It’s the little things
With so much terror and horror and other double Rd bad things going on in the world we might overlook the fact that often it’s the little things that spark the most fury.
Look at Ho Chi Min who carried out the Virginia shootings. He was just another lonely sack of shit until some small thing made him flip out and go on the rampage which cost so many lives (and please let’s not use this as another debate for and against guns, go down to the Right to bear arms post for that).
Sometimes we get so caught up in the bigger picture we fail to notice the minor irritations that life presents us, such as:
- The scroll wheel on your mouse not working properly. Honestly, this makes me want to headbutt my iMac. It’ll scroll up but not down. Or down but not up. And it requires me to pick around at it with a needle or some other long thin thing, like Peter Crouch, to get it working again.
- Removing things from your dog’s arse. The other day Bastardface came into the house with a lego brick stuck up his hole. Some kid must have thrown it into the garden and the dog sat on it. It was long and blue and quite impacted. Oh joy.
- Taking a big slug of milk direct from the carton forgetting that you left the milk directly in the sun for most of the morning and that it had curdled.
- Biting your nail too far and/or taking a big chunk of skin off the side of your finger. While delicious this certainly does smart for some time.
- Hearing other people talk. If you use public transport for a period of time and have some kind of portable music device then travel anywhere without one it’s almost unbearable. Why can’t they just shut up?
- Clouds. Fuck off you cunts.
- People who say “Can I just” when you’ve already told them you’re not interested in whatever it is they’re selling. Especially if they’re trying to get you to sign up for a Direct Debit to some charity.
- Cunts who go on about how much they enjoyed a film even though it was complete crap and then justify it by saying shite like “I get a perverse pleasure from watching terrible movies”. Cram it you fat cunt. That whole ’so bad it’s good’ thing gets right on my tits.
- Dwarves.
So what are the little things that irritate you?
April 19th, 2007 at 9:07 am
People mixing up there with their and with they’re.
April 19th, 2007 at 9:20 am
Giving directions of where to find a link rather than just linking.
April 19th, 2007 at 9:38 am
Irish American dwarves that bite their nails, and say things like, aren’t the clouds very high today!!!
April 19th, 2007 at 9:39 am
Gobshites who drive SUV’s too close to the kerb and soak pedestrians (actually just gobshites who drive SUV’s in a city..why?) smug cunts.
Finding the coffee is all gone in the morning, then having scraped enough out of the tin to make half a pot and having made it, discovering that there isn’t any milk.
People who sit REALLY close to you on public transport..’have we met?’.
Ryan Tubridy.
April 19th, 2007 at 9:39 am
Having to make big life decisions – like today. What happened to the time when all I had to do was choose between the red and yellow Lego brick.
April 19th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Any deviation from pouring a pint of Guinness correctly.
April 19th, 2007 at 9:45 am
1. cuntstomers who tell you how great you are and dont tip cash
2. impending smoking bans, not in my name!
3. the word bizare when its pronounced bizaaaare, cunts
4. when the batteries go in my cordless mouse, thats the fucking worst
April 19th, 2007 at 9:47 am
5. guinness drinkers, and now that i think about it, real ale drinkers! fuck up, get a life beardy.
April 19th, 2007 at 10:02 am
Americans who think they know where places abroad are but later discover they aren’t, in fact, in the mid-west! Cunts!
April 19th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Having to repeat myself. It makes me want to get the other person and smash their head into a wall until their brains start to leak and they drop and do the chicken while I scream ‘DO YA HEAR ME NOW?’ at their bloody wretched self.
People who take a carton of juice or milk or whatever and pour a glass and then return said carton to the fridge but with only a dribble left, that makes me cross. Just fucking finish it.
People who repeatedly forget to turn off the oven, despite being reminded of it almost daily, should be flogged.
April 19th, 2007 at 10:05 am
Women (yes, it’s always women) who don’t take their fucking money or card out of their purses until the person at the cash register tells them how much they have to pay. Then after they’ve paid they faff about putting all their shit back into their handbags before they leave the till. FUCK RIGHT OFF.
