Bash the elderly

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on February 14th, 2006

What about those people who dressed up as Gardai and robbed an old lady in Dundalk? You know you can take your travellers, Romanians, Damien Rice fans, junkies, beggars, AIDS-lepers, child molesters, Welsh and crooked politicians but if you gave me the choice of killing one of them or some cunt who robs eldery people I’d choose the the latter every time. Apart from Romanians. And Travellers. And Damien Rice fans, junkies, beggars, AIDS-lepers, child molesters, Welsh and crooked politicians.

They truly are cowardly cunts. However it put me in mind of the time a good number of years back Jimmy the Bollix’s dear old mam, God rest her, was attacked and mugged whilst walking along a quiet residential road. The scumbag stole her wedding and engagement rings, robbed her handbag with her pension that she’d just picked up and for good measure gave her a black eye.

It took a week to find out who he was using all the contacts we could muster. Then we got a couple of authentic looking Garda ID badges from Counterfeit Conor (he used to sell £20 notes for a fiver each if you bought a grand’s worth), borrowed Ron’s dark blue Ford Sierra and called round to his house.

He answered the door.

“Good afternoon. I am Detective Major and this is Detective Inspector the Bollix. We need a word with you. May we come in?”

”Show me some ID”, he said.

“Of course”, I said flashing by authentic looking Garda ID badge. All the same it could have been something we knocked up using bog rolls and double sided sticky tape as when the bloke leant in to have a look Jimmy punched him so hard in the throat I heard his Adam’s apple shatter into a thousand pieces. We pushed inside.

”Now, here’s the word we want to have with you. The word is: PAIN”, said Jimmy as he administered a beating the likes of which I haven’t seen since. To say the man was beaten to a pulp is an understatement. Imagine if you started with pulp and beat it into more pulp. It was savage, primal, vicious.

Jimmy then ransacked the house, found the rings and found the bloke’s money hidden under a floorboard in his bedroom. As he left he pissed on his head and told him why he’d suffered the sound thrashing that had left him mewling soft.

Let me tell you something, that 78 year old man never robbed anyone again.