So, this whole book thing
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on March 22nd, 2007
As Sinead revealed last night I have signed a two book deal with Hodder Headline Ireland.
That means I’ll write two books and they will publish them and you, if you so choose, can buy them and read them. It’s revolutionary in its groundbreakingosity.
What is the first book about? Well, plot details are vague at this moment in time but it will contain many words put together in sequence to form sentences and paragraphs which will combine to tell a story in chronological order (although I’m not ruling out flashbacks). The press release says:
His two-book deal will see a major expansion in the escapades of Twenty and his pals Jimmy the Bollix, Stinking Pete, Ron the Barman, Splodge, Lucky Luciano and Dirty Dave, as they wind their way around Dublin’s backstreets as they try to find out who killed their friend Jim of Vinyl Records. Music, films, television and books will all be parodied and nothing is sacred in this irreverent look at modern Dublin.
I can assure you that some of the action will take place on Dublin’s main streets too, such as Nassau Street, Westmoreland Street, Parnell Street and Capel Street*
So there you go. That’s what’s happening. It should all be a right good laugh and the great thing is that - unless TV, books and movies have been lying to me all along - real writers are allowed drink as much as they want whenever they want.
Mmmmm, for breakfast I can have cornflakes with vodka instead of milk and I can gargle with creme de menthe instead of Listerine. This is going to be awesome.
Sadly this is not going to be the cover - with thanks to Gerry.
* I reserve the right to use different streets and perhaps even a road or avenue or two.
Update: I should point out that the book, although it features characters from the blog and may reference one or two favourite themes, will not be rehashing old blog stories and the blog itself will continue as normal.
that is the best book cover Ive seen. Good luck twenty - I will buy a copy to burn - so you get the royalties and I get the heat.
When’s it out?
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Well done, you auld bollix…….
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:22 pm
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vodka in your cereal? see, I knew there was a damn good reason why I should’ve been a writer….
congrats on the book deal!
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:24 pm
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Fair play to ya son. I always knew there was talent there somewhere, if ya looked reeeely hard.
Put me down for a copy of the reviews.
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:25 pm
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Congratulations Twenty! Can all your devoted fans get signed copies please?
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:31 pm
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Yes, a mighty welldone to yer - hope it’s good - and that there’s plenty of cunts in it - will I get it from the library (top shelf)?
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
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We love you Twennny, here sign yer super mega famous name cross me tits, wouldja?
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:34 pm
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I’m already looking forward to the film!
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:35 pm
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I’m already looking forward to the film!
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:38 pm
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Sounds like the Fureys on acid.
Which they probably were.
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:51 pm
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Congrats!
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
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well done! please can the pages have those convenient perforations like andrex?
March 22nd, 2007 at 4:58 pm
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Well Well who’d have thought. Me for one I suppose and hundreds of others. You can’t carry on writing a blog like this and not get noticed/rewarded. I know you got the blog awards but a two book deal is something else. Well done.
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:04 pm
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Way to go Twenty.
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:07 pm
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A few questions.
Are you going to continue working?
What did they pay you?
Can you retire?
Have you already completed the book or starting from scratch?
When do you expect it to be released?
How swamped by bloggers do you expect Hodder to be?
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:29 pm
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Isn’t that wonderful. Really. A great tale. An inspiration to all that have pipe dreams. Congratulations. I look forward to this.My God, I think that’s great.
March 22nd, 2007 at 5:48 pm
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Cheers everyone.
Flirty - that’s way too many questions.
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:02 pm
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Just answer one a day for the next week and you can have the 7th day off.
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:14 pm
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congrats twenty you may be an old bollix but your a talented one. Come on Out to Beirut for a book signing when its done.
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:26 pm
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cuntgratulations!
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:41 pm
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I hope you won’t let this distract you from your election campaign. Oh shit, sorry…!
March 22nd, 2007 at 6:45 pm
20
Well done, Mr Major.
March 22nd, 2007 at 7:01 pm
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Test.