April 19th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Deliberately loud phone conversations on the DART or Bus … “Well like I would love to go but I will be so delayed because I have to attend a high powered meeting where there will be at least 10 people and afterwards we are expected to attend the complimentary dinner” …. or…
Ring, Ring, Ring (at about 9.00 a,m, on the bus) “Hello Karen speaking” ….some pathetic remark by caller followed by … “I should be in at about 9.15, Dave” …..I mean, why bother to fucking ring ? A person handling a call of this calibre has as much individuality as a Cyborg. Its pretty obvious that they are going to robotically turn up at some shit hole place of employment at regular times each day …
Come on folks, ditch the attention seeking beaviour and get a life…..
April 19th, 2007 at 10:16 am
Telepromoters, the word says it all. But now I found a way to get back on them
http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/
April 19th, 2007 at 10:17 am
Men (and women for that matter) who use a communal bathroom and leave creative dribbles on the seat/in the general area of the bowl.’yes its nice dear but really there’s no need’….
April 19th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Oh GOD mike!!! don’t get me started…8pm in the evening, I’m just sitting down to dinner and the ‘phone rings so I answer because it just might be someone i want to talk to…snotty kid on the other end on hearing my female voice ask’s to speak to the person who makes the decisions regarding our telephone service..I have a foolproof way of dealing with them..I hang up immediately.
April 19th, 2007 at 10:22 am
People who interrupt a face-to-face conversation to answer a bleeping mobile phone or text, without so much as an “excuse me”.
People who read and send text messages while you’re talking to them.
(Bloody hell it’s my daughter!)
April 19th, 2007 at 10:27 am
People who drag me on the dancefloor when its empty (I only dance on full floors as I dance like a demented frog)
People who try to force me to do Karaoke at parties (I can’t bloody sing!)
People who smoke when I’m eating
People who leave the f***ing caps and lids off everything, so whatever is in there dries up.
Almost everything other drivers do when I am in the car – they’re all fuckwits
F**king options on phones – “Press one for marketing, press two for the next arsehole” enough to drive a saint barmy
God, I’m on a roll now………………!
April 19th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Removing shit from the arse of pets is no small thing. I’d much rather remove a pet from my own arse. Specially when you’ve got a really hairy persian fucker that constantly gets the runs.
(And no I don’t I have a hairy persian arse)
April 19th, 2007 at 10:48 am
People who wait in the queue for security at the airports. They wait and walk past all the signs saying repeatedly, “Please take your coat off, your shoes, take your laptop out of the bag blah de blah blah”.
What do they do? Complain about the queue and the fact that its so slow and then wait until the last minute to start getting their stuff sorted out. Cretins.
April 19th, 2007 at 10:53 am
Blokes with small cocks, and worse still, cheeky bastards with small cocks,I met this little fucker the other night at a Clancy Brothers resuscitation concert, he looked the best of a bad lot so I let him give me a lift home,I didn’t get a chance to check him out, so I didn’t know what I was in for until he took his trousers of in the back of the van, his cock was only 5 centimetres long, I said to him who do you think your’e going to please with that thing, and the cheeky fucker said..it allways works for me..
April 19th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Having to come up with a fucking zipcode any time you need to enter your address online… when will the fuckers realise NOT EVERYONE HAS A GODDAMN ZIPCODE!!!!
Male doctors telling you how to deal with child birth… fuck off and talk to me when you’ve squeezed a kid out your pee pee!
5 year olds in buggies (with a babies bottle full of coke in one hand and a snickers in the other)… and we wonder why our kids are fat?
Pat Kenny… nuff said.
Yeah… now I’m pissed off… thanks Twenty!
April 19th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Buying a bra…. all the bigger sizes are always at the back and you either end up with a heap of bras for ladies with tits the size of fried eggs all over the floor around you while trying to look for the more generous cup sizes or get all the straps and hangers tangled in a huge mess so the whole lot ends up on the floor.
April 19th, 2007 at 11:19 am
Actually Americans period.
And also the way Americans use the word for a monthly menstrual discharge to denote the end of a big statement!
CUNTS!
April 19th, 2007 at 11:21 am
That ‘DulcoEase’ stool softener commercial. Twee and foul in equal measure. Like a sprig of lavander on a fresh dog egg.
Oh, and getting my mouse trackball stuck up my arse. Again.
April 19th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Bloggers. What a pack of cunts.
