Hasn’t Grafton Street become a lot more entertaining than it used to be?
Of course there are still the old reliables to laugh at. Those young girls who flock from clothes shop to clothes shop, all of them with the same hairsprayed blonde hairstyle and D4 accents. The young lads who hang around outside McDonalds and HMV, the people who queue outside the AIB at the bottom of the street for the ATM when the queues inside are always shorter and the flower ladies with the voice like the offspring of Ronnie Drew and Chris Rea.
But nowadays Grafton Street is becoming like Barcelona’s Ramblas except much shorter, wetter and without quite as many pickpockets, petty thieves, ‘guess which cup the ball is under’ blokes and stalls selling wild animals of every shape and size (Dirty Dave once bought an ocelot until we made him bring it back. We had no need for an ocelot that day).
There are street performers galore. There’s an old guy with a tin whistle. There was one guy before Christmas dancing around doing the rumba and cha-cha with a Japanese sex doll he’d dressed in a black gown. There are lots more buskers. There are those strange people who dress themselves up to look like statues and then stand on plinths all day long, moving only when somebody puts a coin in their cup. I said cup. Nautrally, I’m not counting the fuckers who sit in doorways playing the accordian. Those cunts need to be shot in the face to show that accordianism simply will not be tolerated.
The other night, as I was wandering up Grafton Street, I even saw some street theatre with a group of six or seven young Irish lads acting out a scene where they kicked the fucking shite out of some Eastern European bloke. The special effects of blood and gore and bits of teeth flying through the air were very realistic, I have to say. It’s all terribly chic and bohemian.
It’s a long way from the days when that bloke with the green mohawk sat on top of the bin and sold copies of the Big Issue. How Dublin has grown up, eh?
Know what you mean about those flowersellers. My Mother was DISGUSTED when she noticed that one of them was the image of HER!!!!
Thats gut with the Mohawk, what every happened to him and the other guy with really long hair and a beard that sat outside Bewleys selling In Dublin. Characters they were. But This new Drama group seem to have gotten the right idea no more of this Mime artist shite , its real action street theater. They should try and get some Black actors involved to make it more real. Also Maybe Blackie Connor ( Is he still on TV) could join and they could re-enact an scene from the Country jsut to entertain the boggers when they are up shopping.
Wanted to comment on your site, MacD, but have to register to do so. Can you open it up?
Jaynee, reminds me of the Diceman pacing slowly up the street, winking… The Dandelion Market, U2 still in nappies, then later the Benzini Brothers, the smell of coffee from Bewleys…
Hang on a minute, I tink I feel a buke coming on…
Sorry, my mistake – it was’nt a buke, it was just wind…
Oh for the days of casually setting light to young ladies miniskirts while they garbled on their mobiles looking in at something fancy in a shop window, then watching the panic on their faces as they realised their mini skirts were getting even shorter revealing their brazilians – such merry times. Brings a tear to the eye now it does.
Wish I could Twenty but it is a fucking Microsoft thing they only allow Hotmail users comment. trying to Fucking monopolising the net, sorriest thing I ever did was start a blog using MSN spaces. But hey what can you do !
A fella up our street is an Accordian player. One beautiful summers day he went to a small gig at a local fete. After a lengthy performance he left and drove home. On the way he noticed people sitting outside a pub. He stopped the car in pub car park to sample a beer. Whilst sitting there after about 5 minutes he had a horrible thought. He had left the drivers window down on his car. My accordian, he thought. He rushed to his car…too late there was another three accordians on his back seat.
Heh. You just reminded me of Old Blindy Eyes, an accordion player who used to sit outside a jeweller’s shop on Shop Street in Galway. He was there every feckin day, playing the same wheezy, nimble-fingered music, with that same shit-eating Stevie Wonder grin on his greasy face, his accordion box open in front of him for people to throw change into. I saw a couple of knackers empty it out one day while he was caught up in a particularly passionate solo.
He’s dead now, of course. I heard he was shot in the face.
The other day when Paris Hilton was promoting her scent on Grafton street. The whole front of the shop full of people. Even when somebody fired off a stink bomb it didn’t drove people away.
But can somebody please get rid of that bird-wistle guy? I think the only reason for him doing that is so he can wistle at the woman without getting smacked.