March 22nd, 2007 at 7:15 pm
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(Testing Safari)
March 22nd, 2007 at 7:19 pm
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Jolly good show!
March 22nd, 2007 at 7:19 pm
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Well done Twenty!
Now why did I wash my hand? ;)
March 22nd, 2007 at 7:59 pm
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will you still talk to us all when you’re rich and famous?
March 22nd, 2007 at 8:24 pm
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so………..when do the begrudgers start circling?
congratumalations
March 22nd, 2007 at 8:39 pm
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like, great, fab, magic. super, insert insincere,jealous compliment here……………………………
I don’t mind, you jammy jammy bastard, but can I do your autographing for you? You won’t have the time.
March 22nd, 2007 at 9:50 pm
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Nice one Twenty!
March 22nd, 2007 at 9:50 pm
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Twenty Major In Book Scandal! says:
[...] Ireland’s crudest, funniest and consistently best blogger, Twenty Major, has signed a book deal. [...]
March 22nd, 2007 at 11:14 pm
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Who’s going to play you in the movie of the book of the blog?
March 22nd, 2007 at 11:47 pm
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Fair enough, Maroon. I’ll have to spend my time drinking lots of free booze and stuff. You can drink my alcoholic wee.
March 22nd, 2007 at 11:50 pm
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Congrats Twenty! I’ll be looking forward to buy one. Damn, it’s only March and I already know what I want this Christmas!
March 22nd, 2007 at 11:53 pm
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Congrats. I look forward to it.
March 22nd, 2007 at 11:55 pm
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This is the best news since Jesus. Congrats.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:00 am
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Deadly! A Ulysees of the 21st century! Just think.. in a hundred years time, all them future f*ckers will be dressing up like you on TwentyMajor Day…
So when are you running for election? You’d have my vote, AND those of all my dead pets.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:01 am
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excellent stuff twenty. finally remembered those two lines you forgot two years ago?
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:14 am
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Behan’s ghost hovers at your shoulder…
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:26 am
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iced coffee words » twenty strikes a deal says:
[...] Gleeson on Wednesday night were today confirmed by the man himself in a post entitled “So, this whole book thing“. As if two-time ‘Best Blog’ winner isn’t [...]
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:34 am
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Sell out! ;-p
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:04 am
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You know you’re going to have to start wearing black polo necks and looking off thoughtfully into the mid-distance now, dontcha? It’s part of the job, mate.
I think there’s a clause about wide-ribbed cords and a haunted past too.
I can’t ask you to sign across my tits though, like fmc. I’ve got Salman Rushdies signature there in indelible ink, only it was just after his fatwah and his hand was shaking like a leaf - what a mess he made. I had to miss out on Martin Amis too ‘cos of that, although I do have Jonathon Franzen on me bum!
Best of luck with it, Mister Twenty. I’m looking forward to it already.
March 23rd, 2007 at 6:48 am
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Twenty remember the reason we hate you is because you are a degenerate criminaland a Guinness drinking grumpy old cunt. Don’t be going and changing that opinion by giving lots of nice interviews.
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:25 am
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Twenty remember the reason we hate you is because you are a degenerate criminaland a Guinness drinking grumpy old cunt.
Duly noted.
Black polo necks? I’m not Lloyd Cole, you know.
March 23rd, 2007 at 9:47 am
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Ah fair play to ya Twenty! I’ve been reading your blog for the best part of a year now so I’m really looking forward to the book!
March 23rd, 2007 at 9:52 am
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Man, you’re gonna be rich.
March 23rd, 2007 at 10:16 am
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God damn it, I begrudge. Why should the people that do all the hard work and have all the talent get the breaks and all the chances to autograph tits? It’s so unfair.
And what’s with all the well-wishing commenters. The default Irish reaction to good news is to begrudge. More begrudgery, I say. More.
March 23rd, 2007 at 11:50 am
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Fair do’s Twenty, I am thrilled to see that the writing at last has been noticed by a publisher, more power to you.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:07 pm
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McAWilliams Verba says:
Twenty Major got a book deal!!!