April 19th, 2007 at 11:50 am
People who don’t turn off the microwave but leave the door open. Why. Just turn the fucking know and close the door you pikeshite
April 19th, 2007 at 11:55 am
SUV drivers. The arrogance! And who needs ‘em? Are the ramps at Superquinn really so tricky?
April 19th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
People who you’ve held a door open for, only to watch them sail through it without a single word of thanks. The next person who does that to me is going to get a wedgie.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
husbands sometimes….’sure that new barbeque is practically self-cleaning!’…yes, because I’VE CLEANED IT!!
April 19th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
When the batteries of the remote are going and you have to press the buttons really hard and move closer to the TV.
Big heads on Guinness or when it does not come to the top of the Glass. Bastard barmen.
Over weight luggage at airports. Fucking Airline limits.
When My wife says to me on the way out to the pub enjoy yourself and then you wont be late will you. Fuck when did I become a child again.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
People who bring up little things wrong that other people do. Be a bit more tolerant you c*nts. You probably have a pile of annoying little habits yourself but can’t see them because you are sutch a belligerent tetchy b*stard. Chill and say hey everything is okay. Then one day go out and buy a gun…no I won’t go down that path.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
- American girls who use the word ‘like’ five times in every sentence.
- Old French men who believe that if you suck air loudly through your teeth for twenty minutes after every meal, you never have to brush them.
- Spaniards who think that a queue will move faster if you push the person in front of you in the back.
- Dutch and German families who take 4 tons of equipment with them on holiday.
- Girls who wear pink lipstick.
- Men who wear flatcaps on backwards because a baseball cap doesn’t make them look enough of a prick.
- A young man who has a Benjamin Franklin type beard. Pretentious twat.
- And the old chestnut – anyone who chews gum with their ignorant fucking mouths open. (I won’t even broach the subject of popping)
April 19th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
When people speak to the email they have just received – making out-of-the-blue comments about what is written in it or laughing hysterically at it. Please keep virtual communication virtual!
When the lecherous office idiot is having a good day & decides to share this with you by hanging around your desk making terrible jokes and comments. There is a reason I ignore you & stare so intently at my screen even when you are talking to me!
People who smell terrible (whether breath or B.0.) yet stand closer than socially-acceptable to you when talking to you.
When people watch your daily habits and then use it as some “personal joke” should you deviate from this habit for even a day. …pretending they know you SO well when you barely know their name!
Stupid people.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Cunts that cook and dont use the Extractor fan, you can cook your dog shit all you want but dont stink up the gaf!!! Just pull the handle towards you thats all!!! Also cunts that use the extractor fan but just have the light on and not the fan,,,die!!!
April 19th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
reading through so many fecking blog comments to find that most of mine have already been included
April 19th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Any stupid cunt that uses SAT NAV, if you don’t know where your’e going or how to get there,you shouldn’t be allowed out in the first place…stupid, fiddling, pricks…..
April 19th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
ALL OF THE ABOVE [with the exception of the Guinness hater. Cunt].
And dropping a Mr Whippy dump only to discover the last person hasn’t replaced the empty jax roll…
April 19th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Sid Trotter
April 19th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Movie cult cunts, from the Oscars to Cannes. Put Keith Richard’s dad’s ashes in all their nose candy, that’s what I say.
April 19th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
That bloody ad thats on the radio every morning: “Hello, I’m Steve Davis: in 1980 I won the World Snooker Championship; in 1981 I won the World Snooker Championship; in 1982, 1983, 1984 and 1985 I won the World Snooker Championship…”
Shut the fuck up you champion cunt.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Apart from Jon – my Jon! – my main many Jon? Hey how’s things good buddy!
Those people who put negative questions at the end of questions i.e. innit? can’t I? doesn’t it? TWATS
April 19th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
ever get a slagging over being pissed off even though you’re not actually pissed off about anything but the more people say “ha look at him, he’s getting thick over nothing” the more pissed off you get…if you know what i mean?
April 19th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Beggers
Children
Oxfam “alternative” types trying to be wacky so I’ll Sign over some of my hard earned for starving africans.
