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Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on November 27th, 2006

Got a phone call earlier.

“Nhello? NTwenty?”

“Who the fuck is this?”

“Nit’s Nme, NDirty NDave. Ni Nneed Nyour Nhelp. Nplease Ncome Nover Nto Nmy Ngaff.”

So off I went and knocked on the door.

“What the fuck is the matter with you?”, I asked Dave who looked like one of those frogs that blows out that bit underneath it’s mouth.

“Nerm, Ni Nhad Na Nbet Nwith NStinkin’ Npete.”

“What was the bet?”

“Nhe Nbet Nme Nthat Ni Nwouldn’t Nsuper Nglue Nmy Ntongue Nto Nthe Nroof Nof Nmy Nmouth.”

“How much was the bet for?”

“Nthree euros.”

“You superglued your tongue to the roof of your mouth for three euros?”

“Nyes.”

“Why would you do that?”

“NI’d Njust Nwatched NJackass Ntwo.”

“So you thought it would be Johnny Knoxvilletacular to do something like they did? You fucking madman. You do realise Johnny Knoxville is retarded, don’t you? That girly laugh of his tells you everything you need to know. He’s properly cracked.”

“Ni Nkow.”

So off we went to St James Hospital. When we arrived I dropped Dave off at the accident and emergency unit then fucked off into town. There’s no way I’m spending any more than is necessary with someone who would superglue their tongue to the roof of their mouth for three euros.

I gave him a bag full of 5 cent coins so he could get a taxi home though. I’m not all bad.