I hate Grafton street
I gave an accordion player some fries from McDs once (I didn’t actually want them) and the fucker started chasing me claiming I was insulting him (in Romanian), Betcha its more than he’d get at home!! Luckily he had his poxy accordion strapped on and it was Paddys day so mysmelf and my poxy green milkshake made a quick getaway into the crowd of twats dressed as Fat Americans saying shit like “Woaahh there fella!” and similar type shit. Bit bleeding scary to be honest plus I looked back and his kid was eating them. Maybe Mc’ds fries get stuck in gold teeth?!
Saw Pat Ingoldsby there yesterday with his little book stall…
at the bottom of Las Ramblas there is a monument to Columbus (wrong continent discovering, native slaughtering, bullshit artist)
at the bottom of Grafton St. there is a statue of Molly Malone (fish selling part time whore).
1 up for Dublin there.
While you are shooting the accordion players how about kneecapping the D4 teenage girls who upon seeing each other run screaming each others name up and down Grafton St.noisy cunts
Accordianism will not be tolerated? Gogol Bordello would have your arse, Twenty, yes they would.
Mind you, after the blog awards, so would everyone.
Yeah but hes not half as kool as he was with the red bat/patphone embedded into his head and the fried egg hanging from his hat!
Twenty can raise my comment and place it underneath number 11? Ta (just keeping it groovy!)
I can’t alter the position of the comments, Duvet. I’m assuming you’re talking about Gogol Bordello though.
TSL – I’m not much of a fighter, you’re right.
I didn’t mean that way… ahem.
For fuck’s sake Sweary, I can’t believe you’re gone all gay for Twenty.
He’s dreamy!
Jaiysus – ‘Twenty is dreamy’. I’ve heard it all now. The mans a cross between the puked up vomit of an ingrate drunk and the flotsam of a mackerel’s arse so he is. ‘Dreamy’ my arse. Nice fellah tho
One time I was walking down Grafton street with some Americans visiting us and we saw a guy literally spanking his monkey out in the open walking down the road whilst talking on his phone. I just about died… you can bet that’s the only story the Yanks here about Dublin now – how well the Irish are hung!!!!
Not so much dreamy as nightmarey.
I have to say I’ve never seen anybody wanking on Grafton Street while talking on their mobile.
Yeah, let’s just hope it was a once off!
Did you wait for the money shot, Pissed Off?
Fuck no… I was appalled and embarassed! Last time I play fucking tourguide!
What sort of Monkey was it? Maybe he didn’t know Like Kav when he was younger.
Used to fuckin hate the Diceman. I’ve trained my children to throw stones at anyone who even looks like he might do a mime on the streets.
My monkey may have been on show MacD, but I definitely wasn’t spanking it. That happened later.
Grafton St. ripped off the moving statue idea from the Ramblas and I doubt that this will be the end of it. It’s just a matter of time before they copy the Moroccan pickpockets and transvestite prostitute attractions as well.
Whatever happened to the Peruvian bands? They used to be everywhere in Europe and the US, but you never see one them these days. Maybe they were finally all arreted and shipped back…pickpockets and thieves all of them.
Nah, they were all done for looking like they were cruising, now they’re just Perusing instead
sorry, forgot to insert the ‘boom, boom’
Last seen in Galway 2 weeks ago. Pan pipes ago-go and picking all pockets in sight.
A mate of mine when he went up to Dublin to go to the big person school out in Belfield told us of three traveller lads who he saw on Grafton st. the first time he was on it who were trying to play music with combs and a mouth organ. Strange thing was he would see then pretty much every time he wandered along the place. After four years they kind of grew on him as being part of the local colour of the place and he had almost overcome his normal reluctance to give our less settled brethren cash, accept that what stopped him was after all that time, they still hadn’t learnt to play any focking tune at all! I mean how hard could it be to learn to play a tune, any tune on a paper/comb thing?
McDara,
There is enough in that bottle to fuel the next space shuttle.
I see you in 10 yrs with some serious disease of the liver….