Starving africans
Old people
Slow people at the atm
Retards who dont get out of my way in the street
Taxi drivers who feel like a chat
Civil service spongers, especially scabby nurses from the phillipines
People who use the anonymity of the internet to be cunts.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
people who make fun of Asian people’s names…
April 19th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Billy Hickies, you sound like the greatest cunt of all!….
April 19th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Irish fans of English soccer teams who slag of the Scottish league and say “Our league is a much higher standard”. As if they fucking live in England or something.
Strangely silent on the Irish League, where there is a club down the road from them. Has no one told them there is an Irish league? Or are they too comfy sitting on their sofas supporting a team that has absolutely nothing to do with their home, background, politics, etc.
Irish Chelski fans. Fuck right off you BNP tits.
EPL fans who refer to their teams performance like “”we” were really good”. Same fuckers who have only ever seen Man Ure on their TV, and never been to a game. You’d swear these fuckers lived in London or Singapore where all the other Man Ure supporters live.
People who can’t see that Roy Keane should have been jailed for his (a)t(t)ack le on Alfe Haaland.
Parents who stick a Man Ure / Chelski / Scumperpool top on their 2 year old son!!!! You pathetic, purile, prats.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Cunts who won’t post your comments on their blogs.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Football. Anything to do with football. Football supporters. Wankers who waffle on about leagues and teams and premierships. Football on the telly.
And sport.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Older (mid fifties) working class men, who you meet in your daily working life who are just plain rude. All thier friends say things like “ah sure don’t mind him, he’s just a bit gruff”, and “i see you’ve met Willie”
Its a load of shite. There’s no need to be such a cunt about people you’ve only met.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
“Women” who run the streets of Dublin in pyjamas.
Skangers!!
Every Fianna Fail fucker in the world, especially Bertie Aherne, the cunty cunt.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
People who slag others off because they dont like their hobbies and cant come up with some interesting of their own to do.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Oh, and old women who think they can skip ahead of me in queues.
Listen Biddy, my time is a valuable as yours. what you got to do all afternoon? Look at Oprah? I’ve got work to go to to pay taxes for your fucking pension, so please, stay in your spot in the queue.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Yippee – did you hear where that pyjamas thing came from? Japan!!!
It was a sign of wealth for women to nip into shops to buy fags or whatever, showed that they lived in the city, and so given rents and prices, this meant they were rich.
doesn’t carry the same cache on Parnell St when a skanger goes into Spar in her PJs and buys 20 JP blue and 4 cans of Cider.
April 19th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
- When I’m looking something up in google about Dublin or St. Petersburg and get links to places in America.
- When people say ‘like’ in their sentences, when they mean that it ‘actually went exactly that way’
- pedestrians on the cycle path in Phoenix park
- people that get probation because they come from a good family.
Ah, skip that last one. I might want to use it someday in the feature.
April 19th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Bit petty Sid…isn’t it?
April 19th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Woowoo, thanks for the explanation.
Saw a group of these “ladies” the other day standing together in Werburg Street, without a care in the world, untroubled by such things as mortgages or even jobs, for that matter.
I can’t afford to do that, so maybe, in some weird oriental, mysterious way, it IS a sign of wealth!!
What a fucked up world!
April 19th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
The little thing that annoys me the most in the whole world is my mother. She’s quite short.
April 19th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Dale – it is isn’t it – don’t yer think! I should know better shouldn’t I
April 19th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Making a lovely omlette or burger and when you go to put on some tomato ketchup you get a littlle dribble of red water coming out before the proper good stuff. Sick.
April 19th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
problemchildbride,
just wait till I get you home!
Your father will have something to say about you, ya cheeky mare!!
April 19th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Don’t worry Yippee, I’ll be waiting at the door for him, won’t I. Straight into his Pyjamas, up to bed, with only a ketchup dribble sandwich for him tonight.
the little scroat.
April 19th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Football? Are you mad?
Making a lovely omlette or burger and when you go to put on some tomato ketchup you get a littlle dribble of red water coming out before the proper good stuff. Sick.
Good one. I fucking hate that.
April 19th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
I hate people that miss call you because they know you will ring back and dont want to use their own credit.
Car rental companies that quote one price and then when you get the car there is three times the amount on the bill.
