Mike Tyson gives speeches

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on March 28th, 2006

Mike Tyson is in Ireland giving after dinner speeches, if you can believe such a thing. I assume he’s miming while someone else does the talking because he’s hardly the most eloquent or articulate person I’ve ever seen.

However, his visit has caused controversy, not because of his lack of fluency when he speaks, but because he has a conviction for rape. Some people think we shouldn’t allow rapists to enter the country and from one point of view I understand it but from another point of view shouldn’t we try and accept that the justice system is there to punish and rehabilitate people (except all the people I hate)?

I mean, we’re going to give Niall Quinn his driving licence back after he serves his ban for drink driving. We wouldn’t say ‘No, Niall, you made one mistake now you’re never allowed to drive again’, even though I wish someone would say ‘Here Niall, take this bottle of Jamesons, slug it back then go racing round Mondello with that Jamie Redknapp cretin in the passenger seat and don’t forget to forget to put your seatbelts on’.

Personally I wouldn’t have the slightest bit of interest in paying money to listen to an obvious lunatic try and give a speech. This is also the reason why I would never attend Fianna Fail Ard Fheis but I don’t see any problem with Tyson being here and if some people want to pay him €200 to stutter and blabber then that’s up to them to waste their money whatever way they want.

I wonder would the people who object to Tyson being here having any problem with Kobe Bryant coming over to play an exhibition at the National Basketball Arena. I doubt it.

And where do you draw the line on restricting entry into the country? What about burglars? Or wife beaters? Or people who don’t pay their parking tickets? Drug smugglers? Vandals? Forgers? Conmen? Killers?!

Each one causes problems in society in their own way, obviously some more serious than others but you can’t pick and choose. It’s got to be all or nothing. Criminal conviction = no entry whether you ran a red light or murdered your mother in law because she was a massive cunny.

And if we’re going to restrict entry to people who commit crimes outside of Ireland then why don’t we turn it around and banish people who commit crimes here. A proper old-fashioned banishing with no hope of ever returning. We could strike a deal with a really poor person and work out how much it would cost to keep that person in prison then sent that money to the poor country as payment for the Irish criminal we’re sending to them. That person then must live and work in that country, boosting their economy and skilled workforce while the few bob we send them helps reduce the national debt in a way that Bono and Bob Gandalf can’t, for all their hoopla.

‘Be off with you, vile gent, and ne’er again show thy visage or we’ll boot your bleedin’ bollix in.’