Worst night’s sleep ever

If there’s one thing worse than not sleeping it’s sort of sleeping but dreaming that you’re not sleeping. So you’re lying there desperately trying to nod off but when you do finally drift away you dream that you’re lying there trying to get asleep.

That happened to me for about 4 hours last night. Then I was freezing cold. Got up to have a slash. Took some Ibuprofen for no other reason than it was beside the bed then I lay there sweating.

I’m now as tired and worn out as Paris Hilton’s minge. Bah. I hate not sleeping.

Update: It seems Bastardface had a fitful night too as most of the rubbish in the kitchen bin seems to have been strewn about the house. He’s looking slightly ashamed. Slightly.

And it seems Throatripper has been up to his high jinks too. There’s a dead condor at the back door.

Some days…

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32 Responses to Worst night’s sleep ever

  1. Sinéad says:

    I bet you couldn’t sleep thinking about Grainne Seoige saying the words yesterday:
    “So, who IS Twenty Major?”

  2. Dale de moin marn says:

    You just doze off and then…the f*ckin’ alarm clock goes off.

  3. Carlisle says:

    Twenty, I regularly prescribe myself several pints of lager which seems to do the trick. After careful experimentation you will find the appropriate amount of mid week alcohol to consume; sufficient to induce a dreamless sleep but not enough to leave you with a throbbing head. Getting the balance right is difficult and I for one, failed miserably last night in the local boozer. My delicate state, by the way is being magnified by my new screeen resolution (1024 x 768) which frankly I don’t like. There has to be another solution for those of us who like slightly larger fonts. …. wasn’t that murderer from Ballymun a real scum bag by the way??

  4. Twenty Major says:

    She did seem particularly curious, Sinead.

    Dale – that’d be ideal.

    Carlisle – might I suggest upgrading from Windows 3.1. That might do the trick.

  5. Carlisle says:

    In work I have Windows 2000(prof). I’m due an upgrade to XP which will hopefully resolve the issue. I work off XP at home and have no issues. I am sure the problem will work itself out ……….

  6. Dale de moin marn says:

    Sinead: Yeah but…no but, we could all ask that question couldn’t we. Like I don’t know who you are. You don’t know who I am etc…

  7. Now I have this image of you in a negligee husking out an, “ah, I feel wefreshed,” a la Madeline Kahn from Blazing Saddles…

    Yeah, sleep deprivation is bad.

  8. Twenty Major says:

    Good old Blazing Saddles. One of my all time favourites of all time that …

  9. Carlisle says:

    Twenty no comment on the Seoige and O’Shea reference ? Probably not the kind of publicity that you want. More worrying is that the show actually has viewers.

  10. Twenty Major says:

    I commented on Sinead’s reference to it. What more do you want from me?

  11. Carlisle says:

    maybe some committment to a gratuitous undermining of the programme or its respective hosts in one of your future posts ?

  12. Twenty Major says:

    But I’ve never watched it and I only saw a clip of it yesterday which looked like it was filmed with a camera. I feel I’m in no position to pass comment.

  13. Aren’t most filmed things filmed with cameras?

  14. Twenty Major says:

    Pah. You knew what I meant, smart arse.

  15. Carlisle says:

    Its one of those day time chat show type programmes hosted by career RTE’ers ………. enough said. I quote from the RTE website

    “Every weekday on RTÉ ONE Gráinne and Joe will bring viewers an engaging mix that looks at the human stories behind the news headlines”

    …. hands up, if you are a no-lifer …

  16. Sid Trotter says:

    Morning. Good sleep last night and a long lay in too. What! Jaiysus, was only being polite!

  17. Yacuncha says:

    Red wine does wonders. Did you ever notice how ibuprofen makes your piss stink? I wonder what it’s doing to your liver and kidneys.

  18. kav says:

    I had a bastard of a sleep as well. I blame the heating. Still set for cold weather.

  19. Dale de moin marn says:

    What is it when piss smells of Sugar Puffs?

  20. porridge says:

    dale, most of us use milk for our cereals

  21. Gluaistean says:

    Ever dream you were eating a giant marrshmallow and when you wake up you can’t find the pillow case?

  22. Sid Trotter says:

    No. In fact I never remember dreaming, well okay, maybe once every year. Am I missing out? How can I get to remember them (if I am having them that is)

  23. Paul Curtin says:

    How do we know it wasn’t you in the bin last night? Blaming the dog is the last refuge of scoundrels, what with patriotism in the crapper and all that.

  24. Graham says:

    I’ve got this neighbour who is a right cunt. Once i dreamt that he’d been murdered in one of those urban gang shootings that are very popular in England at the moment. I had a smug smirk on my face thinking
    “He’s dead , the cunt’s been shot , he’s gone.”
    I even dreamed i saw his mother weeping inconsolably. That made me smirk even more. When i woke and realised he was still alive i was right royal fucked off about it.

  25. porridge says:

    dreamt was late for work. woke up and it was saturday. then really woke up and was late for work. pretended it was saturday. bastard dreaming stuff.

  26. Loco Lobo says:

    In your line of work we are led to believe you operate at night which means that you sleep during the day, ergo, it’s the sun keeping you up.
    Go legit and get yourself a civil service position where you can tire yourself out during the day doing crossword puzzles, nipping and napping. (Napping on a civil service job doesn’t count as sleeping.)Then, when you hit the fartsack at night, you’ll have no trouble at all dropping off into a sound sleep. Honest work has that effect on a body.

  27. Ldbug says:

    maybe a slight cold comming on?

  28. pot says:

    Loco you got it, but the wrong way round,
    Most of the the commenters are civil service aas well!!!

  29. desertman says:

    Twenty, your web appears to me bad/ margin items cover your wonderful tales oflife.

    Oh me what can I do?

  30. Mary from Dunloe says:

    Last week you were having nightmares this week you can’t sleep, you never mention haveing your leg over, I think you should start dipping the pudding more often, that will fix your sleep patteren…tell us how you get on…..

  31. - umm, no, don’t, but Mary has a point in a way, but writing is supposed to be a bit soporiffic like choking the monkey, isn’t it?

  32. paddy whack says:

    have yourself a good burn and just goof-off, and on the whole night, then sleep it off the next day. Just try to drink and eat a little in between. When you’ve had enough of that join Britney in the Eric Clapton centre singing ” I went down to the crossroads got down on my knees.” You can take me as your rider by your side. Dig it?

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