I got some pussy last night
Posted on | August 31, 2006 | No Comments
I was out walking with Bastardface, my trusty hound, late last night. We were trundling along the canal when his ears pricked up. There was a high pitched squeak from a plastic bag on the bank.
Bastardface pulled me over to investigate. He sniffed at the bag, gave it a few little shoves with his enormous snout and looked up at me. The bag squeaked again.
I picked it up and looked in.
“Mew!”, went a tiny little kitten that couldn’t have been more than 6 weeks old. It was filthy dirty and it looked starving. Being a person of good conscience I couldn’t just leave him like that so I put some stones in the bag and threw it in the canal.
I’m joking. I took him home. Well, I say him because he looks like a him but I haven’t had a look to see if he’s got a mickey or a flange yet. However, I have called him Throatripper (I will add ‘ette’ on the end if it turns out to be a girl cat).
I gave him a good wash under the sink with some washing up liquid and swarfiga because he had some kind of oily stuff on his coat. I dried him off and put him on the ground. This was the acid test. He would either be accepted by Bastardface, the genuine king of the house, or he would be a very quick snack.
Bastardface looked at him. Throatripper looked at Bastardface. It would be the equivalent of a dwarf looking up at Godzilla.
“Woof!”, said Bastardface.
“Mew!”, said Throatripper before he ran up the dog’s leg, settled himself on his back and rode him around like a pony.
I have a feeling these two might make a lethal and devious partnership in the back garden.
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