An entrepreneurial shagger

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on September 29th, 2006

When I realised it was the blog’s birthday last evening I went down to Ron’s for a few pints.

“Evening lads”, I said to the assembled crew at the bar. “What are you having?”

Guinness for me, Jimmy, Splodge, Lucky Luciano, Dirty Dave and a bottle of Satzebrau for Stinking Pete, as it turned out.

“What’s the occasion?”, asked the pils drinker

“Birthday”, I said.

“But your birthday isn’t in September.”

“The birthday of my blog, Stinking Pete. Not my real birthday.”

“Oooooooh”, he said tweaking his nipples. “Your blog’s birthday. How old is your blog?”, he asked saying the word ‘blog’ like Hitler said the word ‘jew’.

“Two years old”

“Ooooh, two years old”, he said tweaking his nipples and speaking in a high-pitched voice, “aren’t you the entrepreneurial shagger?!”

“The what?”

“The entrepreneurial shagger!”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“You know. One of them shaggers who goes around doing stuff…entrepreneurialy. Look at your shoes and your pants and stuff. Only an entrepreneurial shagger would wear stuff like that.”

“Pete, do you have any idea what your on about?”

“Of course. Them entrepreneurial shaggers have been ruining my life for years and now you’re one of them.”

“Look, it’s not uncommon for me not to have the faintest idea what you’re talking about but you reached new heights/hit new lows here, Stinking Pete.”

“Ahhh, a typical entrepreneurial shagger response.”

He went off to the other end of the bar muttering to himself then. He picked up the Evening Herald and looked at the pictures for a while. A few minutes later he came back over.

“Sorry, Twenty. Cheers for the beer and happy birthday to your blog. I didn’t mean what I said. You’re not an entrepreneurial shagger at all”.

“Fair enough, Pete. No worries”.

“You’re a fucking cunt, Twenty. A proper fucking cunt”.

“I know, Pete. I know.”