problems – (bad marraige, walks like a gimp, kidney stones, skin conditions, pees in a cubicle etc. ) and he somehow thought this goodnight peck on the cheek (and he smelt like baby talc) meant that I was now having a secret affair with him. Next time we were out in the pub, he kept trying to stare me out, giving me the grin as he tried to look sexy sipping his guinness as he glared at me over his magoo specs.
It’s mad but in that situation I found myself looking at him more than usual which made the whole thing worse. One time he came back from the jax and he stood next to me and started rubbing my back (he had wee drops on his crotch too).
Then low and behold he got my nuber and started texting me. Things like “You looked gorgeous today, I miss you”
Fuck me… I didn’t know what to do. Then my BF opened a text one night – “I’m thinking of you” – recognised the number and went mental. He was actually sick (vomited). I didn’t blame him. It would be the same if anyones GF cheated with this gimp (Me? as if!). I had a shit job diffusing the whole thing and as nobody has seen wee drops since we can only assume he’s crawled back under his rock.
I have no doubt this textsineversend person is a gimp too.
April 25th, 2007 @ 2:22 pm
I prefer the Letters I Never Send Myself!!!
Not letters i send myself, but i prefer the litters i never send blog to the texts i never send blog myself…if you get me!!
http://lettersineversend.blogspot.com/
April 27th, 2007 @ 2:05 am
Yes, Mr Major sir! ; )
April 27th, 2007 @ 8:57 am
what’s a gimp?