April 19th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
food
April 19th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Yes. Football. A shower of grossly overpaid nancies chasing a bit of plastic around a field. Jayzus what a waste of time and money.
April 19th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
People talking on public transport is a terror all right. Why can’t the fuckers just should up? Who wants to hear some guy talk to some other guy about something that some other guy did. Listening to people laughing at things that are blatantly unfunny is especially annoying, particularly those geeks who laugh out loud in the cinema at ‘humourous’ ads that have been on telly for months.
And why can’t people just say ‘bye’ on the phone once any more? In my office everybody finishing up a phone call has to say ‘bye-bye-bye-bye’: the first bye is the formal one then the rest just follow in a kind of flutter, decreasing in volume as they go, like larks heading to Connaught for the summer. To quote David Byrne: ‘Say something once, why say it again?’
And what is it with girls who wear tracksuit bottoms with things written on the arse? Things like ‘porn star’ or ‘nope’ or ‘angel’. It’s always the ones with massive arses that wear this shit. ‘Nope’ is especially annoying: you’re directing my eyes to your arse in the first place, you dozy bint, and it’s not much to look at either.
Or girls who wears skirts with trousers underneath. Aaagh.
I’m going to design a T-shirt for when I go into Tesco that reads: ‘Do I look like I have a club card?’
Why do Northside Dubs have to put ‘and all’ at the end of every sentence. Eg, ‘I was going down to get some gear off Damo and all.’ ‘I had a few bevvies in the Flying Hatchet and all.’ ‘The weather’s lovely for lounging around and all.’
Or that stupid voiceover on the Luas. The blind will figure it out after one or two trips already.
Right. I’m off to shoot some people.
April 19th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
people who have nothing better to do than comment on this blog – feckers the lot of them
April 19th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Them sweet eastern european till girls in centra who dont catch my vibe when i ask for 10 euro top up, that really i just wanna bone em
April 19th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
People who chew gum very loudly. Saliva-smackin cunts.
April 19th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
when my knob decides to eat half my pubes and im in a public place so i cant pull the hungry fecker of them.
when ive had a feed of guinness the night before and cant smell my own farts but its obvious everyone i work with can, shamefull
when im going for a dump but the predump pee squirts out from under the seat and wets my jeans
italians
April 19th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Sid- Shameful.
Little Kids (Small Goats)
April 19th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Twenty, you’ve hit a nerve. I’ve never seen so many comments. It must be a personal best.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
The way women say nothing about stupid little things you do at the time, but eviscerate you with a list of them during your next fight.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
The IRS, but I’m not about to go on a deadly rampage about it!
That kid was seriously fucked up, what a waste, a total and utter waste from a screwed up stupid kid that couldn’t deal with the shit we all have to deal with from day to day.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Twenty hats off – Again.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Cunts who won’t publish my comments on their blogs!
April 19th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Forgot to mention people who ‘work’ in human resources.
Or people who repeat a question you ask them: you – ‘where do you work?’; them – ‘where do I work?’. Snotnosed cunts.
April 19th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
HR are scum (obviously I just mean the scummy ones).A company I worked for last year had about 100 interviews to do with only three interviewers and asked me to assist.If the interviewee’s had seen the shite we had on the PP on our laptops they would have kicked the shit out of us.
We then all met up together for what they called ‘the wash-up’ where the wagon’s basically tore the ass out of them all for sexuality, accent, appearence, facial ticks (although you can out them on my list of things I hate- so distracting)they really suck.
April 19th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
That feckin new Budweiser ad with the lad screaming like a girl and the other three feckin eejits riding horses, jumping boxes and a load of other old guff so they can have a bottle of beer. Complete c**tology.
April 19th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
Burke and Hare, were probally the only ones who realy understood human resources!…
April 19th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Tester has it correct: that Budweiser ad with the screaming is (almost) enough to make me drink Beamish.
April 19th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
The ‘Let it all hang out’ Fosters beer ad, which fairly grooves along until you trace the artist behind the music and discover that it’s Jonathan King. Yes, THAT Jonathan King.
April 19th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Blowing a fart that has substance to it. And nutty pervert dogs that stick plastic tubes up their ass holes.
April 19th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
the last dribble after having a wee that won’t come out no matter how hard you push/pull until you have your pants up.
the unnecessary bit with the dog at the end of the otherwise great moro add.
