Here we go…

Classic Irishness:

The Government was urged last night to act immediately and build an orbital road around Dublin. A National Road Authority study has found that the new €1bn road from Naas to Drogheda is feasible on cost grounds and would divert large volumes of traffic off the M50 motorway.

Brilliant. Sort of lost in the story here is the fact that the M50 was supposed to be an orbital road to take traffic out of the city centre but as we all know that has failed miserably.

What’ll happen is they’ll build this road, slap a toll booth right in the middle of and call it a motorway even though it’ll only have two lanes. Then the traffic will build up and it’ll take hours to get from one end of this road to other, all the while the traffic in the city centre will be just as bad and the M50 just won’t move at all.

Then someone will suggest another orbital road which will start in Arklow, pass through Galway and end up in Downpatrick. When that becomes full there’ll be another big problem because we’ll have run out of land to actually build on so some bright spark in the National Roads Authority will suggest the world’s longest suspension bridge when the road, which starts in Rosslare, bypasses the previous road around Limerick and comes within sight of Iceland before it hits ground again somewhere near Portrush.

You realise what’s happening, don’t you? This is all a plot between the Government and Raleigh to make us use bicycles. The Government have invested billions of pension money into the bike making firm banking on making huge returns when using a car becomes completely impractical.

They think they’re so smart but I’m onto them. Oh yes, I am.

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24 Responses to Here we go…

  1. Vilnius club of fun and comedy says:

    Ha Ha. We make roads out of the corpses of those that are not fast enough to get out of the way of our steamrollers. . And we charge people to use it. It is a very good invention this toll thing which we are doing well now. Maybe there will one day be a road between here and there.

  2. Vilnius club of fun and comedy says:

    is the club closed today twenty – all of your frinds go away, no?

  3. Vilnius club of fun and comedy says:

    maybe they on the way to my club, you wanna come to, i can fix you up with free drink and a couple of girls that are really dirty you old doggy.

  4. Twenty Major says:

    Hopefully they are on their way. And even more hopefully they’ll burn it down. With you inside.

  5. Vilnius club of fun and comedy says:

    whats this you ol goodfurnuthin scoop of arse ice cream. I was being nice to you and this is how you repay me. You think careful mr twenty, we are known for our love of the vendettas. Maybe you are just being the funny one huh? if so, ha ha h ah ah ha, you is very good man. If no, i slit your throat with my dick

  6. fat lump says:

    Vilnius, bog off. It is quiet today because here in Ireland it is library day

  7. Janice PID says:

    Well said Lump. Besides Vilnius as about as Lithanian as my uncle Terry’s great hairy backside. My boyfriend Karel now, he’s the real thing. You’d hate him too. Everybody does.

  8. Twenty Major says:

    If there’s anything worse than an annoying commenter it’s one commenter using different names to have a conversation with himself.

  9. fat lump says:

    bless you twenty, anyone seen Sid?

  10. kav says:

    Ah shtop will ye. You’re scaring everyone off.

  11. Beady says:

    “They think they’re so smart but I’m onto them. Oh yes, I am.”

    Sorta like “The Skibbereen Eagle is keeping it’s eye on Russia” – a famous headline from the 50′s

  12. Dale de moin marn says:

    Yes… I’ve noticed a distinct lack of Sid Trotter.

  13. Sid Trotter says:

    Sorry, been in Lithuania too long

  14. Dale de moin marn says:

    Well you should have taken that tw*t Vilnius with you and left him there.

  15. pot says:

    Beady!I remember being able to buy 50 Major, now all I get is them small shit little packs!!

  16. So we have a Lithunian named after his own capital city, how convincing.

  17. “If there’s anything worse than an annoying commenter it’s one commenter using different names to have a conversation with himself.”

    That’s what I was thinking.

  18. kav says:

    “If there’s anything worse than an annoying commenter it’s one commenter using different names to have a conversation with himself.”

    Yeah, what kind of spa does that?

  19. not kav says:

    Yeah, what kind of spa does that?

    I agree completely kav.

  20. conan drumm says:

    Er, so… this orbital road thingy. It’s all very easy, go east over the sea. An eight lane highway on stilts from Mosney to Shanganagh/Woodbrook (Shankill) should do it.

  21. Daniel says:

    What’s next?
    Bertie on a bike singing: “I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike”.

    I don’t even want to know who will sing the corus.

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