Teen binge drinking
Posted in Blog by Twenty Major on February 26th, 2007
Apparently the government are thinking of introducing random testing of school students to check for drink and drugs. They’re worried about this so-called ‘binge drinking’.
Minister for Children, Brian Lenihan said:
We need to find out why young people drink, how they are introduced to it and how they view excessive drinking. We will also seek views on the most effective way to deal with teen binge drinking.
Can I just take a moment to save the goverment a lot of time and effort and answer those questions? Ok, they drink because that’s what young people do and have done since time began, they’re introduced to it by their parents and older brothers and sisters who go out and get locked every weekened, they view excessive drinking as a good laugh and, in all seriousness, the best way to deal with teen binge drinking is to kill all teenagers.
You’d swear this binge drinking thing was something new. When I was a teenager, all those years ago, we’d all meet up before going out to discos or parties and get as shitfaced as we could. There was a pub down in Terenure which served the youngsters and you’d go and drink pints and drop shots of whiskey into them the same way the kids today do these Jaegerbombs or whatever the fuck they’re called.
When we were teenagers we could buy a bottle of Huzzar vodka, drink it neat, go to a party, steal things, break things and I even remember one time when somebody decided they’d have a piss in the living room so they whipped out their lad and pissed all over the couch.
There were fights outside places like the Grove and Wesley fuelled by too much hooch carried in a hip-flask and necked during the night. There were scraps outside the chipper when someone would get annoyed with someone else for standing too close to them. Road signs were taken down, giant ice-cream cones were nicked from outside shops until the Gardai passed by as you carted it home and made you turn around and put the thing back, flower boxes were gardened on Grafton Street, windows were broken, bus shelters smashed, air was let out of tyres and a million other stupid things went on.
They talk about links between alcohol and juvenile crime. Shock fucking horror. What about the links between alcohol and regular grown up crime? What’s the fucking difference? It’s hard to say that adults are better at holding their drink than teenagers when you see Dame Street on a Saturday night at 3am. Why no porgrams to combat adult binge drinking?
The whole thing is a fucking waste of money. Kids will be kids, teenagers will drink flagons of cider or naggins of vodka and do stupid things and some of them will get sick on buses or in taxis or on each other and some of the boys will fight and do stupid stuff.
So it has been since the dawn of time and thus it shall ever be so would you fucking stop wasting my money trying to find out why they do it?
And you know what’s worse? These holier than thou teenagers they get on the radio sometimes saying “If only we had better facilities for young people” blah blah blah. Shut the fuck up, you spanner. There’s always someone with a free gaff. A poxy youth centre with some volunteers who are only there to groom you isn’t really a better option.
Tomorrow, the government launches massive campaign to find out why people don’t sunbathe in Ireland.
Gaybo is getting all the drugs legalised anyway so it won’t matter.
February 26th, 2007 at 9:42 am
No need to sun bathe in Ireland, if you want a tan just go to the bog , strip off get some of the top orange peat give your body a good pasting with that, it’s better than any of them tanning booths and that other crap…
I you want a real tan you have to go back to 1921 in Croke park, not one person died from skin cancer!!!
February 26th, 2007 at 9:45 am
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I remember going out on the razzle in my teens and being able to get over it the next day with hardly any bother. These days I just don’t bounce back from a hangover as quickly as before and a bunch of bevies can really take it out of me. The fact is, teenagers are more physically adapted to alcohol. I’m so glad I did my heavy drinking back then and not now. You can’t argue with Mother Nature.
February 26th, 2007 at 9:53 am
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Binge drinking is ok, but minge drinking also has its merits!!!!
February 26th, 2007 at 9:55 am
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True on the hangovers, Lung. I used to be able to drink the town dry and get up and do it all again in the morning. Mind you, the town was pretty small.
February 26th, 2007 at 10:04 am
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I’m linking you to my blog if you have any objection please tell me and I’ll remove it promptly.
Yours Paddy
February 26th, 2007 at 11:14 am
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On the same bill as ” why people don’t sunbathe in Ireland.” is also the campaign to find out why pensioners smell of piss.
February 26th, 2007 at 11:33 am
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My dad took me for my first pint of Guinness at 15. He had to - I’d been begging him for ages. All the other lads had been drinking for years by then.
February 26th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
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Killing them all is a good idea. there such arseholes from 13 - 18. Were we all like that
February 26th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
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what’s the official age for drinking beer here? 18?? do you think that’ll work?
Make it sixteen, let them in the pubs, let them have a few drinks untill the bartender says no, it’s enough.
Look at Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Denmark, etc: to buy light alcoholic drinks (5%): at least 16 years. Heavy (above 5%) alcoholic drinks: 18 years.
Drink sensible. What fun does a teenager have in the weekends? They are not allowed in the pubs, youth centres don’t serve alcohol, so it’s on the streets asking other people to go to the offy for them.
It’s pathetic. Like a group of herione addicts looking for a score.
btw, I started drinking at a youth centre with volunteers back in the Netherlands at 15/16 years of age.
February 26th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
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There’s no such thing as youth centres. “Youth Centre” is just a phrase people use in country towns and on the southside where everyone has an immobiliser.
February 26th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
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Who put Bomp in the Bompshawaddy…and who put Ram in the Ramalamadingdong?
February 26th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
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Brian Lenihan?!
Now there’s a name you would never associate with the adverse health effects that can result from alcohol abuse.
February 26th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
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Televised random testing for alcohol abuse among td’S.
Its a fresh new show that will replace the “late late”.
