Prince Phillip

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on April 26th, 2006

So Prince Phillip, husband of the Queen of England, is visiting Dublin today. He’s famous for his witty quotes.

This will be his second visit to Dublin as he came here before in 1998. At some point he slipped away from the main party and ended up in Ron’s. He pulled up a stool at sat at the bar beside me and the lads.

“You there, tavern owner. A pint of Guinness and none of your lip”, he said to Ron.

“My God, it’s a shame the famine didn’t kill more of you disgusting Micks”, he said looking at Dirty Dave. “I thought only pigs wallowed in their own filth.”

He turned his attention to Stinking Pete then. “What a ghastly little Paddy you are. You’re like Terry Wogan with the plague.”

Jimmy was sat open mouthed.

“Close your face you ghastly man. You Irish are stupid enough already without making faces to look like total mongs.”

Ron gave him his pint.

“One of the natives will pay for it, I’m sure“, he said.

“You there”, he said to me. “I realise it’s probably a good year’s wages for you, you whiskered terrorist - although that Mountbatten always gave me a pain in my arse. Bloody do-gooder he was. Kudos for that one - pay the bloody man for my drink. Barter if you have to. I’m sure you’ve got a spare goat or something, you wretched indigent.”

“Barman, give me some kind of snack. I couldn’t eat the gruel they gave me at that reception. Typical Irish fare, they said. Pig swill, I say. ‘Tayto’? You’d think you ninnies would have learned by now to move away from potatoes as your staple diet.”

“You two, fight!”, he ordered Dave and Pete. “Come on! Drunken Irish bastards. Fight. It’s what you do, isn’t it? Get drunk and fight like inebriated savages. The whole world knows it.”

What a marvellous man. I hope he comes back in to Ron’s for a pint today.