They’re *all* cunts

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on August 29th, 2006

Dirty Dave has a new ladyfriend. She came into Ron’s with him last night. Her name is Olga. She looks like a shoe. She is the person I have least in common with in the whole wide world and I include my evil twin brother who likes the exact opposite of me in that.

“Oh, I love Elvis”, she said out of the blue as if it had been part of the conversation.

“Elvis? I hate that cunt”, I said.

“How can you hate Elvis?”, she gasped.

“I just can.”

“That’s not a good enough reason!”

“My reasons are my own.”

She then expressed deep admiration for Robbie Williams, Dolly Parton, Bono and Phil fucking Collins, expressing a particular devotion to the drums in ‘In the air tonight’.

“Robbie Williams. Cunt”, said Jimmy.

“Dolly Parton. Big tits”, said Stinking Pete.

“Bono, is a da focking most big cunt in a da world”, said Lucky Luciano.

“Phil Collins. Bald, sub-cabaret, Motown song destroying, shit-eating, making us watch him two times at Live Aid cunt. And the drums in ‘In the air tonight’ are for cunts, loved by cunts, and air drummed by cunts the world over”.

“Well, who do you like then?” she asked.

“Erm”, I said.

“Er”, said Stinking Pete

“Uhm”, said Jimmy the Bollix.

“A aaah”, said Lucky Luciano.

I hate when people ask me difficult questions.