The feckers with the bongos and the incessant totally rhythm-less mess – they get me to thinking where I can pick up an RPG or 3…
When I was a kid in Galway, we used to go up to the blind accordionist (mentioned earlier!) and fiddle with the bellows on the accordion as he was playing – funny how blind guys pull the funnniest faces when they’re pissed…!!
Is it like that everynight or weekends or holidays?
love the blog twenty iam one of the many new fans since the win, grafton street is awash with hot birds between the hourse of 12 and 2 weekdays. i just cant wait till the summer when the girls of ireland remember their feminity and get them out. love the word cunt by the way. great word
Hey, you didn’t happen to meet Tommy Spooner selling camel shit for hash did you. If you do say hello to him from paddy.
Accordianism should be stamped out like the insidious underground movement it is. They’ve even go their own Manifesto and everything. With a capital M and everything, cocky-yet-charming-and-traditional buggers, that they are.
God, from all I’ve heard I’m going to have to start fancying Twenty too. It’s exhausting all this fancying other bloggers. I fancy everyone, or their brains at least. It was only the wee pooing picture that stopped me flinging my knickers at the screen every time I logged in. But that’s not really you, eh? Kav, Sweary, fmc, Bock the list goes on – I fling me knickers for all of them – I can’t keep up. The laundry alone is crippling.
Did anyone happen to read the papers the other day with more information about that 14-year old jackeen who was allegedly abused by a ‘ring’ of gay men (which, fortunately, did not include the ubiquitous David Norris this time)?
Turns out that the 14-year old had an advert running on gaydar and HE was the one ‘grooming’ the punters, not the other way around.
Will the wonders of the internet never cease?
PLease lets get laws protecting children from paedophiles.
14-year old sex entrepreneurs aren’t children.
In most of Europe, 14 is ‘age of consent’ anyway.
yacuncha, I hope you’re fucking joking. If not you are one stupid cunt.
Have you ever heard of this thing called pornography, Sam? It might be just your ticket.
Stupid, Kav. All I know what you know, from the newspapers. It was all in the Herald early this week, and in the Business Post on Sunday. The lad from Swords said he was 19 in his asd profile. He lied. He solicited sex by joining a queer website and posting a commercial advert. He received EU 140 when he went out. No force involved.
This would be a non-story in Denmark, France, Greece or Poland, where the age of consent is 15. It would prove even less sensational in Austria, Bulgaria, Croatia, Estonia, Portugal or Iceland where the age of consent is 14. In Spain you can have gay sex at 13 and in Malta, the age of consent is 12.
Do you not think it better to try to prevent real paedophilia (paedo means child, not 14-year old queers)?
Not that I want to encourage this sort of thing Twenty, but you should be able to alter the position of the comments by clicking that little e beside them when you’re logged in – and down below you can then edit the timestamp.
Can of worms though – which is something else I’ve seen on Grafton Street.
Apologies for my flying off the handle yacuncha – thought you were referring to a different story I read recently, about a young guy who was confused about his sexuality and was being groomed by these predators in some gay chatroom. I thought you were inferring that he was responsible in some way for their behaviour, which was what got me bothered, since he was just a confused child. Sorry about that.
“abused by a ‘ring’ of gay men”
Yacuncha…I know it’s a serious issue but you make it sound like he was abused by some Morris Dancers.
Yacuncha you are a wanker.
You wouldnt say a word if the child involved was a culchie you just have a serious Anti Dublin complex going on.
Whats wrong? were you groomed by some “jackeens” then bummed repeatedly while wearing a little sailor suit?
you felt dirty and ashamed not because you were anally invaded,
but because you liked it.
I’d call you a cunt but a cunt is useful
I used the word ‘jackeen’ because the boyo in question was from Swords, Co. Dublin. Had he been from Swinford I’d have said ‘culchie.’ Had he been from Limerick I might have used something else.
Never had a ‘little sailor suit,’ but would have liked one.
That’s funny I thought the age of consent was higher than 14 in Ireland…must be all the accordianists…
“strange people who dress themselves up to look like statues and then stand on plinths all day long, moving only when somebody puts a coin in their cup. I said cup.”
My plumber does that, except he has a coin slot.
chasing i cars sports chasing cars
This one makes sence “One’s first step in wisdom is to kuesstion everything – and one’s last is to come to terms with everything.”
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