April 19th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
People who dont clean up after their dogs shit on salthill prom, leaving the mess for the kids to walk through. selfish pricks
April 19th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
Twenty, you’ve hit a nerve. I’ve never seen so many comments. It must be a personal best.
There’s one with 125 comments in there somewhere. That’s more than ten times the number of Christ’s apostles.
April 19th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Must
April 19th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
beat
April 19th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Over dependant fathers who think because he is paralysed on one side that it is an excuse to make me do EVERY-FUCKING thing in the house and not bother to ask my brothers even though they are here during the day more than I am cause I work days and they work nights and – FUCKING FAMILIES! Yeah – that’s what is getting right on my tits right now. Right on.
How the fuck am I meant to pay the bills when I’m in work from 8-6? HOW?! And asking me on a fecking thursday evening of all!
Damn it, I’m all cranky now.
April 19th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
125
April 19th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
Receptionists. Shop assistants who ignore you.
April 19th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
People who use asterisks in swear words. You know that we know what the word is: just spell the fucker.
April 19th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Pinkie – Just say no!
Kav – Get back to your beer and celebrations!
Twenty – there’s No 90.
April 19th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
Censorship practiced by elitist cunts who won’t post my comments on their blogs!
April 19th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
I’ll bump up the comments on this, one more, by pointing out the miscellaneous fact that the new twenty design contains an optical illusion. Hover your mouse over the big number to the right of any comment, for 5 seconds then take it away and the number dissappears for a second. How exciting is that?! Go tell everyone you know. This is big. Very big.
(pretty sure I’m going to regret getting drunk and leaving random comments on blogs)
April 19th, 2007 at 10:33 pm
- “What’s Hot/What’s Not” type lists. And the way the stupid fuckers write them. Like “We’re loving the new series of [insert name of crap reality TV show here].” We’re thinking you’re a bunch of cunts.
- South Dublin princesses who go to America on a J1 for three months and speak with an American accent for the rest of their lives.
- People who use the word ‘quid’ as slang for Euro. ‘Quid’ is for pounds and we stopped using them five years ago. Think of a new word, arseholes.
- Cops on the Long Mile Road stopping people using the bus lane, when all they want to do is get home to see their kids. Especially given the fact that sightings of buses on the Long Mile Road are as rare as cabinet ministers in Ireland on St Patrick’s Day.
April 19th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
That ad for Specsavers with those two shape-throwing twats endeavouring to look all intense and sensual just ‘cos they’re wearing stupid rectangular glasses.
The seven commentators who still haven’t put their spoke in to bring this rant into triple figures. You know who you are.
April 19th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
- People who piss off my dog. My dog has never been wrong, if he growls at you it’s because you’re really an asshole. Why would he lie?
April 19th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Gerry – that’s just plain old straw clutching. Quid has always been whatever-current-currency, whether pounds, punts or euro. On a side note, isn’t it funny that this kinda thing always revolves around *other* people fucking you off, rather than random ’stuff’ you do to yourself, like… not shakin’ your willy properly and wetting your pants… walking on a plug in your socks… sending a text to the person that the text is about… etc etc
April 19th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Get on my tits… sounds like an invitation!
April 20th, 2007 at 12:10 am
YOU! God I can’t believe I am the first one to say this. It’s a pity you weren’t in Virginia Tech the other day maybe we’d be less one self-indulgent, offensive and, the worst crime of all on a blog, BORING old pontificator. Although to be fair I haven’t checked your blog for months so it doesn’t bother me on a daily basis any more.
April 20th, 2007 at 12:18 am
People who insist everything is fine when it quite obviously isn’t. Fuck though how obviously isn’t it. Maybe it is obvious to them. Ranters. Thoug actually I love them too. What’s wrong with people talking? It makes me feel so happy that turquoise nail varnish isn’t my main interest.
The thing that irritates me most come to think of it is dullness. Lack of passion. There is only one life fucking live it with gusto. Get pissed every night or play bingo or whatever is your thing. Do it cunt.
April 20th, 2007 at 12:29 am
Golly, and I was just sorry you weren’t in my Kickboxing class tonight.
