My left foot

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on October 27th, 2006

What a disaster befell me yesterday. I put on my favourite pair of runners and discovered that they didn’t fit any more. These runners are more comfortable than the bed in the Presidential suite in the Westbury Hotel. They are to comfort what Guinness is to beer, what Argentinian cows are to beef, what Ricicles are to breakfast cereals.

I couldn’t believe it and it’s not that they’ve gotten too small it’s that one of my feet appears to have shrunk. After years of wear these things fit me like gloves but yesterday my left foot was too small for my left runner.

It’s unlikely that the shoe has gotten bigger so it has to be my foot. It was slipping and sliding around in there like Bambi on ice.

I had to wear three socks on my left foot to make it fit properly. What the fuck is going on here then? Can it be that my foot has shrunk or have some shoe goblins broken into my house and slightly enlarged by footwear just to cause me botheration?

If it’s shoe goblins I’m going to fucking kill them, I swear to God.