Apologising

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on July 31st, 2006

Having to apologise when you don’t really mean is a pain in the arse. Like if you sent somebody an email from your work address and called them a cunt then the cunt publishes the email on his website and then you have to say you’re sorry when you’re really not because the cunt is a cunt and that’s why you called him a cunt.

You should always send emails calling people cunts from a non-work address, kids. If not your career prospects may not be enhanced.

I remember in my office working days a foolish boy doing a ‘reply all’ to an email that was sent by the Chief Exec. It was some typically nonsensical piece of crap that was supposed to motivate us, to make us believe that what we were doing was important and that the company was worth giving that little bit extra for instead of being a badly run, overspending, over-reaching, caught up in the tech boom disaster waiting to happen.

His reply: “If that cunt spent as much time working as sending these shitty emails things might be better around here. The bacon in the canteen might even be crispy of a morning!”

He was forced to apologise even though he didn’t mean it.

Like the time I walked into the canteen one day after we’d had a meeting with one of the bosses to find my fellow team mates sitting around a table.

“What a fucking cunt that cunt is”, I said.

I didn’t notice their faces dropping.

“Seriously, if he wasn’t the boss he’d be the butt of so many more jokes. He disgusts me. He’s a wimp. A fucking corporate wimp.”

He was sitting behind the pillar out of my sight.

“Oh”, I said. “Sorry about that.”

I wasn’t really sorry though. He was sorry that he couldn’t fire me however but that’s a different kind of sorry.