Email me your life story, why don’t you?

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on January 31st, 2007

Maybe this doesn’t apply to everyone but I’m sure you’ve come across it. You know when you send an email to someone and you can get an automated reply, saying:

I am out of the office for the week Please forward all relevant materials to somecunt@bunchofcunts.com

Regards,
Some cunt
www.bunchofcunts.com

Well, thanks for that. It would be good if you could go into a bit more detail though. For example, if you were out of the office but actually going on holidays I’d like to know that. If you could include your flight times, your home address, the code for the alarm and the names and addresses of any key holders that would be great too.

Then this sort of information would be useful to me. Leaving it so vague as to mean you might be on holidays from work but actually staying at home to relax and read books and do a spot of gardening is not much help. I mean, it would save us both a lot of hassle if you were more precise. Honesty. The last thing either of us wants is to come face to face in your hallway when you’re padding about your house in your pyjamas and I’ve taken a bit of a gamble and figured you’ve gone Ryanair to Girona or ‘Paris’ or somewhere.

It would pain me to have to bash you over the noggin with the sap in my pocket. Honest. And think how easily it could have been avoided if only you’d given me a few more details in your email.