February 26th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
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Irish politicians just aren’t publicly humiliated enough. Look at that fat fuck John prescott. He’s important enough and people are always taking the piss. I’d love to see Michael McDowell have a basin of water dumped over him at some crass public event.
February 26th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
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Brendan Behans mother gave him drink when he was young so he might forget about it and live long,..he died!
Daniel O Donnell’s mother said don’t drink until your old, so we got years to wait!!!
February 26th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
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In the days before Dozol was readily available over the counter in chemists, Irish parents would top up the baby bottle with a teaspoon of brandy before bed.
Most kids over ten can lower a whole bottle of dozol and not be wired, they’re that conditioned. Is it any wonder they need half a litre of Vodka to get tipsy, or that they can swallow about six e tabs before the get buzzed??
February 26th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
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the words “government” and “thinking” should never be put in the same sentence, except in a sentence such as “government is to thinking as squid is to mountain climbing”.
the words “government” and “random”, on the other hand, are just made for each other - random health initiatives, random transport initiatives, etc.
February 26th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
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J! it’s to do with brains and balance!!
February 26th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
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We’re a nation of alcos and druggies because we’re so intelligent. Is that what you’re trying to say?
February 26th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
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I got drunk for the first time right after I made my confirmation. I sobered up at 20 and found myself in the fucking army. Started drinking again and never looked back. Can’t remember much of my childhood, but I guess that could be a good thing.
February 26th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
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Yes, it’s a hell of a lot easier to run a bunch of useless investigations than to actually run a country.
They tried to have a teen-center when I was a kid in my home town. It was so bad, and caused so much more trouble than a bunch of drunk kids, they closed it after a year.
In Montana, we just headed to the mountains to drink. I don’t think the adults cared much as long as we weren’t in town causing mischief. I remember many a drunken camping trip throughout high school and college, till I was old enough for the bar (21).
We ran into a few wild animals, but then we were teenagers and the animals were terrified.
February 26th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
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Binge drinking my foot!
PAH!! The nippers today couldn’t drink spring-water if you ask me…
…not like in “our” day…
I remember this one time I was at this crazy party in a hotel room in NY back in ‘67. There was myself, Jim Morrisson and his group The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, Mick Jagger, Keith Moon and this 18 year old groupie. We all dropped some acid and to cut a long story short we all got down to business.
The groupie proceeded to perform oral sex on Jim Morrisson. She then moved on to his guitar player, his drummer and finally his keyboard player! Next
thing she proceeds to unzip Mick Jagger for more of the same, when all of a sudden this Mini Cooper motor car comes crashing through the hotel room wall!!
Who should step out of the car but none other than the Actor Michael Caine, wearing his trademark beige overcoat and national health spectacles!
Caine takes one look at the groupie who is just about to give Mick Jagger a good time and shouts..”OI! YOU’RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS
OFF!!!” …How we all laughed!
Binge drinking?? Don’t make me laugh!
Your chum
Brigadier General Sir Raymond Luxury-Yacht O.B.E.
February 26th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
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We went to the castle grounds with a bottle of vodka and a 12 pack for 7 of us. We used to enjoy the way the midges passed out after they’d bitten us and sucked up our 80 proof blood. Then, only then would we go into town to begin the night out proper. It was a 25 minute brisk walk in a cold Atlantic wind into town but it never seemed worse than a toasty 5 minute amble when we were on the swallie.
The reason teenagers in britain and Ireland drink so much is that we are North-West Europeans and it has ever been thus. I have an idea that I once read our patterns of binge-drinking began with soldiers in the middle-ages but I might be making it up, I don’t know.
Somebody should ask the Lenihan bloke why he drank as a teenager, because you know he did.
We never used to trust anybody that didn’t get larroping at the weekend. You must be a bit of a psycho if you didn’t, we thought.
The lack of proper hangovers is another reason for teen drinking. There’s no payback until you’re 25 and by then you’ve figured out that it’s worth it. Not always, but the sometimes will keep us going.
February 26th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
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I wud ad te thus bat iamyfriend as stueying an mye muthore wheel biy hoam suun an wes goong to chirr praxtis on teh horkan….
February 26th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
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well said i’m eleveen.the reason teens and the rest of the nation drink, in a word is procreation.We are the ugliest race in europe.intelligent,sometimes.witty,always.
but goddamned ugly.
if it were’nt for the beer goggles we’d go the way of the Aztec’s and Inca’s.
The old Catholic sexual repression doesnt help either
so a couple of fat frogs loosen’s the inhibitions.
Teenagers dont get hangovers and have no conscience hence no regrets.thats why we hate them.
There is only one answer for a hangover and regrets,more beer.
It’s a vicious circle.
Problem solved Lenihan now pay up.
I don’t accept cheques.
And dont tell me your broke im sure Sean Haughey can find a few bob in your dad’s Operation fund
February 26th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
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I drukns allsthems azztecsan an incasess laargerss but tha cathsololics sehusall stufff musthh be englisshite chus I neversh hadiit. shhorrie/,/.,./,
I’ll bee twwelve shoonsh.,…..
February 26th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
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Under age drinking, under age sex,under age this under age that, etc,etc,etc..even under age death, you die when your nienty and they say I didn’t think he’d die that soon???…..
February 26th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
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HEH HEH HEH…. MULE!
February 27th, 2007 at 11:27 am
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Brigadier, that joke was excellent!!
February 27th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
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omg wat a great idea….stalk the students!
June 1st, 2008 at 9:36 am
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