It was bound to happen at some stage that Mr Major was going to get noticed by either a publisher or an advertising agency for his writing skills. Well Sinead Gleeson announced he got a 2 book deal from Hodder…
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:25 pm
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I can’t wait to read it and then smooth the corners and give it as a present to a loved one
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:06 pm
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Congrats Twenty! I usually just nick books off other people but I might actually fork out for yours…
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:09 pm
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it was always going to happen…
Celia Ahern got a book deal cause of her ‘connections’ with the Taoiseach.
Twenty, being the bastard son of Edwina Currie and John Major , was bound to follow.
now lets hope he isn’t as ‘talented’.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:11 pm
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Wow! The only thing after this is the ‘Podge and Ridge Show.’
March 23rd, 2007 at 3:07 pm
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Dublin Opinion » Polish Your Tributes While Taking The Sheen Off Others says:
[...] within the Irish blog-o-sphere there’s the impressive news that Twenty Major has secured a two book deal with Hodder Headline Ireland. It’s only after you hear the news that it makes perfect sense and [...]
March 23rd, 2007 at 5:22 pm
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Uhhh, is this the begrudgery line…?
Seriously tho…what a natural progression of events. Congratulations.
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:02 pm
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So, can we expect you in the near future to be going “mano a mano” with Podge and Rodge so as to hawk your wares?
Congrats by the way!
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:19 pm
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Clitical acclaim beckons……
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:22 pm
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Finally, with that hodder advance - you can now become a scientologist…
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:41 pm
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You’re a lucky cunt Twenty, and it’s a truly tragic admission I know, but I really look forward to a book about the Bollix & Bastardface & the rest - they help me to make sense of things after a hard day of gettting bent(over) by spin doctors.
Every time I look at the old girl, I think of Bastardface and tell her what a bitch she is, with renewed pride and zest.
Here’s to hoping that Hodder give you enough of a donation to get a heater so you can stand around in your y-fronts drinking beer & dreaming you’re in Jamaica.
March 25th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
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Here’s to hoping that Hodder give you enough of a donation to get a heater so you can stand around in your y-fronts drinking beer & dreaming you’re in Jamaica.
Why did you have to put that image in my head? It’s like a mental screensaver.
March 25th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
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…distracting to such extent that I forgot the conratulations I was here for - brilliantness!
March 25th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
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whatithink » Blog Archive » Blogging Has Its Rewards says:
[...] foul-mouthed Twenty Major has managed to either threaten or cajole the Hodder Headline into giving him money to write not [...]
March 25th, 2007 at 8:40 pm
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Egg-balancers unite. « Kav’s Blog says:
[...] not to mention Twenty’s news - mofo has only gone and gotten hisself a two-book deal. You can congratulate him here. It’s well-deserved - over two and a half years of blogging hilarious sheeit almost [...]
March 25th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
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Well, I cannot claim responsibility for implanting that image as I have never witnessed Twenty in his y-fronts, although I do sincerely hope that when he eventually does drink beer in his y-fronts, in front of the radiator dreaming of Jamaica, that he does the responsible thing and does so on his own.
I myself will bear the scars of that vivid image interminably.
March 26th, 2007 at 11:14 am
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Congratulations you bollix.
March 26th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
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Brilliant news! I’m delighted, and look forward to buying the book.
March 26th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
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Class stuff, Twents. Well done. About bleedin time too.
March 27th, 2007 at 11:24 am
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Well you’ve recieved loads of well-wishes and congratulations, i may as well ad my two-pence or cent.
Well done and best of luck to you.
March 29th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
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Thank You
April 25th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
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WillKnott.ie » Blog Archive » she verbed his adjective adjective noun says:
[...] Twenty’s entry in to the book world I think I might be able to squeeze a short story out of me. Sometimes I can’t resist a good [...]
April 1st, 2008 at 8:59 pm
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