Do you want to me eat all my cheese in one go, is that it?
Fuck all you fucking cheese making cunts.
Is there some reason you can’t make a wrapper for your cheddar which is simple to open, doesn’t require brute strength or appliances, doesn’t tear the wrapper right down the middle and is easy to close again so the cheese doesn’t go all hard and stale like Dirty Dave’s smegma?
Well, is there?
They’re obviously taking tips from lettuce packers.
April 11th, 2007 at 11:02 am
Oh, and if anyone asks “How do you know about Dirty Dave’s smegma?”, well, your mam told me.
April 11th, 2007 at 11:39 am
My mum? Yikes, I know she liked a bit of rough but Jaisus, that really is too much.
April 11th, 2007 at 11:44 am
Hehe, how do you know about Dir… Fuck!
April 11th, 2007 at 11:48 am
it should be illegal for manufacturers to sell any kind of food in a container that cannot be easily opened and resealed again. CUNTS.
April 11th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
This is blasphemy! Blessed are the cheese makers. They shall be seated upwind of Dirty Dave.
April 11th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Yeah right! What next, time travel? Intergalactic transport at less than 2€/lightyear? Milk cartons that open without spilling?
Get real…
April 11th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
Linzi’s got these magic boxes that are just the right size for a block of cheese. They keep it fresh up to three times longer than your average magic box.
April 11th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
You shut your filthy mouth about cheese. *
* pats and comforts cheese, also nibbles it.
April 11th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
That’s disgusting FMC. Leave Dave alone.
April 11th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
‘You’re my cheese now Daaaaave!’
April 11th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
@Primal Sneeze: This is blasphemy?
No THIS IS CHEEEEESE.
April 11th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Like Linzi, my wife has a series of click clack boxes that are extremely useful. They can be used to store a wide range of persihable goods and can be bought at a number of well known retail outlets for a relatively modest outlay. Well worth the initial invetsment. I must admit I like th eblue boxes better than the purple as their colour seems to fade after considerable use in the dishwasher
April 11th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
“Ask yourself this? What would a FREE cheese do?”
April 11th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
where i’m from (horrible place) smegma is generally referred to as “from-unda-cheese” … say it slowly. that said, get yourself a vacuum packer thing what sucks the air out of said package and leaves your cheese soft, pliable and hand fresh – hows that for daves smegma ?
April 11th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
never understood how the word fresh could be applied to something that is, after all, rotten lumpy milk
April 11th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
wrap the fucking cheese in cling film or tin foil and quit whingeing.
April 11th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
I have to agree with niall, it’s a bit of a non-issue.
That said, any excuse to mention Dirty Dave’s smegma should probably be embraced. As opposed to embracing Dirty Dave himself, who should probably be, I dunno, deloused or something.
April 11th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Jesus, that Niall is such a fucking crank.
April 11th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Im with Niall, get over y’self 20, just get some glad wrap and get down with Dave’s smegma and ya bad self and your cheese.
April 11th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
let us pray. Dear smegma cheese packers, forgive us our daily lard
April 11th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Freezer bags are great for that sort of thing too Twenty..get the ziplock ones and you can take your cheese on holiday with you too…
April 11th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
i like cheese, i also like cake, but not cheesecake
April 11th, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Cheese, please, Louise.
April 11th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
I’d lend you my scissors but I can’t get them out of the damn packaging.
April 11th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
That’s another one actually.
If you buy any kind of audio equipment – e.g headphones – the packaging requires a fucking chainsaw to open.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
you want to see the packaging chainsaws come in. almost as bad as those lucozade sport bottles with the armour grade foil under the welded on cap.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:46 pm
“Ask yourself this? What would a FREE cheese do?” ~ FMC
HAHAHAHA! I love it!
My da only has the use of one arm and he does get these great packs of cheddar – presliced they are. 10 slices in a pack… Nice thick cut slices and all. Lovely. I love me cheese.
April 12th, 2007 at 7:28 am
This post is whey over the top!
April 12th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Anna
We’re on our way to your place now to have you drug out back and shot!
April 12th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Chedder is not a cheese. Period.
Cheese is bought in big blocks of at least a pound and cut with a decent cheese cutter.
Ok, I’ll have to admit that only on this topic I miss my old country…
April 12th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
just put them all in the chokey
April 13th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Some cheese packs have a sticker thingy that you can use to reseal it.
Its not perfect but its something.
Or you could just eat the devils partially dehyrated cum, aka easy singles.
I personally am quite fond of that fancy chaddar in dunnes that has the chile in it….mmmmm