Irish Census

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on April 24th, 2006

Census. I just filled in my census form last evening. Coincided with a card game. How exciting. I hope they believe me coz it’s all true. Honest. Wanna peek?

List every person who spent the night of Sunday 23rd April in the household…

Person No. First name and Surname
1 - James the Bollix
2 - Dirty David McDavids
3 - Stinking Peter McPeterson
4 - Lucky Luciano Stasi
5 - Ronald Barman
6 - Splodge

What is your name?

Twenty Major

What is your date of birth?

26 09 1865

What is your place of birth?

Dollymount Strand

What is your nationality?

Irish. Mostly.

Where do you usually live?

In my house.

What is your religion?

Jewlimtholic. Please execute anyone who puts ‘Jedi’.

Can you speak Irish?

Ní thuigim an ceist.

How many children have you given birth to?

18

What is your ethnic or cultural background?

Guinness drinking, cigarette smoking raconteurist.

How do you usually travel to work, school or college?

Rickshaw

What is the highest leve of education (full-time or part-time) which you have completed to date?

Postgraduate diploma from the school of hard knocks

What is (was) your occupation in your main job?

Shepherd

What is (was) the full address at which you actually work(ed)?

Second field on the left, just past the Hellfire Club, Co. Dublin

I declare that this form is correct and complete to the best of my knowledge.

You can shove your census up your holes you nosey cunts.