Audience participation…
Posted on | April 10, 2007 | 21 Comments
“Jesus”, said Dirty Dave, “you’ll never guess what happened to me?”
“You realised you were a moronic, spastic, Joey Deacon loving shitbag?”
“No, worse than that. You know the way I love Easter and Easter eggs?”
“Do you?”
“Oh come on, Twenty. You know I do. Sure didn’t I call around to you one night drunk as a lord wearing an enormous Easter bunny costume?”
“Yes, and I thought it was that giant rabbit from Donnie Darko and I shot you in the chest at point blank range.”
“Haha, yeah. Thank God for that St Christopher’s medal made of pure titanium I keep in my top pocket. Anyway, now that we have established my love of Easter and Easter eggs I can continue. I went to local supermarket and purchased a range of quality chocolate eggs, some of which should have contained well known chocolate bars than one can purchase in any newsagents.”
“I see.”
“However, I was shocked to discover that in my first egg instead of their being a Cadbury’s flake there was a chocolate covered centipede.”
“Yummy. If you’re going to eat a centipede those are best kind, I suppose.”
“Well, that was just the start. In another egg there was a live Arizona Bark Scorpion.”
“Yikes. Dangerous. I’ll allergic to scorpions.”
“It get worse. In one further Easter egg and I found three dwarves wrestling and in another there was a woolly mammoth destroying a small village packed with pygmies because somehow they had built their settlement rather too close to his watering hole.”
“Erm…”
“And finally, in the last egg I opened, I discovered a brontosorus mating with a coelacanth.”
“That’s certainly not what you’d expect from an Easter egg. What did you do?”
“Sure, I brought them back to the shop.”
“And that did the shopkeep say?”
“Well, he was very nice. He just said “________________________________________ “
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21 Responses to “Audience participation…”
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April 10th, 2007 @ 10:04 am
Thats Eggtraordinary! (cheep, I know!)
April 10th, 2007 @ 10:05 am
I’ve been thinking for nearly six minutes and I’m exhausted. The “egg” puns that are coming to me just don’t do it justice.
April 10th, 2007 @ 10:19 am
You can’t even eggstrapolate your own puns now, Twenty?
April 10th, 2007 @ 10:43 am
Is the yolk on us?
April 10th, 2007 @ 11:27 am
You’re not pulling me an egg, are you?
April 10th, 2007 @ 11:27 am
I have to know: do you have a punchline in mind or did you just write something random to see what people will come up with?
April 10th, 2007 @ 11:29 am
“Well, he was very nice. He just said “Write your own punchline you overpaid 2 buke deal bollox“
April 10th, 2007 @ 1:51 pm
“Isn’t DNA wonderful?”
April 10th, 2007 @ 2:21 pm
Come on, don’t eggsaggerate !!
April 10th, 2007 @ 2:33 pm
..ah..that would be an eggumenical matter
April 10th, 2007 @ 7:13 pm
Well, he was very nice. He just said “Senhor pesaroso, eu não tenho um indício o que você está falando sobre”
April 10th, 2007 @ 8:15 pm
“Relax, it can all be explained by the first mescaline fondant egg I sold you. Apart from the dwarves, mescaline doesn’t cause dwarves. You must have got a bad egg there. Probably made on the same equipment as the LSD eggs. Big chocolate just doesn’t care about the little guy and his allergies, the bastards. Here have some compensation – it’s the brand new fry-up, coffee and cigarettes themed egg, meant for when the yolk doesn’t seem to be so funny any more.” Like now.
April 10th, 2007 @ 9:12 pm
We couldn’t get the one with the unicorns dry humping Shergar, so here’s your refund.
April 10th, 2007 @ 11:26 pm
The Cadbury’s product-designers are really thinking outside the shell this year.
April 10th, 2007 @ 11:50 pm
I was really hoping someone would chip in with “Oh sorry, you seem to have purchased from our range of beaster eggs”.
Oh well.
April 11th, 2007 @ 7:55 am
Dwarves aren’t beasts! What’s your problem with dwarves, eh? EH? Sheesh! Everyone’s a-hatin’ these days.
April 11th, 2007 @ 9:24 am
Aaaaaaaah. I was up late last night worrying about the answer, and that’s all I get? For fuck’s sake.
April 11th, 2007 @ 9:41 am
Do you eggs-pect me to believe that story?
April 11th, 2007 @ 5:21 pm
Has anyone used the Beaster eggs one yet?
April 11th, 2007 @ 11:33 pm
Flash! Awwwwwww, he’ll save everyone of us!
April 16th, 2007 @ 10:33 am
“Get the fuck out of my shop you fruitcake”