Yeah and then what I’ll do is I’ll wait for them and because I’ve won the lottery I’ll have invented all kinds of gadgets and one of them will be a hologram version of me and they’ll come in and think it’s me but it won’t be me at all and then I’ll just come up behind them and cave their head in with lead pipe and there’ll be brains and shit all over the place. That’ll be cool. Then if anyone asks me if I know what happened I’ll just be all like ‘Me? No. No idea. What a shocker’ but the best thing will be when I call up his wife afterwards and using a voice disguising thingy I’ll just say ‘Hey, I just killed your husband to death. Fatally’ and she’ll be crying and stuff and I’ll be laughing and then I’ll go to the games room in my big house where I’ll have an xBox and a Playstation3 and a Wii and a 100″ plasma screen which will have just been invented because I told the people at Samsung to invent it for me or I’d have them all killed and I’d be playing games and drinking beers and coming up with a totally evil plan to get rid of the other bloke which will probably be something cool like poisoning him and then watching him die slowly but at the last minute I’ll show myself to him and he will know how dastardly I am and instead of his last thoughts being about his family or his kids he’ll be thinking ‘Damn, that Twenty Major is a seriously dastardly cunt’ and that will please me. Of course I could just obliterate him in an orgy of violence but that’d mean I had to pay off more cops and I hate giving cops money, the filthy donkey fuckers, although lots of blood would quite cool. Then I’ll go back to my games room and have two dwarves fight to the death for my entertainment while I invite some of my friends around for some clay pigeon shooting but instead of clay pigeon it’d be folk-rock artists like David Gray and Damien Rice but not Ray Lamontagne and then I’ll kill the dwarf who actually killed the other dwarf in that fight to the death then, with my vast wealth, I will set up up my own political party ‘Fine Twenty’ with a manifesto so offensive that I’m bound to win the next general election and when I do I’ll show the people of Ireland what government is all about when I introduce new legislation to…
…oh, sorry. Was I blogging out loud?