Come on in…
Sometimes the people of Ireland confuse and upset me. They will tolerate corrupt leaders, get ripped off and do nothing about it, allow shite like Celebrity Jigs and Reels to be broadcast without toppling the transmission tower at RTE, buy the records of Damien Rice, make it seem plausible that Martin King knows anything at all about the weather and allow Dana to have lived so long.
Other times they make me happy though like when 85% of people polled believed they should be allowed defend themselves from burglars in their own home without the threat of prosecution and a lawsuit.
As one man put it, “A good beating should be an occupational hazard for someone who thinks threatening families in their homes is acceptable.”
Absolutely right. As far as I’m concerned if you come into my home to try and steal my stuff then you have automatically given up any rights you might have.
My home is protected by a state of the art security system called Bastardface. My trusty hound patrols the grounds of my back garden and has previously eaten a decent percentage of someone who tried to burgle me.
However, all security systems have their flaws and I suspect a tricksy robber might use the old chunk of steak with some sleeping powder or the rings of sausages that used to lure Scooby Doo away from his watchpost. So if that guy got into my home, having doped up my dog, and was proceeding to steal the things that I stole myself in various raids around the country worked so hard for I think I should be allowed to knock the shite out of him without fear of recrimination.
There is no way that anybody who enters your home illegally should then be allowed to sue you because you caved his head in with a poker and left him a dribbling cabbage that needs round the clock care.
Why should I go to jail when I come home and find a pair of skangers rifling through the desk looking for the keys of the safe and break their knees with a baseball bat and then tie them up and use the baseball bat to smash all the bones in their legs into tiny little pieces so any recuperation, if it’s actually possible, will take years of painful surgeries and physiotherapy so they can hobble around like 95 year old men who have had both hips replaced?
Is there any good reason why I should be inflicted with the presence of both the Gardai and lawyers because I awake to the sound of a window breaking and then knock the intruder unconscious before starving him to death over a period of about 3 months in my basement?
There is not. And that’s why the people of Ireland have made me happy. Of course there are still 15% of people who think it’s ok for some cunt to come in your house and then when you prevent him stealing your things you get prosecuted and sued and possibly lose your home to pay the little cunt that was trying to rob you in the first place.
Why don’t you just let them fuck you in the arse as well while they’re at it? 15% is a lot of people at the end of the day.
Probably just enough to make the burglars fancy their chances. Zero tolerance would be much better but some people believe these people have rights.
I bet you any money none of those 15% have ever been burgled.