I do so love it when people who claim not read you ‘daily’ get all upset about what you’ve written. It’s drive-by insults. You’re the Howard Stern of Irish blogging.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:01 am
Twenty, you should tell the parish priest that he doesn’t have to sign on as “Anonymous” to vent his spleen. Or was that a relative?
April 20th, 2007 at 1:56 am
Lists of 100 things
April 20th, 2007 at 2:08 am
lists of 101 dalmation shaped things
April 20th, 2007 at 8:11 am
Going to work with a hangover.
Stag nights on Thursdays.
People losing one of the hands from my Gorilla Costume. ( You may as well lose the whole fucking thing.)
People puking on my arm especially when it contains a cabbage like substance.
Trying to look sober on a Friday morning.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:46 am
NTL…
April 20th, 2007 at 9:03 am
Dale – don’t you dare bring my little goats into this – 103 twenty
April 20th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Forgetting that you work with massive electromagnets when you have your willie pierced.
Being reminded of 1916 every time you look at your willie pierce.
Being middle aged.
Having an immortal mother in law.
People who tell you they bought a “compressor” when they mean a big ugly useless German gas guzzling car.
Every prick who bought a house before 1995.
April 20th, 2007 at 10:28 am
When that last pebble of pooh just won’t let go no matter much jigging and shaking of your ass you do, so that you have to remove it with toilet paper and then you can feel it squash between your fingers…and then you sick up a little.
April 20th, 2007 at 10:58 am
107 comments twenty, you famous cunt.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=302417
April 20th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
It’s an appropriate post for a Friday evening…hmph
What little things get on my goat:
1. politicians permanently stuck on a spin cycle
2. not being allowed to inform them how obvious it is that they’re completely morally-vaccuous cunts
3. shitty free tv programs used to drive ppl to paytv
4. Babel not translating Gaelic to English
5. Guthy Renker
6. when ants run around and go crazy inside the house when it’s going to rain
7. automated voice recognition phone answering
8. the smelly pleb u always have to sit next to on the bus home from work
9. pompous-assed ethics committees who slaughter seal cubs in their spare time
drumroll please….
10. John Howard.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Joe Duffy talking to people in his pious, smug, I-used-to-be-a-social-worker patronizing voice.
Junkies.
PAT KENNY!!!! Sufferin Jesus!!! How has he still got a job???
April 20th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
the minister for enterprise, trade and employment, micheal martin, who has decided that creating more useless, unemployable phd graduates would be a GOOD thing. i am one and i can’t get a fucking job in ireland.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
mcdonald’s are hiring
April 20th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Digi-web,
right i know its 19.95 a month for phone and internet, so I’m not expecting it to change the world or make me coffee, but it would help if a 20 second youtube video didn’t k…e…e….p stall…..i….n….g and taking a fucking minute.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
when tv is left on standby all night
April 20th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
comment 68 nails it
April 20th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Damn! You can get a better education reading the comments here than you can get at a university or by watching television.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Dirty bastards who lick/suck their fingers when they are eating instead of using a napkin.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Drivers anywhere in the world – global stupidity, that’s it.
People talking loud in the lab when you’re trying to concentrate on something difficult.
People that don’t wash the dishes they used. Dirty cunts.
Trying to rent a place here. It’s easier in Dublin, believe me.
April 20th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Hahah, this is like an Irish virtual version of the Complaints Choir.
April 23rd, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Surprised I forgot to add this one: the way RTE News reports things happening at “5am in the morning.” Get a fucking dictionary and look up tautology you hacks.
April 24th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
I get enraged if he hasn’t washed his rose.
May 4th, 2007 at 7:17 am
Jerry Ryan, sanctimonious cunt
Not being able to fart in bed because you managed to pull a chick
That fucken tit who went on a kill spree in vergina
Sean Hannity, sanctimonious cunt
Being interrupted mid wank because your mother/sister/boss logs on to MSM and their picture pops up and winks at you.
Jerry Ryan, sanctimonious cunt
My ex, you lying cheating cunt
My conflicted feelings over the IRA
Shitty Lipton tea bags
Being put in the friend zone
The through the magic door segment of Bosco, I;ll tell you whats on the other side, its fucken Dublin zoo. You’ve only been there every fucken school trip you ever went on.