Who?

Popped into Ron’s for a lunchtime pint.

“Here, someone was looking for you earlier”, said Stinking Pete who’d been there since opening time and thought it was actually St Patrick’s Day.

“Yeah? It wasn’t some intrepid reporter with a spiral notebook and a stubby pencil, was it?”

“Nah. He didn’t say who he was. He just said Hoddle wanted to talk to you?”

“Hoddle? What the fuck would former Spurs and England coach Glenn Hoddle want with me?”

“Fucked if I know. I wasn’t really listening to him anyway.”

Perhaps he wants to let that faith healing lady lay hands upon me. I’m not one for violence but I would certainly have to break her wrist if she touched me. I don’t like to be touched.

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13 Responses to Who?

  1. porridge says:

    don’t like being touched? is that from your radio days?

  2. Sid Trotter says:

    I think he probably meant a ‘hoodie’

  3. MacDara says:

    touched or touched up

  4. Dr Maroon says:

    Have a good day tomorrow Major, even though we both know of one serpent the saintly Patrick missed

    Kind regards,
    Your favourite feckless Scotch cunt.

  5. Sid Trotter says:

    Have a great Paddy’s Day all – it’s my son’s birthday tomorrow so twenty 5 year olds will be destroying the house and driving their folks into an early drink while they deface the carpets, wipe bogeys on the walls and stick lego up the cat’s arse

    Slanche

  6. Carlisle says:

    25 year olds should have a little more maturity…….

  7. Twenty Major says:

    Have a good day tomorrow Major, even though we both know of one serpent the saintly Patrick missed

    Yes indeed. The insidious evil of Isla St Clair is overlooked time and again.

  8. Have the best day a curmudgeonly old git can have and mix with folk and then come back and tell us what a shower os cunts they are.

    Remind me to tell you my Mick lally twentymajor story..

  9. There’s nothing as bad as having hands laid on you – urgh, no!

  10. KateCrimson says:

    I love you, Twenty Major. There’s somethin’ to be said for a man who makes me laugh till I piss myself.

    Ta very much, you miserable cunt.

    KissKiss

    Happy St. Patrick’s Day

  11. kev says:

    You may have missed out on a ride, could be that your man was trying to tellyou you’re a model for your glenn hoddle. I don’t know why you sometimes bad-mouth Mary Harney , I met her in Copenhagen Yesterday and found her to be a charming and erudite hornbag.

  12. With all the great wit here…it would be cool to get alternative captions to the photo gem I spotted in the Indo yesterday. See my blog today.

  13. Kim says:

    I have no frickin’ idea what you’re talking about, but it entertained me nonetheless. So, I’m ignant.
    But, Happy Belated Saint Patrick’s Day to ya.

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