Zzzzz, you bastards

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on August 30th, 2006

You know who annoy me? Those people who can just fall asleep anywhere, at any time, no matter how uncomfortable the situation or circumstances or the chair.

Like if you’re in a hospital waiting room and there’s always one bloke on one of those old school chairs and he’s fast asleep but always manages to wake up when the incomprehensible intercom calls his name.

Or those people who get on a plane, set their chair back and snooze merrily the whole way. I hate those bastards. I’m sitting there with white knuckles, muttering incantations to ensure the plane doesn’t fall out of the sky, wondering why I can’t sleep despite the 6 gin and tonics I had before take off and this cunt is fast asleep as if he’s in the most comfortable bed of all time. It’s maddening. I can’t even fall asleep during a Tom Hanks film!

Unless I’m slightly jarred it always takes me some time to fall asleep at night. I’ll toss and turn, and fluff up my pillow and shovel the duvet around and turn on my light again so I can read more to make my eyes tired but I know people who can go asleep as they turn a page in the book they’re reading.

That’s why I’m nearly always jarred. Some people say getting up early and having a full, interesting day which makes you tired means you can sleep far easier when you go to bed but I really wouldn’t know anything about that.