Shove your organic clothes up your hole

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on September 28th, 2006

I was listening to the radio the other day and there was this woman on talking about organic clothes. No, really.

She said that the various chemicals they use in cheap clothing, especially in cotton, has a terrible effect on the environment. Something like twenty-five percent of the insecticides used globally go on cotton plants, which are then made into your t-shirts, underwear, shirts and other ‘disposable’ clothing that you can buy cheaply in shops all over the world.

She suggested that in order to care for the environment we should buy ‘organic’ clothes. Lots of companies are now launching ranges of organic clothes. She gave the example of one vest, made from organic cotton, costing €250.

HAHA! €250 for a fucking vest. She tried to say that because the clothes were higher quality than the cheap stuff it would last longer and end up being better value for money. What a load of shit. €250 on a vest! Are they mad?

That would be like spending more than €15 getting a hair cut or anything over €100 on footwear.

Anyway, she overlooked an important point. The cheap clothes, when you’ve finished with them, can be recycled and given to poor people who can’t afford to buy new clothes let alone €250 organic vests.

And after seeing that Al Gore film I’m determined to do my bit to destroy the environment so I’m going to buy a hundred cotton t-shirts tomorrow, really fucking cheap ones, then I’m going to go give them to homeless people. I might have a catchy slogan put on the front like “I have nits!” or “If you can smell me without vomiting there’s something wrong with your sense of smell”.

Organic clothing. Fucking hell. What next? Organic toilet paper? Organic children? Organic battered sausage and chips? The world has gone organic mad and I won’t stand for it.

“Oh, but think of the next generations!”, those organic loving cuntbutlers say.

“Did the previous generations think of us when they invented damaging things like cigarettes, cocaine, leaded petrol, Israelis, cholesterol and jazz music? No they did not so you should shut your fucking mouth and fuck off”, I reply.

I’m right though. The greatest gift we can give to our children is a big fucking mess for them to clean up. It keeps them occupied.