Haircuts

Posted in Old blogger by Twenty Major on January 19th, 2006

Got me a haircut yesterday. Not a big fan of getting haircuts but going to old Larry’s barbers makes it easier.

“Howya Larry?”, I ask as I sit down.

“Grand, Twenty”, he says. “The usual?”

“Aye”, I say and that’s the end of the conversation. He gets out his clippers, puts on the number 2 blade and proceeds to shave all the hair off my head. 5 minutes tops and that includes the old cut-throat razor to do the woolly bits on the back of the neck, sideburns and everything.

I used to go to a place on South Anne Street called the Green Dolphin where they had a team of barbers who were all older than me even. Much older. Sadly they were so old they all died, even the lovable scamp with the massive handlebar moustache, so I had to stop going there when they brought in new lads. This wouldn’t have been a problem in itself but some of them were more hairdresser than barber and the day one of them tried to massage my scalp was the last day I ever went in.

Dirty Dave always goes to Toni and Guy to get his haircut. A trim and blowjob blow-dry costs €60 or something mental like that. What a load of shite. Larry charges €10. Any man that pays €60 for a haircut is deeply suspicious if you ask me. I’ve no idea why a skanky pleb like Dave insists on paying that much, especially when he goes and they style it like he’s just got out of bed. Why not just get out of bed and save yourself €60?

Dave says it makes him feel better and more attractive to women after he gets a haircut. Apart from shop assistants and people who use public transport the closest he’s got to a woman in the last 5 years is when he french kissed a bag-lady who had passed out on Nassau Street. Still, it’s his money I suppose.

Away from that particular topic though I just want to send my heartiest congratulations to the priest in Galway who had an affair with a woman half his age and got her pregnant. He’s in his 70s and everything.

I hope others take note. It should serve as an example to all priests that their penis, if it has to go anywhere, should go into a woman’s vagina and not up little boys arses.